There and Back Again: A Missing-nin's Tale
by My God Can Beat Up Your God
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha—full-fledged Akatsuki member, international criminal and S-class missing-nin—finds himself thrown back through time to the morning of the ninja academy graduation exam. And he isn't happy about it. (Time travel, Sasuke&TeamSeven-centric).
1. Graduation

**A/N:** Yes, I know, it's another one of those gosh darn time-travel fics. The majority I've read follow an overpowered/awesome/unusually intelligent Sakura/Naruto on a fix-it journey and the few Sasuke-centric stories I've seen follow a Reformed!Sasuke, Sasuke trying to prevent the massacre, etc.

This fan fiction is a parody of sorts: as a whole, it's not meant to be taken _too_ seriously and it's not an overpowered/godlike/wish-fulfillment fic (it's the opposite, in fact). It _could _be seen as a story where Sasuke (half-heartedly) attempts to carve out a better future, albeit the term "better" here is highly subjective and involves a lot of wanton destruction.**  
**

**Warning**: It starts out lighthearted but vacillates pretty heavily between drama and humor (hence the genre categorization). This is _not_ a bashing fic (Sasuke and Kakashi are two of my favorite characters, not that it matters) but a select few might interpret it that way, especially if you're used to character flaws being minimized in fanfiction. To each his own. I find slow character development more interesting and generally more believable, so if you're expecting any quick heel-face-turns, be warned.

Spoilers up to chapter 489 in the manga. I'll try to avoid huge A/Ns after this, by the way. Whew.

* * *

**1. Graduation**

* * *

Sasuke's eyes were pinched shut. He was gripping the edge of the bathroom counter with a fervor, so tightly that the veins in his hands protruded. Making a conscious effort to slow the rapid pounding of his heart, he took a moment to picture himself.

If he were to open his eyes now, he'd see a lean young man, on the cusp of adulthood. He would be toned but not overly muscular, pale but not vampirish, with a refined facial structure and delicate features that, he assured himself, were most definitely _not _feminine. He'd have red, brightly spinning Sharingan eyes and excellently styled black hair—although without Orochimaru and Karin invading his personal space with obsessive reminders to keep it properly trimmed, said excellently styled hair may have deteriorated somewhat. It had been awhile since Sasuke had bothered to look at a mirror, so he couldn't really be sure. Possible split-ends aside, Sasuke should have been presented with the sight of an otherwise perfect specimen of masculinity upon gazing into the mirror.

He opened his eyes.

He was smaller than he should have been, and shorter, with soft features and a youthfulness that was characteristic of a prepubescent boy. Sasuke's hair was still exceedingly fashionable, but that knowledge did little to comfort him as he stood in the old bathroom of his former residence at the Uchiha compound.

There was no use in denying the facts. Sasuke Uchiha, sixteen year old missing-nin and S-class criminal, was back in Konoha, trapped in his twelve year old body and stuck four years in the past.

* * *

**EARLIER IN THE FUTURE-PRESENT-PAST**

* * *

Sasuke rubbed the bandages covering his eyes lightly in an effort to stop the unbearable itching that he couldn't seem to reach and fidgeted with the edge of his shirt. After fruitlessly trying to fall back asleep (unfortunately, there was only so much one person could sleep in a day), he had resorted to pacing in his room for the last two hours. Patience was no longer Sasuke's strong suit, and hadn't been for some time. When were these damned eyes going to be fixed? He wanted to be in top form, he wanted to fight Naruto, he wanted to wipe out Konoha, and he wanted to do it all. Right. Now.

Knowing Madara was around the hideout somewhere, Sasuke resorted to wandering through the base blindly and he had just finished memorizing thirteen distinct wall textures from feeling his way through the halls when he heard voices.

Stealthily creeping towards the sounds, Sasuke identified at least three distinct voices, two of which he immediately attributed to Madara Uchiha and Kabuto. The third voice was unknown to him, but he spoke in raspy tones, as if hoarse from age... or perhaps from years of chain-smoking. Who was he to judge?

Madara was speaking, "-still don't see how this would be of any use to us."

"How could a time travel jutsu _not _be of use to us?" Kabuto responded after a brief pause.

The unknown voice spoke up. "C'mon, just think of the possibilities! You'd be able to go back in time, right past wrongs. Change the future. You're still having some difficulties capturing the jinchuriki, right? It's easy. Go back in time and catch them off-guard, when they're unable to defend themselves."

"I can't even begin to count the ways in which that hypothetical scenario is implausible. And pointless," Madara drawled.

"Yeah, yeah. How about this, then? Travel back to your fight with Hashirama Senju at the Valley of the End. How does the title Uchiha Madara, The First Hokage sound? It's music to the ears, I tell ya!"

"Have you not heard of the grandfather paradox?"

"Totally irrelevant. The jutsu doesn't send a duplicate of yourself, it just throws your mind and soul into the past."

Sasuke had stopped sneaking towards them and was listening in with increasing confusion.  
..the hell were they talking about? Time travel? Were they joking?

He continued to stand there for several minutes, silently eavesdropping. No, they weren't joking. Madara, Kabuto and someone Sasuke hadn't met were very casually standing around discussing the hypothetical possibilities and ramifications of traveling through time, as if it was a perfectly logical plan B in the event that the whole Ten-Tails plot didn't work out the first time around.

This was possibly the most inane, _insane _hypothetical conversation Sasuke had ever unwittingly happened upon. Kabuto and Madara were clearly crazy, but that wasn't exactly a revelation at this point. Anyone stuck in a room with them for more than twenty minutes would have figured that little tidbit out, so why was this so surprising? Honestly, the things Sasuke was willing to put up with for power. He should get a medal when this was all said and done.

Sasuke realized the conversation had ceased, at least momentarily, and he felt the probing interest of several sets of eyes on him. The three men had likely noticed his presence much earlier, but hadn't deemed him interesting enough to interrupt their epochal discussion on time travel.

"Oh, hello, Sasuke. Shouldn't you be recovering?" Kabuto inquired, his voice overly polite and airy.

Sasuke didn't bother responding. He was glaring in Kabuto's general vicinity from behind his bandages, but the effect was obviously lost on them. When the three men realized Sasuke wasn't going to speak, Madara redirected his attention back to Kabuto and continued the debate Sasuke had rudely interrupted.

"This man is clearly lying. I of all people am familiar with space-time jutsu, and what he's proposed is ludicrous."

"Not necessarily," Kabuto rebuked, stopping to allow Madara to continue.

"It's impossible to change time. If I were to use that jutsu right now to travel back a half an hour earlier and kill Higurashi,"—Sasuke figured that must be the name of the unknown man—"He would not have been able to teach me the jutsu in the first place and I therefore would not have been capable of traveling back in time to kill him."

Kabuto chuckled. "Yes, if there were two copies of you; however, we have already established that only the mind would be sent back. The 'you' in question would already know the jutsu and would not need to be taught it again."

Sasuke imagined Madara frowning from behind his mask. "That wouldn't matter. If I killed Higurashi and prevented myself from being taught, it should follow that my future mind wouldn't know the jutsu in the first place. Knowledge doesn't sprout from thin air."

"Ah, but Madara, you are assuming that the future and past yous are from the same timeline. If we were limited to one reality, then you would be correct. But what if there were an infinite amount of alternate timelines diverging from one another at an infinite amount of points?"

Madara was quiet for a moment. "So rather than traveling backwards in time, one would in actuality be traveling to an alternate reality located at an earlier point in history, before the timelines diverged. Interesting theory, but it begs the question: what happens to the original timeline? Would the person who skipped through dimensions cease to exist in their current reality or would they leave behind an empty husk of a body, devoid of a soul?"

"Who knows? If a single soul existed in an infinite amount of realities, it's possible that someone could jump to an alternate dimension while leaving the original one completely intact. They probably would not even be aware of the occurrence and assumed the jutsu failed completely."

Madara scoffed. "How incredibly useless. Higurashi, what are you doing?"

The man in question had been strangely quiet throughout the debate and Sasuke had been too distracted by the absurdity of the conversation to pay him much heed. Weren't these people supposed to be planning a war?

"There!" Higurashi cried out, and it didn't occur to Sasuke to be suspicious until he felt an immense force of wind rush towards him. It blew him off of his feet and left his whole body burning as a surge of adrenaline rushed through him.

The last thing he heard before losing consciousness was Higurashi cackling, "Oh, whoops! My hand slipped! I was aiming for the potted plant next to him."

When Sasuke came to, he found himself lounging in an incredibly comfy bed, listening to the irritating peal of an alarm clock as sunlight poured into the room from every direction.

The blaring alarm sounded eerily familiar, Sasuke absently noted as he opened his eyes...

* * *

**BACK TO THE PAST-PRESENT-FUTURE**

* * *

Sasuke was a bit embarrassed to admit that his initial reaction to the whole situation, once he fully acknowledged the circumstances, was relief that his bandages were nowhere in sight and that his eyes were blissfully itch-free. This was quickly followed by disbelief, denial, fifteen minutes shouting "Kai!"repeatedly, overwhelming feelings of panic and powerlessness, and finally a rage-filled tantrum that left the bathroom looking like Naruto had stayed over for the weekend.

Thirty minutes later he was back on his bed, sitting hunched over with a dazed expression on his face. He held a calendar loosely in his hand and glanced at it occasionally as if hoping the date and year would magically change the next time he looked.

According to the calendar and confirmed by the date on his alarm clock, today was the day he would be tested and graduate from the Academy.

It couldn't be real. There must be some mistake.

If it was true, if Sasuke had really gone back in time courtesy of Madara's insane house guest, then everything he'd accomplished... leaving Konoha, breaking his bonds, absorbing Orochimaru, killing Itachi... joining Akatsuki, becoming a missing-nin, killing Danzo, his alliance with Madara... none of it would have happened. Everything he'd sacrificed and diligently worked so hard to accomplish was gone. Erased.

As Sasuke stared listlessly at the balcony across from him, it hit him like a knife in the gut that Danzo was still alive. Damn it. After all that trouble, that bastard, that bastard was still walking around with those Sharingans stashed away in his arm. That was a slap in the face to Uchihas everywhere. Well, all two of them, at any rate. Where was Madara in this time period, anyway? Had he joined the Akatsuki yet? Sasuke hadn't bothered to learn...

A second later, his back straightened and he exhaled sharply. Itachi. Itachi was alive here, somewhere.

A myriad of emotions tore through him—elation, hesitancy, confusion, anger—before finally settling on his personal favorite, resentment.

What did it matter if Itachi was still alive? It didn't change anything. Konoha had still ordered Itachi to wipe out their clan. His parents were still dead, Itachi was still living in exile and Sasuke had still grown up without a family. Itachi might have a physical presence in the world, but he wasn't _living_—not really.

Just the thought of Itachi was enough to bring Sasuke's blood to a boil, and the quietly seething anger that was always present in the back of his mind came rushing out. His entire life was ruined because of Konoha. Itachi had been ordered to murder his family, all in the name of peace—peace that Itachi himself would never get a chance to experience. Sasuke had to grow up with the images of his dead, bloodied parents seared into his mind and had his entire childhood tainted with the knowledge that the brother he idolized and cherished had betrayed them. All for the sake of the happiness of others, others who didn't do anything to deserve it. No, what _they _deserved was to understand the wrongs done to the Uchihas, and to feel the wrath and pain of his unwavering hatred.

Sasuke's brooding was interrupted by his alarm going off for the tenth time that morning. Annoyed, he picked it up and chucked it at the balcony window, which let out a satisfying crack loudly upon impact and nearly shattered the glass.

He was going to be late for his academy test if he didn't leave in the next five minutes. Sasuke debated skipping the event in favor of spending the rest of the morning sulking, but eventually decided that it would make a lot more sense for him to go out and investigate. After all, this could still be an elaborate ruse, right?

* * *

It was not an elaborate ruse.

Upon leaving the compound, Sasuke headed warily through the streets of Konoha, using a large bandana to completely cover his hair, just in case Madara's version of a prank involved casting an age-reversing jutsu on people and dumping them in their old houses in the middle of enemy territory.

That possibility was discarded, however, as soon as he stepped through the doors of the Academy classroom. Upon entering, a heady silence greeted him. Iruka was standing at the front of the classroom behind a large podium. To Sasuke's left, the aisles were filled with students, their unwavering gazes fixed on him.

After a moment, Iruka smiled hesitantly. "Nice of you to join us, Sasuke. Is everything alright? It's not like you to be late, especially on a day like this."

Sasuke stared at him.

No, everything was _not _alright, as a matter of fact. His eyes darted towards the academy students. His classmates. They looked just like he remembered them...

His eyes locked onto a mass of bright pink hair at the back of the classroom—Sakura. As soon as the girl noticed Sasuke staring at her, she blushed prettily and held a up hand to her face. Sasuke looked away and continued to scan through the crowd until he saw orange. Naruto was grinning cheekily and laughing at some private joke, probably inordinately amused that Sasuke was late.

"You can take a seat anytime now, Sasuke," Iruka followed up, giving Sasuke a questioning look.

The utter surrealness of the situation left him momentarily stunned, and all he could manage was a slight nod as he mechanically walked towards the nearest open chair and sat down. Inwardly, Sasuke was reeling.

The student sitting on his right—whose name he couldn't remember, if he ever knew it at all—took one look at him and whispered, "Nice... bandana, Sasuke." He looked away and snickered quietly to someone next to him.

An unremarkable girl with mousey brown hair on Sasuke's left glared at them and immediately jumped to his defense. "It's much nicer than your stupid ponytail!" she seethed. She took the opportunity to scoot closer to Sasuke, who had narrowed his eyes and was looking angrier with each passing second. "I think it's... dashing," she said. "It's very brave of you to try something new."

Sasuke sneered inwardly. He should have just used a henge... wait, why _hadn't _he used a henge? For some reason using ninjutsu hadn't even occurred to him...

As soon as Iruka cleared his voice and began speaking to the class, Sasuke glumly ripped the offensive piece of cloth off of his head.

"We are now about to begin the graduation ceremony. When your name is called, proceed to the next classroom. Your text will be on the Clone Jutsu," Iruka announced. "First up: Akimichi Choji."

The student in question gulped audibly and hobbled down the isles, quietly following Iruka out of the classroom. Loud chattering broke out immediately upon Iruka's exit, and Sasuke did his best to tune them out and appear as unapproachable as humanly possible.

He was back in the past. He was twelve. Itachi was alive.

The words kept repeating themselves over and over, but his mind was having a difficult time accepting that this wasn't some disturbingly detailed nightmare.

One thing was absolutely certain: Sasuke needed to get back, and he needed to get back immediately. What had that man been called? Higurashi? If that was even his real name, Sasuke cursed silently. What a wonderful time for him to have been functionally blind. Sasuke had no idea what Higurashi looked like, where he was from, or who he associated with. Madara hadn't been familiar with the man, so Kabuto must have introduced the two of them... but Sasuke somehow doubted that the Kabuto in this time frame would know him.

Maybe he should try looking at the circumstances from a different angle. The situation—if it was, in fact, real—could be a blessing in disguise. What better way to destroy Konoha than from within? At this age, he was basically a favorite of the Hokage, his teachers, and every female he'd ever met. He was pitied by some due to his familial situation, but pity was an easily exploited weakness. With his skills, it'd be a cinch to take out Konoha's Councilors. They'd be completely caught off guard, not expecting a lethal strike from a twelve-year-old boy with no ulterior motives (and he could figure out what to do about the rest of Konoha afterwards). Perhaps he'd leave Sarutobi alive, since he hadn't agreed with the plan to annihilate the Uchihas— at least long enough to get him to clear Itachi's name. Or maybe he should just come up with evidence of the Uchiha conspiracy and do it himself. Somehow... he'd work out the finer details later.

Focusing his attention back to the present, Sasuke glanced at Naruto once more, who seemed to be exceedingly nervous about the upcoming exam. What an obnoxious kid. It was outright offensive how far along he had come. Almost rivaling him, Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke, the best in the class, and Naruto, dead last. Was Naruto's potential really so much greater than his own?

Sasuke settled on glaring at the back of Naruto's head for the duration of the period. The object of his attention didn't seem to notice, so Sasuke figured he must be used to waves of hostile energy directed at him. Eventually Naruto's name was called, and the blonde-haired boy exited the classroom to take the exam, forcing Sasuke to find other forms of entertainment.

For some reason, he didn't remember class being this boring. Sasuke tried to think back to this period of his life...What did he do at this age again?

Let's see... Train. Think about training. Think about killing Itachi. Train some more. Wish that people were less annoying. Wish that less people were in his way, holding him back from training. Eat. Sleep. Style his hair. Dream about training... Dream about killing Itachi...

Well, that wasn't going to be very helpful. He really couldn't remember much of anything else.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

Finally.

Sasuke deftly hopped out of his seat, trailing after Iruka and into the next area. The new classroom was almost entirely empty, save for Iruka and some other unimportant teacher he barely remembered. In front of them was a table filled with genin-level ninja headbands.

Iruka sat down, and both teachers looked at him expectantly.

A clone jutsu? Pathetically simple. Sasuke recalled summoning at least four last time around, but at his current level, he could easily blow Iruka away with-... wait a second.

Sasuke was gathering his chakra, but faltered slightly, frowning. He made the appropriate hand seals and hastily cried out, "Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Four clones appeared on either side of him.

"I'm impressed, Sasuke. Congratulations, you've-"

But Sasuke didn't hear him. He fumbled with his chakra once more, repeatedly trying to control it and went cold as a heavy, sinking feeling burrowed down in the pit of his stomach.


	2. Evaluation

**A/N:** Ct is shorthand for client.

* * *

**2. Evaluation**

* * *

Newly graduated genins were congregating en mass outside the Konoha Ninja Academy in celebration of passing their exams. Sasuke, upon exiting the building, hastily strove past his peers without a backward glance and blatantly ignored all congratulatory remarks directed his way. He heard a whining cry of "Sasuke-kun, wait!" from someone who sounded suspiciously like Ino—he hadn't heard her voice in years, so it was difficult to say for sure—and he increased his pace in response.

Sasuke didn't stop walking until he found himself alone, at the lake near his home where he had practiced and perfected the trademark Uchiha fireball jutsu so long ago.

Standing at the dock, he lifted his hands and mechanically performed a set of seals. "Katon! Goukakyuu no jutsu!"

He blew out his chakra and observed with a small amount of relief as a large fireball cascaded out over the water. Sasuke's relief evaporated entirely when he realized exactly how much chakra that puny fireball had cost him.

A cold sweat broke out as he attempted to gather and control his chakra enough to perform Chidori. Electricity danced across his hands before ebbing and fizzling out entirely.

No.

Was it because he didn't have enough chakra stored up? Was his chakra control affected by this too?

Pursing his lips, Sasuke closed his eyes and concentrated on directing the flow of his chakra towards his feet before confidently stepping off of the dock. He managed a few steps across the surface of the lake before he was unable to keep up a stable stream and crashed feet first into the water.

Furious, Sasuke let out an indecipherable shriek, entirely forgetting that he was underwater: his lungs filled with liquid and he rose to the surface, choking and spluttering and gasping for air. Freezing, thoroughly soaked, and unbelievably pissed, Sasuke padded back towards the dock and lifted himself out of the lake.

He sullenly glared at his image reflecting from the surface of the water and was pleased to discover that his eyes were red with the Sharingan, albeit only one tomoe was present. For a moment Sasuke wondered if he had in fact pissed himself off enough to have activated it—wasn't it unlocked under extreme emotional distress or something? He couldn't quite recall—before remembering that he had actually activated it back when Itachi had fled from Konoha.

Deciding to do some light experimentation, Sasuke headed back to the village and came to several distressing conclusions. At his current level, Sasuke could still see the flow of chakra, copy hand movements and read lips, but that was about it. He was unable to track moving objects and could not use the Sharingan to predict anyone's movements.

Sasuke was even further disturbed by the discovery that although he could remember many taijutsu moves, his muscles refused to cooperate. He could clearly recall dozens of ninjutsu hand seal sequences, but his movements were slower and clumsier and frankly, his chakra control sucked.

Sasuke had questions that needed answers. Like, what the hell was going on? Why did this have to happen to him, where the hell was Higurashi and how much trouble would his twelve-year-old self get into for killing him?

Dejected and moody, Sasuke meandered aimlessly through the village until he found himself standing in front of Konoha's Public Library. He doubted there would be anything of use but was at a loss as to what to do next.

The librarian at the help desk politely welcomed him in as he shuffled towards her.

"How can I help you, young man?" She leered at him while twisting the edge of her braided hair.

Oh lord, it was one of _those _women. And by _'_one of _those' _he meant every woman he'd ever met.

"I need books," Sasuke said curtly.

The librarian quirked an eyebrow. "That's good, since this is a library. Books are pretty much all we have."

He glared. She sighed.

"Okay then. What kind of books are you looking for?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated, unsure of where to start. "I need books on time travel," he said after a moment, "And books on memory."

"Um. Time travel... right..." She rose from her desk and waved for him to follow, ushering him deeper into the library. Stopping briefly, she plucked a mass market paperback off of a shelf labeled science fiction before leading him towards a different aisle. "We don't have anything specifically on time travel, but maybe if you look through some theoretical science books, you might find something? In the meantime…"

"Here," the librarian handed him a book titled Cognitive Psychology. "Have fun with that."

Smirking, she also tossed him a worn-down fiction book with a goofy cartoon cover called 'Roswell That Ends Well', which Sasuke promptly threw onto the floor as soon as she turned her back.

Sasuke spent the next fifteen minutes reading through the Cognitive Psychology introduction, quickly came to the conclusion that the book was complete garbage and skipped straight to the section on memory.

An hour later, after reading through the relevant sections at least three times, Sasuke came to several depressing realizations.

One: Evidently, there were different types of memory, and each type was stored in a different location in the brain.

Two: He had apparently retained episodic memory and semantic memory. The former was responsible for the majority of his recollections and essentially consisted of a conglomeration of details (sights, sounds, smells) that composed events and were stored as long-term memory. The book also mentioned that vivid memories were directly tied to strong emotion, which explained why Sasuke barely remembered anything about the current time period outside of obsessively training. Damn. The latter type of memory described general knowledge of the world—information like the names of past Hokages, his familiarity with the layout of Konoha, and the correct handsigns for jutsus.

Three: His procedural or implicit memory of anything after the age of twelve, however, was gone. This apparently consisted of memorized activities that most people learned and then completed automatically, like how to swim, how to throw a shuriken and apparently how to channel chakra well enough to avoid dunking yourself into a lake.

At first Sasuke couldn't quite figure out why his chakra reserves were gone, but he eventually decided that reserves had to be built over time and that the process of extracting energy from your body and mind must also count as a sort of procedural memory.  
**  
**He tried consoling himself with the fact that he knew the drills and how to properly teach himself. It should go faster the second time around, but still...

On that note, Sasuke returned home to train. He tested his abilities for a little while before becoming exceedingly frustrated with his lack of skill, and spent the rest of the evening moping before heading to bed early.

* * *

"Hello, Sasuke. Have something for me?" The Third Hokage's eyes crinkled slightly as he smiled in greeting. Sasuke stepped through the door to his office and made his way towards the desk, an important looking document in his hand.

Sasuke nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Sarutobi."

"Hokage-sama," Sarutobi corrected.

"Hokage."

Sarutobi gave him a stern look, but when the newly instated genin failed to react and continued to stare at him vacantly, the Hokage sighed and looked at the ninja registration form Sasuke had dropped on his desk.

"Everything seems to be in order," Sarutobi squinted and gave the registration form another once-over before placing it back on the table. "Sasuke, please accompany Dr. Shigure down the hall for your psych evaluation follow-up appointment. Return here when you're finished and everything should be good to go."

Sarutobi relaxed as Sasuke nodding grudgingly and followed a dark-haired, lanky man in a lab coat out of the office. Technically, newly licensed genins weren't necessarily required to have a psychological evaluation unless it was recommended by their instructors. Sasuke didn't need to know that, though.

Upon entering, Dr. Shigure guided Sasuke through his office and motioned for him to sit down on the overly comfy red armchair opposite of his desk. Sasuke ignored him and instead took a seat on one of the fold-out chairs near the door. Undeterred, Dr. Shigure tried engaging Sasuke in conversation through various tactics, most of which failed miserably and only managed to annoy him. The examiner kept asking him probing questions about how he felt about graduating, how he was doing... was he lonely living in the compound by himself? Had he made any friends? Was he excited about being placed on a genin team and was he looking forward to missions?**  
**  
"It's been nearly four years since your last appointment, it seems. Your file notes that you used to have trouble sleeping."

"Hn."

"Is this still the case?"

"No."

"I see." Dr. Shigure looked at him briefly before returning his gaze to the papers in front of him. "It looks like your marks at the Academy have returned to being the top scores, but your teachers have indicated that you are still having some conduct problems."

"Not really."

"Not even when provoked by certain classmates?"

Sasuke wrinkled his nose distastefully. "By certain classmates, you mean Naruto."

"Hm, Naruto, you say?" The psychiatrist jotted something down, and Sasuke stared at the clipboard suspiciously. "He's also quite the troublemaker, I hear."

Sasuke remained silent and pointedly avoided eye contact, opting to look at the framed certificate above Dr. Shigure's head instead.

"Is there anything you'd like to say?"

After several minutes of tense silence, Dr. Shigure leaned forward with his hands folded together under his chin and sighed deeply. "I realize that you feel like nobody can understand you, and that it's difficult to trust anyone after the trauma you suffered at the hands of your rogue brother's betrayal, but perhaps-"

Dr. Shigure continued to talk on and on—about how he shouldn't blame himself, how he couldn't have stopped his brother, how Itachi's failings weren't his, how he'd feel better if he tried connecting with people—until Sasuke couldn't take it anymore.

Sasuke abruptly pushed his chair back with such a force that it toppled over. His hands were shaking and he was glaring at the psychiatrist with enough animosity to cause Dr. Shigure to straighten involuntarily. He hadn't expected such a seemingly innocuous comment to invoke that dramatic of a response.

"You know _nothing. _You understand _nothing_."

With that, Sasuke fled from the room. **  
**

* * *

Sasuke stormed back into the Hokage's office, and for a moment he couldn't remember why he had even bothered coming back.

"Sasuke?" The Hokage looked up in surprise as Sasuke entered. "You're back sooner than expected. Did Dr. Shigure release you early?"

"Dr. Shigure is an idiot. He doesn't know what he's doing," Sasuke spat. "I refuse to waste my time talking to someone like that."

The Hokage's assistant entered the room as Sasuke finished speaking and quietly handed Sarutobi the clipboard from Dr. Shigure's office. He was silent as he read through the document. The headband covering Sasuke's forehead suddenly felt horribly constricting, and he suppressed the urge to tear it off and throw it on the floor.

"Low in agreeableness, and some of the lowest scores in cooperation and assertiveness at the academy," Sarutobi read aloud and drummed his fingers lightly on the table. "These skills are necessary for a well-functioning genin team. Tell me, Sasuke, how do you plan on becoming a jonin, let alone a chunin, if you cannot cooperate with others and refuse to lead? It's true that you're extremely skilled and have the potential for greatness, but talent alone will not get you far. A ninja is not an island unto himself."

Sasuke's posture was rigid, his eyes shrouded and uncommunicative. Sarutobi guessed that he was on the verge of losing composure.

"You've previously stated that your goal in life was to hunt down your brother and avenge your clan. How do you expect to accomplish this with your current attitude?"

Sasuke was seeing the office through violent shades of red. He wasn't going to _hunt down his brother_. He was going to hunt down Konoha. How dare Sarutobi look at him in the eye like he had a right to? How dare he let Sasuke sit there and believe that Itachi deserved to be hunted down, knowing what he knew? As if he hadn't sat idly by as Danzo overruled him and ordered Itachi to massacre his own clan?

Overwhelmed with rage, Sasuke straightened his back abruptly and burst out, "Fight me."

The Hokage stared at him in silence. Ah, had he said that out loud? Sasuke didn't remember being quite so impulsive and irrational in the past. Maybe being trapped in a child's body really _was _having a detrimental effect on his health...

"What?" Sarutobi said belatedly, rubbing his temples with both hands.

Too late to take it back now.

"You heard me."

"..."

The Hokage looked exasperated. Sasuke couldn't possibly be serious. Surely he wasn't thinking straight.

"I said fight me, old man!"

Sarutobi, of course, did no such thing. The older man gave him a dubious look and remained seated at his desk. Infuriated by the lack of response, Sasuke drew out several shurikens and launched them towards the Hokage. The shurikens embedded themselves in the back of the Hokage's chair with a dull thud. Sarutobi had body flickered away and had appeared behind him, twisting both of Sasuke's arms in a lock. Something sharp was pressing painfully into his back.

"Someday, Sasuke, if that is your wish. When you're older and ready to act like less of a child."

"I'm not a child!" Sasuke snarled, flinching as Sarutobi tightened the grip on his arm.

"You most certainly are. You've only just graduated. Your ninja registration form is sitting on my desk. Do you want me to send you back to the Academy?"

Sasuke only grunted in response as he clenched and unclenched his fists in agitation. Just graduated? Yeah, right. He consoled himself with the fact that even though he had momentarily let his emotions get the best of him, Sarutobi would be dead within a year, anyway. Killed by Orochimaru, who was in turn killed by Sasuke. That was sort of like killing Sarutobi by proxy, right?

"You know, that boy Naruto turned in his registration not too long before you arrived, and it disappoints me to admit that he exhibited more maturity than you are now. Deviant jutsus and all," Sarutobi muttered the last part under his breathe and released Sasuke, who immediately darted to the other side of the room and glared up furiously at the Third Hokage.

"You're dismissed, Sasuke."

Sasuke didn't need to be told twice. He flew from the room and proceeded to pace back and forth down the hall, silently fuming. He was not a child. He had never _been _a child, not since that night. He was the _antithesis _of a child. He never played, never joked around. He was always serious and dedicated. And Naruto? As far as Sasuke was concerned, at this age he did nothing but play pranks on people, ditch class, and annoy the living hell out of anyone he ran into. Naruto got serious in his teenage years, Sasuke supposed, but he hadn't been around for those, so for all he knew the loser still horsed around constantly in between training sessions. And yet, somehow, Naruto was still able to rival him. Where was the justice in that? Why did Sasuke even bother?  
**  
**And on top of that, they had the audacity to judge him, the nerve ask him a few measely questions that he refused to answer on principle, and jot down that he was low on useless qualities like "cooperation" and "agreeableness" and "assertiveness."

Sasuke was still making his way angrily down the hall when he saw Dr. Shigure exit his office and head towards his direction. The doctor tentatively smiled politely and gave Sasuke a wide berth as they passed by each other. On a whim, Sasuke slowed his gait and waited for Dr. Shigure to turn the corner before he made a beeline for his office. Entering, he sifted through the folders stashed on the psychiatrist's desk and pounced on the manilla folder with his name on it at front of the stack. He carefully opened it—the newest notes were missing, currently in Sarutobi's possession—so he looked at the next document. It was dated four years ago. Eight, if Sasuke counted his actual age...

* * *

_Psychological Evaluation, Confidential_

_**Name: **__Uchiha Sasuke  
__**Date of Birth**__: 07/23/-  
__**Gender**__: Male  
__**Age**__: 8 years, 6 months  
__**Date of examination**__: 10/25/-  
__**Place of examination**__: Konoha Hospital, Mental Health Services  
__  
__**FAMILY HISTORY: **__  
Ct's parents are deceased; ct lives alone and is enrolled in Konoha's ninja academy. Ct has a history of trauma and exposure to extreme violence. Upon repeated attempts at AWOLing, ct was granted permission to live at the Uchiha compound and is monitored by various Konoha volunteer social workers._

_**DIAGNOSIS: **__Chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Type I  
Ct experiences marked distress when exposed to visual and auditory cues that remind him of the trauma. He mentioned having trouble sleeping at night but did not verbally disclose recurrent nightmares __or recollections of event. Ct has difficulties recalling important aspects of the trauma, exhibits significantly diminished interest in participation of most activities, hypervigilance, and has a restricted range of affect. Ct repeatedly mentioned the desire to become 'stronger' in order to kill 'him' but did not seem to have any further goals or pictures of a future beyond that.  
__  
__After initial bereavement period, symptoms persisted and were accompanied by social and academic impairment, indicative of a comorbid mood disorder as evidenced by the following symptoms: irritable mood, lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities, failure to gain expected weight during growth period, insomnia, preoccupation with feelings of overwhelming guilt and the need to prove his worth, and observed fixation on death. Examiner recommends further testing for a proper diagnosis.  
__  
__**STRENGTHS**__:  
Ct successfully channels maladaptive emotions into socially acceptable behavior, generally in the form of training. He displays high levels of autonomy, self-efficacy, scholastic competence and a strong desire to succeed._

_**NEEDS:  
**__Ct is guarded, standoffish and emotionally distant. Ct has poor emotional self-regulation in the presence of certain stressful situations, becomes highly reactive and is prone to impulsive, aggressive behaviors. Ct has difficulties following staff instruction, constantly questions authority and complies with directions only when he wants to. He is superficially impervious to praise or shame as a motivating factor. Ct exhibits extreme ego brittleness: ct lacks adaptability and has rigid defenses. When confronted with failure or when he performs inadequately, ct becomes discouraged, hostile, and displays signs of intense insecurity rather than becoming challenged and motivated to overcome obstacles._

_**OBSERVATIONS:  
**__Ct arrived promptly at the designated meeting time and appeared tense throughout the interview. He did not verbally respond to most questions posed by the examiner and had to be cued multiple times. Rapport was difficult to establish; individual was mistrustful, quiet and displayed restricted affect and minimal facial expressions. Ct exhibited good levels of attention and concentration, although he was easily startled and hypervigilant. When questioned by the examiner about his current living situation, ct mentioned that he had resumed living in his old house at the Uchiha complex. He expressed scorn and hostility when recalling that he had been relocated to an apartment compound outside of the Uchiha complex, alongside other orphaned children to be overseen and cared for by volunteer staff and social workers in lieu of a group home._

_**RECOMMENDATIONS:**__  
The present examiner notes that continued treatment is unlikely given the state of matters in Konoha—and the fact that many of these symptoms are seen as beneficial traits for shinobi to possess—but nonetheless stresses the chronic nature and severity of ct's symptoms and urges continued psychotherapy. Given the lack of emotional support from extended family members, ct would benefit from being moved back into a less isolated environment and encouraged to interact with peers outside of the Academy. If left untreated, ct is highly at risk of developing further pathology, likely related to attachment, mood and impaired cognitive functioning._

* * *

When he finished reading, Sasuke ripped the paper in half. He then tore the two halves in half again, and continued until bits of shredded paper coated the floor.

* * *

**A/N: **I have no idea where Sasuke grew up or who took care of him. I know at twelve Naruto is in a little apartment, and Sasuke has a different bedroom than before the massacre. I'd assume that if he were in an orphanage or a group home he would have been more familiar with Naruto than he was in the Ninja Academy flashbacks, so I improvised.

Thank you for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following! Hugs galore!


	3. Orientation

**3. Orientation**

* * *

Sasuke spent the night before orientation lying on the floor next to his bed, staring at blankly at the ceiling tiles. After leaving the Hokage's office, he had channeled all of his indignant fury into training, but it hadn't taken long to fizzle out entirely and Sasuke was left feeling hollow and exhausted. To put it bluntly, he was horribly depressed.

What was the point of training? He had no intention of staying in this world. Every action he performed and every move he practiced was an acute reminder that he had already done this before. It was a waste of time. An exercise in futility. Sleep escaped him, and he indulged in his new defeatist mindset until morning arrived and a steady stream of alarm beeps was yet again informing him to leave for the Academy.

After dressing and heading out—earlier than he had to, but what difference did it make?—he slowly trekked through the village. Sasuke impulsively switched directions halfway to his destination and headed towards the village gates. From a distance, he spotted Izumo and Kotetsu at the check-in station, looking miserable, bleary eyed and occasionally taking sips of coffee.

Sasuke didn't know why he had come there. For a moment, taking a chance outside of Konoha seemed infinitely preferable to facing his old team and pretending to care about being a genin. It wasn't much of an option, though. He had no idea where Orochimaru or Itachi were and at this age—and with his luck—he'd probably just be captured by enemy-nin and have his eyes extracted.

"Hey, you Sasuke Uchiha?"

Izumo had teleported from his post and was standing in front of him, bearing an insincere smile and clutching a folded paper in one hand. Sasuke was instantly leery.

The older man seemed to notice his change in attitude. "What brings you out here?"

"I was going for a walk. What are you holding?" How did he know Sasuke's name? Well, scratch that. He was an Uchiha. Of course everyone knew his name.

Izumo placed the paper in his vest pocket. "Isn't today orientation for the new genins? Don't wanna be late now, do you?"

Apparently, subtlety wasn't Izumo's forte. Sasuke gave the chunin what he hoped was a withering glare, spun around and headed back towards the Academy. Izumo stood there, wary and watching until Sasuke was no longer in sight.

Sasuke could only assume that the Hokage had put him on some sort of watch list, which was equal parts irritating and demeaning. It's not as if he had any intention of leaving, anyway. And even if he had, how could Sarutobi have possibly known? Sasuke might have thrown a fit, but that was no indication he intended on defecting. And let's be honest: if Sasuke truly wanted to escape, a few diligent gate guards wouldn't have been able to stop him. They certainly hadn't last time.

Wandering morosely back towards the Academy, Sasuke spent the trip talking himself into a resentful, bitter mood. His mind kept replaying Sarutobi's words, and then some: you're a child. Immature. Powerless. You have no control over your life.

There was no easy, fast-track method to launch himself back into top form, to the point where nobody could stop him from doing whatever he wanted to do, whatever that happened to be. No one took him seriously here. Nothing he did seemed to phase anyone. Here, he was just a kid. Gifted, talented, but a child nonetheless. Acting out? No worries, he was just 'going through a phase.' If an adult had attacked the Hokage, there would have been serious consequences—consequences Sasuke was intimately familiar with. But that's how all kids were treated in Konoha, right?

Sasuke paused his train of thought and stopped to consider Naruto. It wasn't entirely true. Naruto was always getting under people's skins. Iruka, the Hokage... ANBU as a whole. The villagers. Granted, he was juvenile and annoying, but he was so annoying that he was exceedingly difficult to ignore. The pranks he pulled for attention were generally subpar and harmless, although defacing the Hokage monument was commendable and Sasuke admired the sentiment behind it.

For a moment, Sasuke savored the idea of blatantly disrespecting Konoha's Councilors and the Hokage. The amount of irreverence he could potentially get away with was dizzying. The most they could do is retract his ninja status and prevent him from going on missions—oh, the horror! And really, what was more disrespectful than defacement of a public monument? Sasuke would probably get off with some light scolding at best because after all, he was _just a kid_.

* * *

By the time he arrived at the Academy for orientation, Sasuke was positively gloating. They wanted to call him a kid? They wanted to treat him like a child? Fine. He'd act like a child, then. He decided he didn't much care about the future of this world (or parallel universe, if that's what it was). Or his world, for that matter. He'd run into Higurashi eventually and demand to be sent back in time before the massacre or something. And then he would slaughter everyone anyway for contemplating it in the first place. In the meantime, he'd revel in his newfound childhood until he was strong enough to leave, or until he met Orochimaru at the Chunin Exams. Whichever came first.

Extremely pleased with himself and his brilliant decision, Sasuke entered the Academy and took his usual seat. The classroom was still empty for the most part, and students were slowly trickling in.

For whatever reason, when Naruto came bumbling through the doors, he chose to sit next to Sasuke despite the jokester's loudly proclaimed rivalry. The kid had a goofy smile on his face, seemingly happy that he had managed to worm his way into orientation. How he'd accomplished that was beyond Sasuke's comprehension. In the past, he had chalked it up to favoritism on Iruka's part and forgot about it entirely.

One of their peers walked by and Naruto tauntingly announced that yes, he had a right to be there, and yes, he actually _had _passed the exam... you better _believe it_, Shikamaru. A moment later Ino and Sakura stormed into the room, making a huge ruckus and arguing loudly enough to interrupt the inner monologue Sasuke was using to try and tune out the rest of his classmates.

"Um... Good morning, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke glanced up at Sakura and was momentarily blindsided by a vision of her blurred face, contorted in agony and hurt as he clenched his hand around her throat and lifted her high into the air—he blinked, and the image was gone.

"Mind if I sit next to you?" She wrung her hands together nervously.

At least she was polite enough to ask, Sasuke thought as he glowered at the orange lump on the floor behind Sakura. Come to think of it, tossing him to the ground was a little harsh. Sasuke was slightly baffled as to why the blonde-haired boy was seemingly impervious to Sakura's harsh treatment, although it occurred to him that maybe Naruto thought she was nice compared to the ridicule he received from the rest of the village.

Sakura was still waiting expectantly for Sasuke to respond, but he was saved from having to answer as Ino strode forward and roughly grabbed her arm. Their interaction immediately devolved into an argument—God, was this day over yet? His head was starting to ache—and a handful of female students began gathering around them. Suddenly Naruto was crouched on the desk, locking eyes with him and frowning inches from Sasuke's face.

"Naruto! Stop glaring at Sasuke!"

Oh, he remembered _this _alright, and it was _not happening_.

Sasuke abruptly shoved him off of the desk and sent him tumbling to the ground. Naruto sat there for a moment, dumbfounded, before jumping to his feet. Sakura could get away with that, but Sasuke?

"You bastard! What the hell was that for?"

Sasuke eyed him and scrunched his nose with distaste before shrugging. "Sorry. Your breath smelt like rotten milk."

"What?! It does not!" Naruto's eyes widened angrily and he brought both fists out. "You want a piece of me?! I'm ready whenever you are!"

As if on cue, Sasuke's fangirls immediately broke out in a chorus of shrieks, both cheering Sasuke on and berating Naruto for daring to challenge the object of their affections.

Sakura, for her part, was biting her lip and nervously looking at the door every few seconds. "Iruka-sensei is going to be here any minute. Do you guys really want to get into trouble on the first day?"

Her voice was stern and Sasuke was honestly a little surprised. Was that directed at him too?

The pink-haired girl caught sight of his curious expression and blushed. "I mean... Naruto. You're fine, Sasuke-kun! I know you wouldn't do anything stupid!"

Of course.

Sasuke decided that was as much social interaction as he could stomach for the moment and diverted his attention back towards an interesting pattern on the desk. He barely noticed as Iruka entered the classroom and began lecturing about ninjas and genins and jonin teachers. At some point he began listing names and assigning squads, and Sasuke's attention only returned to the discussion at hand when Naruto called out his name and compared his likeness to a slug.

Sasuke took a moment to glare at Naruto from over his shoulder and Iruka continued speaking.

"Sasuke had the best scores of all the graduating students. Naruto, you had the worst scores." Several students laughed mockingly in the background. "To create the best group, we put the best student with the worst student."

Sakura was smiling at the comment, but her expression looked a little forced and she must have realized that Iruka's explanation meant that she was entirely average.

After Iruka dismissed the class for lunch, Sasuke took that as a cue to get the hell away from his classmates. He heard students chattering blithely on in the background as he entered an isolated room to eat in peace. Sasuke found himself going on a tangent in his head about ungrateful, ignorant citizens taking their happiness for granted, and was about to bite into his rice ball when he was jumped—literally—by Naruto.

Thirty seconds and several Naruto shadow clones later, Sasuke was bound and gagged, lying prostrate on the floor. Damn it, why hadn't he remembered this and what other embarrassing occurrences had Sasuke purposefully pretended never happened? Ambushed by a twelve-year-old failure who could barely summon a regular clone. Of all the indignities. What _had _he been reduced to?

Wallowing in self-pity, Sasuke continued to lie on the floor in defeat for a while before he eventually mustered up the energy to use an escape jutsu. Instead of looking for Naruto (what a waste of time), Sasuke began heading back towards the classroom. He saw Sakura up ahead, quietly sitting on a bench, her hands clasped anxiously in her lap. She instantly brightened up when she spotted him and she flew to her feet.

"Sasuke, you're back! Don't be so shy, you bad boy!"

..the hell was she going on about?

"Are you ready now? Are-"

..and did she _ever _stop talking?

"...mentally prepared? Because I am, I mean I'm-"

"Shut up," Sasuke cut her off as he walked past her. "The sound of your voice is giving me a headache." He turned his head to look back at Sakura's form. "It's annoying."

Sakura's eyes widened in shock, and she stared at him, evidently rendered speechless. Sasuke thought he saw something in her eyes, in the way her brow furrowed almost imperceptibly that showed an underlying indignation—that perhaps she didn't deserve to be treated that way—but it was gone in the blink of an eye. He shrugged to himself and resumed walking. She really was annoying in the beginning...

There was something he needed to get before class started up again, anyway. He didn't have time to deal with her.

* * *

Sasuke huffed irritably as he watched Naruto pace across the wooden floor of the Academy. The other squads had long since been picked up by their respective teachers, leaving the genins of Team Seven alone in the empty classroom. As the minutes turned to hours, Sasuke became increasingly impatient, and in his head, he began to list all of the reasons he despised Kakashi:

1. He tied Sasuke to a tree.  
2. He stole a Sharingan (as far as Sasuke was concerned) and was utterly undeserving of it. Kakashi didn't appreciate it, his skill was cheap and he paled in comparison to a true Uchiha.  
3. He was called Copycat Kakashi, a nickname derived from the Sharingan, which wasn't even rightfully his in the first place.  
4. He tied Sasuke to a tree and _had the nerve to lecture him afterwards._  
5. He demeaned and belittled Sasuke, and even had the gall to look disappointed in him when they last fought.  
6. He didn't respect them enough to show up on time.  
7. He was a conceited prick.  
8. He didn't even have the decency to show them his face.  
9. He was lazy and perverted.

Sasuke eventually ran out of excuses for wanting to kill Kakashi and began adding things like "his hair is stupid and prematurely gray" and "his face is probably malformed and it's a violation of natural law for an unattractive man to possess the Sharingan" and "he's really old and probably going to die soon anyway." His thoughts soon segued into standard brooding about how he couldn't kill Kakashi even if he wanted to, let alone get some dumb bell from him. Well, at the very least, he could make Kakashi's life a living hell. That was something, right?

Earlier, he had considered his options carefully and had come to the conclusion that the best way to learn how to aggravate people was to watch Naruto. He supposed Sakura's blatant fangirl fawning over himself was annoying too, but even if Sasuke ever disgraced himself enough to mimic her behavior (even in the name of irritating Kakashi), it would likely be more disturbing than annoying.

"Naruto, can't you sit still for one minute?" Sakura complained as she leisurely leaned back against one of the desks.

Naruto shrugged off her plea and slid open the classroom door, popping his head through the entrance. "Why is our teacher the only one who's late?" He whined after a moment, pulling his head back into the room. "Even Iruka-sensei went home already!"

"He's always late."

Sakura and Naruto both snapped their heads towards Sasuke. He really needed to stop saying things out loud.

"Huh? You know who he is, Sasuke-kun?"

"Who is it, who is it? Sasuke! Tell us!"

He pretended not to hear them.

"C'mooon, don't hold out on us, you jerk! What's he like at least?"

Sasuke considered this. "A sentimental idiot."

When Naruto realized that Sasuke wasn't going to elaborate, he stuck out his tongue and looked around the classroom for the fiftieth time that hour. This time, though, a devilish smirk crossed his features and he dashed to the front of the room. Soon he was dragging a stool towards the door while gripping a chalk eraser in his free hand.

"Hey, what are you doing, Naruto?" Sakura scowled, placing her hands on her hips.

Naruto reached up, preparing to wedge the eraser at the top of the open crack. "It's his fault for being late!"

"Naruto."

"Eh?" He looked down at Sasuke from his position on the stool.

Sasuke beckoned him with one hand to come over, but Naruto just stared at him in confusion.

Sighing, Sasuke stood up and walked over to the entrance. "Tch. If you're going to bother with something like that..." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small blue tube. "Here."

Naruto held the object in his hand, hesitant and wary. Why was Sasuke talking to him? Why was Sasuke _helping _him, with a prank of all things?

After a few seconds, Naruto must have decided that Sasuke's intentions were genuine, because his face broke out in a grin and he waved the tube excitedly in the air. "Oh yeah, that's awesome, Sasuke!" He proceeded to hastily squeeze the gelatinous paste onto the eraser and repositioned it at the top of the door, pleased that it seemed too thick to drip.

Naruto backed away from the entrance and cackled merrily to himself while Sakura looked at back and forth between her two teammates, apparently conflicted. Realizing that Naruto's stunt had Sasuke's approval, Sakura began giggling along with Naruto. "I love these kinds of tricks!"

"Really, Sakura-chan? I didn't know that!"

Sasuke looked at her skeptically. _Sure _she did.

Amidst their laughter, a hand slid through the doorway unnoticed, and the sound of a dull _thwap _drew their attention back towards the entrance.

Kakashi Hatake's head was poking through, mimicking Naruto's earlier stance. The eraser had hit him soundly on the head, right in the center of his wild mop of gray hair—but it hadn't fallen off.

"Hahahahaha! I can't believe it!" Naruto was clutching his stomach with one hand using the other to point mockingly at their new sensei. "You really fell for it!"

Sakura attempted to school her expression into something resembling disappointment, but ended up smiling sheepishly instead. "I'm so sorry, sensei. I told them not to... well.." she glanced sideways at Sasuke and her voice trailed off.

Kakashi took one look at the three of them and sighed wearily. He reached to move the eraser... only to find that it wouldn't budge. The eraser clung to hair and yanked painfully at his scalp as he pulled.

"Ah... what did you put on this exactly?"

Sasuke locked eyes with their new instructor, his face a perfect image of nonchalance. "Superglue."

It wasn't the most creative or mean-spirited prank, but it was the most he could come up with on the fly. But give him time. Sasuke was good at anything he put his mind to, after all.

Kakashi observed them silently, his eye drooping down even further. He couldn't have looked more put out if he tried, and Sasuke decided he quite liked the taste of passive-aggression.

"Let's see... my first impression of you..." Kakashi had both hands in his hair by then and was trying to delicately maneuver the eraser. "I _really_ hate you guys."

And was that black-haired punk in the back smirking? No, the Uchiha's face was blank again. It must have been Kakashi's imagination.

* * *

**A/N:**  
Played straight, I think real-Sasuke would go on a murderous suicidal rampage that would fail catastrophically and end up with him in a juvenile correction facility—or maybe just prison. He'd then break out and try to AWOL to Orochimaru or possibly Itachi, and given the lack of newb genins to send on a half-assed retrieval mission, Konoha would be forced to allocate actual competent, seasoned ninjas to drag him back. For purposes of this story, though, Sasuke needs to stick around. We'll assume he's just in shock and/or has mild brain damage.


	4. Bell Test

**4. Bell Test**

* * *

The trio of genins were sitting huddled together on the roof of the Academy. Kakashi was leaning on the rails in front of them, arms crossed. The blackboard eraser was still dangling precariously from his hair and he was casually pretending it wasn't there.

"Let's see, why don't you introduce yourselves?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Introduce ourselves how? What are we supposed to say?"

"What you like, what you hate, your dreams, hobbies... Something like that."

Sasuke quietly observed their reluctant sensei as the group chatted and wondered if Kakashi would look weirder with short hair. He hoped so.

"Last one."

Sasuke heard Sakura giggle, and after a few moments passed he noticed that the conversation had ceased.

"Sasuke!" Naruto poked him in the arm.

"_What_?"

"It's your turn to introduce yourself!"

"..."

Sasuke gave him a nonplussed look before turning his head away, choosing not to respond. Kakashi, for his part, continued to stare at him patiently in silence until Sasuke began feeling distinctly uncomfortable. "What are you staring at?"

The corner of Kakashi's eye crinkled as he smiled beneath his mask. "I'm just waiting for you. We're all very interested in what you have to say."

Naruto made a face and Sakura nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Fine," Sasuke finally spat. "You already know my name. I hate wasting my time and I don't like much of anything." What else was he supposed to say? "I don't have any hobbies and my dream..." What had he said last time? "..is to kill someone."

"Ah," Kakashi said. "A certain someone?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I can think of a few people."

Naruto paled and scooted a few inches away from him.

"I see." Kakashi coughed. "Well, you're all definitely... unique. I can already tell we'll get along splendidly." Kakashi's voice was deadpan and his eye twitched slightly as he bit out the last part of his sentence.

Sasuke eyed the eraser in his hair once more. "I'm sure we will."

* * *

Kakashi lectured them a bit on genin pass/fail rates and the survival test before sending the three of them on their way with a reminder show up bright, early and with an empty stomach. The next morning, Sasuke strongly considered arriving late to the training grounds, but he couldn't quite remember what time Kakashi finally appeared last time around. He woke up early and, after pacing restlessly through his house for the better part of an hour, showed up more or less on time.

When Kakashi finally deigned to grace the three of them with his presence, Sasuke was more than a little disappointed to see that their instructor had managed to remove the superglue without damaging his hair in the process.

"Morning," Kakashi chirped, looking suspiciously well-rested.

Sakura and Naruto immediately rose to the bait, bawling about his tardiness and Sasuke irritably noted that Kakashi seemed pleased by their reactions. Honestly, what kind of guy got off on torturing kids?

Kakashi walked over to where three posts had been erected near their designated meeting spot and carefully placed an alarm clock down. He followed this action by pulling out two silver bells and waved them tauntingly through the air.

Sasuke's face lit up with interest the moment the bells came out, and he _knew _he had to get one. It wasn't optional. He could do it. He had to.

"Your assignment is very simple. You just have to take these bells from me."

Kakashi kept talking and talking after that, still waving the bells in their faces. God, did anyone even care what he was saying at this point? Sasuke certainly didn't.

"..Class clowns are usually the weakest links. You can safely ignore them. Lowest scores," he paused. "Losers."

Sasuke must have chuckled to himself out loud, because Naruto screamed, "Shut up, Sasuke!" and catapulted himself towards Kakashi.

Before he could blink, Kakashi had Naruto restrained. "I didn't say start yet."

Why did Kakashi seem so much faster than he remembered? He watched as Kakashi let Naruto stumble out of his grip, and Sasuke caught himself twisting the hem of his shirt. Nervous tic—no, he wasn't nervous. He _wasn't_. That was ridiculous. Kakashi wasn't _that _fast. Sure, Sasuke was having some difficulties controlling his chakra, but that book about memory was probably a load of garbage anyway. All Sasuke needed was an adrenaline boost, his Sharingan and a reason. Any reason.

"Get ready, and... start."

All three students bolted off.

* * *

"You and me, right now, fair and square! Let's go!"

Sasuke snorted from his position hidden amidst the branches and leafs as he watched Naruto confront Kakashi head on. What an idiot. The jonin whipped out his book, taunting Naruto yet again as he effortlessly dodged every throw the blonde made, not even pretending to be challenged.

Eventually Kakashi prodded him right in the butt—which Sasuke decided was creepy and inappropriate—and the genin catapulted into the water. Naruto popped right back out, though, unphased and as energetic as ever.

Sasuke continued to watch the fight with steadily increasing irritation. Naruto didn't bother hiding the first time around, and even after being completely pummeled, he _still _charged headfirst into a losing battle. He really did fail as a ninja. He didn't follow any customary ninja tactics, his strategies were made up on the fly... If anyone else did that, they'd be dead. But _no_. Naruto was just so great that he could get away with it.

Well, maybe he wasn't at that level of luck quite yet, Sasuke amended as Naruto tripped a booby-trap that landed him cursing and dangling from a rope upside down in the air. Kakashi walked up to Naruto and picked the bell up off of the floor—Sasuke couldn't see his face and his back was turned towards him, but he just knew Kakashi was probably looking so goddamn smug.

That bastard never expected them to be able to get the bells. The whole setup was a sham, a blatant mockery designed to belittle them, a game meant to highlight how weak and insignificant they were at this level. Kakashi never took them seriously. It never even occurred to him that maybe his new students might actually be competent—that they might be up to the challenge. No, the best they could do was hope to group together and fail collectively. As a team. Because that's what mattered, right? Who cares if you lose as long as you make some friends along the way?

Except who needs friends when you're dead?

"Oh, and also, if the bait is _obvious_, _don't _take it." Their teacher was teasing Naruto, and suddenly Sasuke saw a different Kakashi, looking down at him in disappointment, in another time, in another place.

_**"How you've fallen, Sasuke." **_

"I'm telling you this because you _don't _get it. You _think _you get it, which is not the same as actually getting it. Get it?" His voice lilted mockingly, and in that moment, Sasuke hated him.

_**"I've seen so many guys like you, I've lost count." **_

Sasuke jumped off of the tree branch and skidded to a halt several yards from where the pair was situated, Naruto still suspended from the branch.

Kakashi tilted his head back and looked over at Sasuke in surprise. "Taking a page out of Naruto's book, are we?" He shook his head, amused. "It didn't work for him, and it's not going to work for you. You should have stayed hidden, Sasuke."

"I don't need to hide from you to win."

Sasuke allowed himself to imagine the look on Kakashi's face if he were to summon Kirin—and then imagined the look on Kakashi's face after he had been obliterated by Kirin. Assuming there was anything left of him.

"Say that after you get one of these bells, _Sasuke-kun_," Kakashi quipped, chuckling to himself.

That was it.

"Katon! Goukakyuu no jutsu!"

Sasuke cupped his mouth and blew out a stream of fire that engulfed the area where Kakashi had been standing. The edges of the flames licked upward, dangerously close to the tree Naruto was hanging from.

Naruto was shrieking hysterically and wiggling back and forth on the rope. "You set Kakashi-sensei on fire! You're gonna set _me _on fire! Are you crazy, Sasuke?! What were you thinking?!"

The smoke and fire cleared, leaving behind a small, empty crater.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" Kakashi's voice whispered from behind him, dangerously close.

Sasuke clenched his teeth and twisted, lashing out in a kick that Kakashi blocked.

"Impressive, but you could have gotten your teammate injured. I expected more from you."

Kakashi's disapproval only enraged him further, and Sasuke responded with a shower of attacks—this time around, he hadn't had time to prepare any traps. Kakashi easily managed to deflect all of his blows, and at the end of his latest barrage of kicks, the jonin grabbed Sasuke's ankle and flung him away. When Sasuke had safely landed and the dust settled, Kakashi was left staring into two red, spinning Sharingan eyes. His own were wide with shock.

The younger man was bristling with visible fury, but at the same time he seemed disturbingly disconnected from reality, as if his mind was in another place entirely—as if he had forgotten who he was fighting and where he was. All rage, all action, no thought.

"I don't care what you think," Sasuke hissed. "You're not my teacher anymore, so stop acting like you are!"

Kakashi blinked. "What are you-" He cut himself off as Sasuke charged at him, fists ready.

"A lowlife imposter like you doesn't deserve a Sharingan!"

After a shorter flurry of hits, Kakashi thrust his student back once more and leapt away, landing in the modest crater Sasuke had created earlier. He heard the sound of a rope snapping from behind him, and turned to see Naruto land back on the dirt floor—only to immediately set off the next trap and be lifted back into the air once more.

"What, no, not again!" Naruto wailed before letting himself hang limp. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei, what's he doing over there?"

Kakashi glanced back over his shoulder, and saw Sasuke crouching on the floor, one arm extended downwards and using his free hand to steady the limb.

That stance. That energy. A strong sense of déjà vu swept over Kakashi, and he narrowed his eyes. Was he...?

When sparks of lightning began dancing across the skin of Sasuke's hands, Kakashi was floored. It couldn't be. It was impossible. Was he readying chidori?

The sparks intensified, and Kakashi caught a hint of a smirk on Sasuke's features before the dark-haired boy streaked towards him. Sasuke's smile vanished as the lightning in his hand flickered unevenly and he seemed confused, as if he was unable to control what was going on. Kakashi flickered out of the way and Sasuke kept going as the sparks fizzled out, passing right under Naruto's head and straight into the tree.

* * *

In retrospect, Sasuke wasn't sure what he had been hoping to accomplish by trying to hit Kakashi with an assassination technique. He honestly hadn't thought much outside of, 'It would be so awesome if I could chidori the chidori creator before he even taught me the move! That'll show him the power of a natural born Sharingan user!'

Of course, it hadn't quite worked out that way, Sasuke admitted to himself as he futilely struggled against the ropes binding him to the wooden post. Naruto and Sakura were on either side of him, tired and embarrassed as both of their stomachs growled in unison.

Earlier, Sasuke's chidori attempt had collapsed on itself, exhausting his chakra supply, but not before it had collided with its new target. Sasuke punched the tree clean through before it failed entirely, and he had managed to knock himself out in the process. When he came to, he was tightly tied to the post in the middle of the training grounds with Kakashi's alarm clock beeping in his ear.

And now Kakashi was lecturing them. Again.

"So, all three of you are being dropped from the program. Permanently."

Sakura and Naruto gasped, and Sasuke rolled his eyes. What an embarrassment. Sasuke might not have perfectly recalled most of the bell test, but he was fairly sure it hadn't ended with him tied to a log (although he did remember Kakashi stepping on his head at one point). In the past, Naruto constantly claimed Sasuke was like a brother to him, and at the rate things were going, it was clearly happening. Uzumaki genes were slowly seeping into his DNA and contaminating him with idiocy.

"Why do you think we put you on squads? You never realized what this lesson was about."

This exercise wasn't about the bells, Sasuke mocked in his head. It was about _teamwork_. You might have been able to get a bell with _teamwork_. He snorted; yeah, right. Like Kakashi actually believed that.

"Against my better judgment, I'm going to give you guys one more chance," Kakashi sighed. "But it'll be harder this time. Eat lunch now. Well, except for you," he pointed towards Sasuke, who was glaring viciously at him. "Since Sasuke endangered one of his teammates—_twice_—and successfully demonstrated what _not _to do on a mission, he doesn't get any. Consider it a punishment for failing spectacularly at working on a team."

Kakashi paused for a moment and gave Sasuke another pointed look. After a moment, he continued, "I see you've developed your Sharingan, Sasuke. That's quite a feat."

"Hmph."

"How long?" Kakashi pressed.

Sasuke glowered at him, and Kakashi responded with a half smile that was barely visible from underneath his mask. Oh, how adorable. His twelve-year-old genin knew how to pout.

"Ah, just wondering. You don't have to answer."

Sasuke scoffed at that. Like he needed permission.

"I _am _curious about that jutsu you used earlier, though. The lightning one." Kakashi's voice was casual, but his body language was not. He had crossed his arms and was staring intently at Sasuke. "Where did you learn it?"

"..."

"Or rather, where are you learning it from? It seems you haven't fully mastered it yet. Are you developing it yourself?"

Sasuke tensed for a moment before shrugging.

"Mm." Kakashi uncrossed his arms and stretched his limbs, ending the conversation. It didn't look like he'd be getting a direct answer from the Uchiha anytime soon. "Anyway. Go on and eat. Oh, and if anyone feeds Sasuke, that person will immediately fail."

* * *

After Kakashi left, Sasuke watched Sakura and Naruto eat lunch and mentally added "tied him to a log and taunted him with delicious smelling food" to the 'Why Kakashi Deserved to Die' list.

Just as he was beginning to worry that nobody would offer him anything to eat and that they would all fail Kakashi's ridiculous hidden-test-within-a-test, Sakura put her tray down.

"Um... Sasuke," She tried surreptitiously looking around the field to see if Kakashi was nearby. "If you want... I mean, you can have some of my lunch."

Good old predictable Sakura, Sasuke thought. "Are you sure?"

Sakura froze, visibly surprised. She floundered for several seconds, as if she thought he would have gracefully declined the offer and wasn't sure what to do with this new turn of events. Sasuke had expected her to break the rules for him without hesitation, but apparently her willingness to disobey direct orders hinged on whether or not someone else took the initiative. Alone, the challenge was a little more daunting. She didn't want to get sent back to the Academy, huh? So much for loving him more than anything. What a load of-

"Right, here you go!" Sakura lifted her tray towards him, belatedly realizing his hands were bound. "Oh. I guess I'll have to feed you..." She blushed, and at that moment, her stomach growled loudly. "Ah, don't mind that! I'm on a diet!"

Naruto had stopped eating and was eyeing the two of them warily. "A diet? Why would you diet?" He asked, confused. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Ah..." Sakura lifted her chopsticks towards Sasuke, who reluctantly allowed himself to be fed. "Yesterday, around noon..."

Naruto gaped. He didn't even know somebody could go that long without food and not die. And Sasuke was just going to let Sakura give him all of her lunch, when she hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours? She was going to starve to death! He couldn't let that happen.

"It's okay, Sakura-chan! You can have some of my lunch! We can't have you starving either."

"Naruto, I wasn't going to give him _all _of my lunch. You can share some of your lunch with him, too, you know."

Naruto wrinkled his nose, and Sasuke sighed at the display. He probably should say something to Naruto, in case all this talk of sharing food wasn't enough of an example of teamwork. Something that sounded similar to an apology, but wasn't _actually _an apology. "Naruto..." he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "About earlier... I wasn't trying to hit you."

"Yeah, yeah. I was just in the way, I got it!" Naruto waved him off. "But what was that jutsu you used? It was awesome! I mean, the part where I fell on my head afterwards was less awesome, but man! I wish I could do that. And that fire one, too!" He looked wistful. "I bet I could learn both of those, easy. How am I gonna be Hokage without knowing moves like those?"

Sakura was just lifting her chopsticks up to feed Sasuke again when Kakashi appeared in a huge gust of smoke. After a rather dramatic scene that left Sakura and Naruto cowering in fear, Kakashi informed the group that they had passed.

However, he looked decidedly less happy about the fact this time around, Sasuke noted. He absently wondered if it was his fault, and then decided that he didn't care one way or the other. His chidori attempt may have actually helped them pass in the long run. Although Sasuke's earlier behavior seemed to have pissed Kakashi off, their instructor was too curious about his knowledge of the jutsu to completely dismiss his new recruits.

Kakashi offered the three of them congratulations and told them that their first official mission would start tomorrow morning. As he spoke, he was still staring at Sasuke with an odd expression on his face, but this was most likely because Sasuke was looking at him back like he wished he could kill people with his mind.

Kakashi dismissed them, and after Sakura had untied Sasuke, the four of them headed back to the village together.

Sasuke was lost in thought on the short trip back. As soon as they reached the village, the group split into different directions and Sasuke made a split second decision to tail Naruto instead of moving towards the Uchiha district. After they were far enough away from Kakashi and Sakura, Sasuke called out, "Naruto."

"Eh? What is it, Sasuke?"

"I have something to show you."

Naruto stared at him, and Sasuke turned, motioning for him to follow.

"Come on. It'll be... fun."

Naruto looked towards the path to his apartment, his lonely, small, cramped, very empty apartment, and then back at Sasuke. After a moment, Naruto beamed excitedly. "Sure, okay!"

* * *

**A/N:** Sasuke's Face Heel Turn:  
Let's control Amaterasu to save Karin, only to turn around and stab her with intentions to kill several days later! Let's think about Team Hawk in comparison to Team Seven, only to totally abandon them to fend for themselves as you chase down Danzo (maybe that was just epic foreshadowing)! [It's not completely out of the blue, but it's certainly special. You go, Sasuke! I'm still in your corner—unless you really do follow the student-mentor Naruto pattern and kill Kakashi, in which case you can go screw yourself.]


	5. Bonding

**Chapter 5: Bonding**

* * *

_About four weeks later._

* * *

_Here we go again_, Sarutobi thought as he watched the lanky, masked Kakashi stroll into his office, sans appointment. It was becoming a weekly occurrence.

The Hokage leaned forward in his seat and waited for his newest spiel.

"I'll cut right to the chase," Kakashi began. "See, I don't think I'm the best mentor for these kids. Especially the girl, Sakura. I've thought about it a lot and I really think she needs more of a woman's touch. She's a genjutsu type and has a lot of potential, you see, and Kurenai would be a much better jonin instructor for her."

The Hokage looked nonplussed.

"Unfortunately, I wouldn't want to separate her from her teammates, since they've grown so close and all, so the best solution-"

"No."

There was a brief pause as Kakashi cleared his throat.

"So I hear that Nara kid is really smart... a genius, even. Haven't seen someone that bright graduate from the Academy since, well, me!" Kakashi laughed awkwardly before trailing off. "It's a real shame he's not on my genin squad..."

"Kakashi, you are not switching teams."

Kakashi wilted and groaned in protest. "You don't understand! They're.. they're evil. Hellions! You don't know the half of it."

He walked to the back of the room, dragged a chair over to the Hokage's desk and threw himself onto it as Sarutobi inwardly rolled his eyes.

It had started out (semi) innocently enough: coins superglued to the sidewalk near his apartment ("Your fault for being so stingy," Sarutobi had said). Itching powder sprinkled over the towels at the women's bath house. Candies stuck in the shower heads at the Jonin Standby Station and dry ice in the toilets.

"And this is what they do when they're _not _trying to make my life miserable," Kakashi continued.

"I'm old, not dumb, deaf and blind. I know what goes on in the village," Sarutobi drawled. "And you've told me this already."

Kakashi went on as if he hadn't heard him, and Sarutobi mentally noted that he'd never seen the jonin be so verbose.

"—the mission went well, relatively speaking, and I was so relieved that I offered to take them to Ichiraku's—well, not pay for it, but—"

Sarutobi leaned forward and sniffed the air lightly. "Kakashi, it's ten in the morning and I can smell sake on you. Kindly get out of my office and come back when you've sobered up some."

Kakashi continued, unperturbed. "Naruto and Sasuke left before our food was even served. Naruto, leaving without ramen! As if that wasn't suspicious enough. And Sasuke muttered some bullshit excuse about sparring practice, as if I'd buy that again. I was wary, of course, but our food came and Sakura was still sitting there all alone, so I stayed," Kakashi sighed. "One of my many bad decisions..."

"Does this story have a point?"

"—so I get home later that night, and everything seemed fine. I went to sleep... and then the noise started. Hokage-sama, they put crickets _in my walls_. Hundreds of them. Hundreds! And they never stop chirping! I've tried smoking them out, even poisoning them, but they just won't _die_. They're still hidden in the crevices, breeding, haunting me with a chorus of torturous chirps..." Kakashi shuddered and trailed off.

"They're just boys being boys. Just the other day, Konohamaru-"

"I don't even know how they got in my apartment!" He exclaimed, cutting Sarutobi off. "It's booby-trapped!"

Sarutobi didn't look impressed, and Kakashi slumped further in his chair. "That was two weeks ago. I can't even go home right now, you know. I'm airing out my apartment. Place smells like something died in there. I called Pakkun to help investigate, and you know what we found? Rotted shrimp. Under my dresser. _In _my dresser. Behind the bookshelves. In the closet... Everywhere, Hokage-sama! Do you know how much I had to bribe those dogs to find them all for me? _Do you?"_

Sarutobi almost pointed out that Kakashi owned a perfectly good nose and could have done it himself, but then he decided it was probably a rhetorical question.

"These aren't fun pranks anymore. At best, they're mean, at worst, they're downright dangerous. Want to take a guess what I found in my milk carton the other day?"

Judging from Sarutobi's expression, the answer was no.

Kakashi told him anyway. "Crushed up aspirin pills. I confronted the two of them about it later. Sasuke had the cheek to look smug and Naruto just goes, 'What? Sasuke told me they were laxatives!'" Kakashi threw up his hands in the air. "First time I've gotten them to admit to anything."

Sarutobi looked surprised. "Hm, so Sasuke did that?"

"No." Kakashi admitted. "_Naruto _did it. But trust me, it wasn't his idea. Naruto wouldn't think up half of this stuff. He's harmless on his own, but with Sasuke..." he ran a hand through his hair, "Sasuke's a terrible influence on him. Kid's so ecstatic to have a friend that he'll go along with just about anything—and take the fall for it, too. You know how he is. Naruto wants acknowledgement, and God only knows what Sasuke wants. It's a win-win situation for the both of them."

Kakashi closed his eye and took a deep breath to steady himself. He was quiet for several minutes before he looked back up at the desk. "Hokage-sama."

"Yes?"

"I think he might seriously be trying to kill me."

Sarutobi nodded, identifying Sasuke as the unspoken 'he' in question. "The evidence does seem to be pointing in that direction, yes."

"I have no idea what I did to make him hate me so much. I probably should never have children," Kakashi mused, scratching his chin lightly. "Aren't there laws against these kinds of things?"

"What kinds of things?"

"You know. Trying to kill your jonin instructor."

Sarutobi rubbed his forehead. "Can you prove it, outside of their off-handed confession?"

He had him there, Kakashi frowned. "Well, can't we send them back to the Academy at least? Revoke their genin status?"

"It's too late for that—you've already passed them."

"I can't for the life of me remember why."

"They've successfully completed all missions assigned to them."

"I suppose..."

"And they show up to training."

Kakashi laughed at that. "Half of the time, if I'm lucky."

"Only half?" Sarutobi raised an eyebrow.

"Well..."

"That's what I thought. I know it's difficult, Kakashi. You're talking to the man who apprenticed Orochimaru, after all. But these kids need guidance... especially those two. Sasuke's had a troubled life. He's been traumatized and he hasn't had a real role model in a long, long time. You're just going to have to win his trust. Get to know him a little. Let him get to know you. Build up some rapport with him."

"How am I supposed to build rapport with someone who wants to kill me?"

Sarutobi pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "You won't be getting anywhere with that attitude, to start with. If you're having difficulties getting them to listen, try giving them an incentive. They need to crave your approval."

"Incentive? You mean bribery? Tried that, doesn't work."

"Figure it out on your own time," The Third Hokage grabbed the nearest stack of papers on his desk and began to sift through them, signalling the end of the conversation. "Don't you have somewhere else to be right now?"

Kakashi glanced at the clock on the Third's desk. "Mm. The Third Training Ground... about two hours ago."

"Wonderful. Feel free to let yourself out."

* * *

After eating a late breakfast and giving himself about an hour to sober up—he hadn't had too much to drink—Kakashi wandered over to the training grounds and found exactly what he had expected to find: Sakura, sitting cross-legged in the grass, alone.

This was the game they'd been playing ever since the bell test.

Unless a mission was assigned, Sasuke and Naruto outright wouldn't show up at the designated meeting place, at all. The first time, Kakashi wondered if they were just late, as a sort of revenge for his earlier tardiness—but no. They never came. The second time, Kakashi spent nearly an hour hunting the two of them down thanks to Naruto, who was useless at stealth during missions, but when the task was playing hooky he was nowhere to be found (Kakashi attributed that to the years of experience he had evading ANBU operatives). Kakashi had dragged them back to the training grounds, where Sakura had been left waiting, and punished the duo with a grueling, monotonous training regimen that would have made Maito Gai proud.

When their tardiness became a daily routine that left Sakura repeatedly sitting by herself for hours on end, Kakashi offhandedly remarked that she'd be better off bringing something to read next time—lo and behold, the next non-mission day she came armed with a small stack of magazines (most of them had disturbingly effeminate civilian singers on the covers, but she was twelve and who was he to judge, really).

So Kakashi wasn't surprised to find his only non-delinquent student engrossed in the pages of her newest teen magazine, utterly unconcerned that none of her teammates had shown up to keep her company for the last three hours.

"Why, if it isn't my favorite student."

"Oh, hello," Sakura flipped a page, her eyes never leaving the magazine. After a moment she added, "I'm practically your only student, Kakashi-sensei."

"Semantics, semantics."

Well, didn't he sound cheerful today? Relatively speaking, anyway. She set her magazine down on her thighs and raised her head to look up at him. He was alone. "You haven't found them yet?"

"I'm not in the mood to play hide and seek today," He waved a hand dismissively. "Let them do whatever. I don't really care."

"Oh," Sakura tried not to sound too put-out. So she waited all this time for nothing, then? "Should I just go home?"

"Ah, that won't be necessary. I have something new planned for today."

She perked up at that. "What is it, sensei?"

"Genjutsu training."

* * *

Several miles from the training grounds, Naruto and Sasuke were loitering on the roof of a small building on the outskirts of town, their presence mostly blocked from sight by a multi-storied apartment complex.

"Kakashi-sensei's probably going crazy right about now!" Naruto was lying down with his hands under his head as he cackled softly to himself. "I wish they'd just give us harder missions already. You don't see real ninjas chasing cats and pulling weeds all day."

Sasuke ignored him and toyed with the idea of implementing the next step in his 'destroy Kakashi's already fragile psyche' plan (which would be followed by his 'drive the Hokage to suicide' and 'trick the Councilors into killing each other' plans, although he hadn't quite worked out the details of those yet) but for the moment he was pleased with having forced Kakashi to stay at Konoha's budget inn for the better part of the week.

He hadn't been able to really enjoy the satisfaction, though, and instead had begun to feel increasingly anxious. Every day that passed brought them a step closer to their first real mission in the Land of Waves. Over the past few weeks, he had spent an inordinate amount of time training in secret at night—building up his chakra stores, perfecting his chakra control, attempting to master chidori. All of which were still a work in progress, he was loath to admit.

"Oh yeah," Naruto sat up. "I got the powdered milk and food dye last night. _Loads _of it. It's gonna be great."

"Hn." Sasuke continued throwing shurikens at the nearest billboard—a tan, bikini-clad woman with wavy brown hair was posing seductively on the beach. Sasuke wasn't sure what it was advertising. He aimed for the eyes, mouth, and nose of the girl on the poster before eventually moving his targets towards her vitals. When he ran out of shurikens, he jumped over to the billboard, retrieved them, and repeated the process.

Sasuke had been doing that for the better part of an hour as Naruto sat around and chatted about whatever popped into his mind. Eventually, Naruto realized that Sasuke wasn't planning on implementing some devious prank, and that he was perfectly content standing there vandalizing the advertisement. Were they just... hanging out?

Is that what friends did?

"I wonder what Kakashi-sensei was going to teach us today."

He heard Sasuke make a rude noise, followed by the _thud-thud-thud_ of several shurikens hitting their target. "When does he ever teach us anything?"

Naruto shrugged. He had a point. "Well, he trains with us, at least."

"Not really. He explains the basics, watches us for a bit and then wanders off to read his stupid, perverted books." Sasuke threw another shuriken, which hit the billboard a bit louder than the others as it collided. "We don't need him to train, anyway. I already know what to do."

"Kakashi-sensei said something about teaching us how to channel chakra though..."

"He was just trying to get us to show up. It was a bluff. And I already know how to do that."

"What, really?" Naruto was wide-eyed.

Sasuke was about to reply with a smug 'of course,' but instead motioned for Naruto to follow him as he dashed off the roof and towards the nearest line of trees, opting to show off his newly perfected tree-walking ability instead.

"That's not fair! Who taught you how, Sasuke?!"

"I told you. I taught myself."

Naruto was openly impressed for a moment before his brows furrowed in concentration. "I bet I can do that too! You'll see. I don't need a teacher either."

Sasuke shrugged. "Probably. They're just holding us back."

"Huh? Who?"

"The village," Sasuke said. "You know Kakashi graduated when he was five-years-old? And my brother was only seven. When was the last time you heard of someone graduating before twelve?"

Naruto didn't respond, and Sasuke walked back up the tree, stopping halfway. "We learned about chakra in school, but Iruka never taught us much of anything about channelling. They even _graduated us _without explaining the real basics of chakra control."

"Hey yeah, you're right!" Naruto scratched his head. He _was _right... right?

"You know why that is, don't you?"

Sasuke was really talkative when he started ranting, Naruto decided. "Uh..."

"They teach us enough to test our potential and if you're lucky enough to be in a clan, you might even know a jutsu or two outside of clones and henges," Sasuke continued. "But you won't learn anything worthwhile until you're a genin. Remember what Kakashi said? About how many people pass?"

Naruto thought for a moment. "Um... that only one out of three students graduate, and that the rest get sent back to school?"

"Right. Who's going to stay in school forever though? Most of them just drop out when they get too old. They'll never be ninjas. They'll get regular jobs and blend in with the rest of civilians," Sasuke sounded disgusted. "They do that for a reason. Imagine if everyone who ever attended Ninja Academy could walk on water, or up walls, or jump from rooftop to rooftop."

"But don't most people who go through the Academy know how to henge?"

He nodded. "Yes, but they can't hold a henge for very long. Without good chakra control and reserves stored up, they'd never be able to perform most jutsus. Everything past the basics isn't written down. It's passed from jonin to genin,"—Sasuke was starting to sound angrier—"It's all a power play. Konoha wants to control us. They teach us how to be strong, how to be ninjas, and then we spend the rest of our lives doing whatever they tell us. We don't have a choice after that. If you decide to leave, they cry missing-nin and you spend the rest of your life on the run from ANBU."

As he finished speaking, the bark underneath his feet cracked and Sasuke was propelled away from the tree, cursing as he flew to the floor.

Naruto watched him quietly, not sure what to think. Ninjas were created and trained to protect the village. Why would they want to leave it? Sure, some of the villagers were hateful and cruel... but once he became Hokage, once they acknowledged him as one of them, everything would be different.

Naruto shook his head and decided he'd ask Iruka-sensei about it later, the next time they went out for ramen. He pushed his thoughts aside and tried to mimic the way Sasuke had focused his chakra into his feet. Thinking he had the hang of it, he sprinted towards the nearest tree and managed to dash up a few steps before falling backwards and landing flat on his back.

"Ow."

"Careful, idiot. You're doing it wrong. You've got to focus your chakra on the soles of your feet. It's about precision..."

Three hours later, Naruto managed to make it ten steps up before he lost control of his chakra levels, but he was grinning as he fell.


	6. Land of Waves

**Chapter 6: Land of Waves**

* * *

After successfully capturing the demon-spawn Tora for Madam Shijimi, the members of Team Seven stood at the center of the Hokage's vast office, awaiting new orders when Naruto finally broke down.

"No, I wanna go on a real mission! Something challenging and exciting! Not this little kid stuff!" He punctuated each statement with an emphatic wave of his arms.

Following this, Sarutobi launched into a detailed explanation about ranked missions. Naruto sulked on the floor and tuned him out entirely, right before demanding to be treated like an adult instead of a child—at which point all of the seasoned shinobi in the room collectively rolled their eyes.

Kakashi watched as the Hokage took a long drag of his pipe and noted with a sinking feeling that the old man seemed to be heavily contemplating something. He wouldn't possibly... would he?

"So be it."

He _would_.

"Since you're so determined..."

Kakashi had scooted behind his genins at this point and was frantically mouthing the words 'No, no, god no please don't' as Sarutobi pretended not to notice (although he almost reconsidered upon seeing Sasuke's smirk).

"I'm going to give you a C-ranked mission."

Kakashi dropped his hands in defeat.

Sarutobi briefly introduced the mission and their client was brought in: Tazuna, bridge-builder extraordinaire, fully equipped with sake and a distinct lack of respect upon seeing the age of his newly appointed escorts. The mission details were explained, Team Seven was dismissed, and the genins filed out of the room with Tazuna.

Kakashi hung back after they exited and cleared his throat. "Hokage-sama, can I speak with you for a moment? Alone?"

The Hokage nodded, and Iruka gave a tentative smile as he rose to leave the room, muttering something about telling Team Seven to meet up with Kakashi at the gates.

Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but before he got a word in edgewise Sarutobi cut him off. "I know what you're going to say, and the answer is no."

Kakashi's shoulders slumped.

"It's a simple escort mission. They'll do fine. You've said yourself that they're capable enough on assignments."

"Hokage-sama..."

Sarutobi held up a hand. "The three of them need to be given a little more responsibility. They need the opportunity to show what they're capable of—and the opportunity to see what it means to be true shinobi. Kakashi, they have to be exposed to this sooner or later, or those boys are going to continue pushing your boundaries out of sheer frustration. You just have to give them a chance."

Kakashi had worn his mask for so long that he'd nearly lost the ability to prevent his emotions from being loudly etched across his face. His current expression was screaming 'This mission will somehow end horribly and we're all going to die', but fortunately Sarutobi couldn't see through his mask.

"If you say so. We'll leave shortly, then."

If there was even the slightest possibility of something going wrong, it would. Kakashi prepared for the worst.

* * *

"I can't believe we're finally getting a chance to leave!" Naruto gushed. "Do the other countries look just like Konoha? Hey Sasuke, I wonder what the Land of Waves is like. Have you been there before?"

"No."

"Me neither!"

". . ."

"It's an island, right? Are there ninjas there too? There must not be, if they're coming to us for help. Why's it called the Land of Waves, anyway?"

"Because-"

"_Ooh_, oh! I get it! Waves, like waves in the water!"

Naruto hadn't stopped chattering since they had departed earlier that day. He clashed with Tazuna several times within the first hour but was easily redirected and kept most of his rambling aimed at Sasuke, who for the most part seemed to be only half-listening.

At one point, Kakashi began speaking about the different hidden villages and Kages to Sakura, who was the only one visibly interested. Sasuke was pretty sure that Naruto's mind was in an entirely different world judging from his wide-eyed gaze and frequent gestures for Sasuke to look at something inconsequential in the scenery.

When they finally passed the infamous puddle, Sasuke was almost giddy with anticipation—well, as giddy as an Uchiha could get. The demon brothers from Mist moved quickly, wrapping Kakashi's substitution in chains and tearing it to pieces as his teammates stood back in frozen horror. Sasuke watched the scene play out with clinical detachment, wholly unmotivated to do anything outside of observe. It wasn't as if they were in any real danger, and frankly, he was a little irritated that Kakashi would trick a group of new genin into thinking he was dead during their first encounter with enemy ninjas. Enemies who were above their skill level, to boot.

Looking back, though, Kakashi's ploy was obvious. Sasuke snorted as the demon brothers wrote Kakashi off without a second thought and moved in towards Naruto. What kind of pathetic chunins were these, exactly? Did they honestly think that Kakashi would be that easy to take out? Sure, he didn't have a name-tag that read 'Hello, I am a jonin' but he was leading around a group of twelve-year-olds... and it didn't take a genius to identify a jonin-genin squad. If they had observed them for any decent length of time, they would have heard Kakashi rambling on about Kages, something anyone who wasn't fresh out of the Academy would have already known.

Sasuke could take them both on, he decided. Hell, he could have done it the first time around, if Kakashi hadn't rudely interrupted him. Well, probably.

When the brothers appeared behind Naruto, Sasuke concluded that trapping their chains to the tree and dislodging them from their weapons with two kicks to the face was still a sound strategy this time around. After the chains broke free, Sasuke landed and the two brothers ground their feet into the dirt and prepared to dart off in different directions. Sasuke was faster than last time, though, and far more motivated. He tailed the nearest brother, and although he didn't manage to land a hit, he caught the mist ninja's attention. Rather than flying towards Naruto, the chunin readied his poisoned claw towards Sasuke instead.

This was his chance to test himself, Sasuke thought, a chance to see if his training regime was working.

The demon brother's claw was inches away from its target when Sasuke disappeared. The chunin stopped briefly, confused, as Sasuke reappeared behind him and kicked out from below, launching him into the air. Sasuke followed him and with a series of kicks, smashed the mist ninja into the floor with Lion Barrage. The ground underneath the brother's form was cracked, and the man himself was left unconscious.

Sasuke let out a short sigh and swelled with pride. Although he adamantly told himself that he had been completely confident his Lion Barrage was going to work, Sasuke was still a little relieved. Stupid or not, a chunin was a chunin.

Satisfied, Sasuke turned to find that the remaining chunin had targeted Tazuna. Sakura had jumped in front of him: she shakily held out a kunai for a moment before Sasuke saw her make a short series of handsigns. The enemy ninja suddenly veered off to the right, looking disoriented as he moved. He paused to reorient himself, but before he managed to move again, Kakashi appeared and knocked him out.

"Sorry for not helping out right away," Kakashi surveyed the scene and eyed the unconscious ninja near Sasuke. "Hm. Not bad."

He collected both bodies—they'd be waking up soon, no doubt—and prepared to tie them up. Looking briefly over his shoulder, he added, "Good job Sakura, Sasuke. But," his eyes focused on Sasuke, "Although taking out the enemy is crucial, the client's safety is more important. Your first priority should be to protect Tazuna."

Sasuke folded his arms in annoyance. "Sakura had it covered."

"Hn."

_Hn_. He took out a chunin—a _chunin!_—in his (supposedly) first real battle, and all he got was a 'Hn.' And Kakashi even managed to find something to complain about, too (although he was clearly grasping at straws).

"By the way, Sasuke. Where did you learn that move?"

Sasuke stared at Kakashi for several seconds before he scowled and turned away from him, refusing to acknowledge the question.

"Right. Of course," Kakashi's voice was even as he resumed dealing with the mist-nin.

Glancing towards his two teammates, Sasuke noticed Naruto kneeling on the floor, overcome with shock and the beginnings of self-loathing. Sasuke considered goading Naruto out of his stupor, but he was too annoyed with Kakashi's apparent disapproval to really care.

Sasuke turned towards Sakura instead and gave her a calculating look. "What jutsu did you use earlier?"

"Oh! You saw, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's grin widened. The pink-haired girl had been smiling ever since Kakashi appeared to dramatically save the day. How annoying—she must have really thought Kakashi had been killed. "It was a genjutsu that affects an enemy's sense of balance and direction, causing disorientation. And it worked! Well, not for very long... It's a C-ranked jutsu, you know," she said proudly. "Kakashi-sensei taught it to me! Normally that level of genjutsu is too difficult for a genin to learn, but because of my chakra control and attention to detail..."

Sasuke turned his head away, having lost interest in the subject about halfway through her explanation. Sakura's smile dropped and she trailed off uncertainly before letting the conversation end.

"This mission is B-rank, if not higher. You lied to us about the details. This wasn't apart of the original arrangement," Kakashi's posture was rigid, and his voice lower than usual.

Tazuna looked appropriately chastised (but said nothing) as the five of them boarded the small boat set to take them into the Land of Waves.

Sasuke took the spot at the tail end of the vehicle, leaving Naruto on his right and Sakura acting as a buffer between him and Kakashi.

Tazuna sat down near Kakashi, and after the boat began wading into the mist, he began detailing the real circumstances behind his troubles. Gato, billionaire smuggler. Transportation monopoly. Hired missing ninjas. Operation prevent completion of the bridge.

"If you end the mission when you drop me ashore, there will be no bridge," Tazuna said. "They'll assassinate me before I reach home. But don't feel bad about that! Of course, my sweet little grandson will be upset. He'll cry, 'Grandpa, I want my grandpa!' Oh well, it's not your fault."

Kakashi listened with both eyes closed, seemingly exhausted. He was quiet for several minutes before he spoke. "I'm sorry, but we're just not equipped to deal with this. We'll have another—more experienced—team sent to replace us. I'm certain the Hokage would be willing to negotiate the cost, and if nothing else, a payment plan could be-"

"We'll help." Sasuke cut him off.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!"

Kakashi's eye snapped open. "Sasuke, this isn't your call. We're going back. You aren't ready for this kind of mission."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll be killed for sure if you leave," Tazuna said. "Don't you care? Even your team wants to help me."

"We wouldn't want them to think poorly of Konoha, would we?" Sasuke added, inwardly amused at the idea of anyone thinking of Konoha in a flattering light.

Kakashi held his breath, conflicted: he didn't really want to abandon Tazuna to the wolves, but Sasuke's blatant insubordination in front of a client couldn't be tolerated. Could those three honestly handle themselves on this mission..?

Sakura sensed Kakashi's hesitation and tugged lightly on his sleeve. "Do you really think we're not ready for this, Kakashi-sensei? I mean, you're with us, so I'm sure we'll be okay," she smiled, but Kakashi was silent, and her eyes darted towards Sasuke as she glanced back and forth between the two. Sakura lowered her voice marginally and continued, "Remember what you told us before? Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum." She paused briefly to let her words sink in. "It sounds like Tazuna really needs our help..."

Sakura let her voice trail off as Kakashi contemplated her words.

"It does seem that way," Kakashi clenched his jaw, turning towards Tazuna with a feigned smile. "I guess it can't be helped. We'll continue escorting you."

* * *

"There!" Naruto jumped as he launched a shuriken into a nearby bush. "No, wait, he's over there!"

After docking, the group continued towards their destination. The tension in the air was noticeably thicker than earlier, and Naruto was hopping ahead of them, throwing shurikens left and right at random plant life until Sakura walked over and smacked him. He _did _manage to scare a white rabbit out of hiding, though, and as soon as Kakashi's Zabuza senses started tingling, the jonin let out a harsh, "Duck!" and everyone hit the floor as something large and sharp sailed over their heads.

Finally.

Momochi Zabuza, Sasuke smirked at the figure perched above them on the hilt of his trademark sword.

It was odd seeing Zabuza's Executioner's Blade in the hands of someone other than Suigetsu, and Sasuke briefly wondered where his old teammate was at this age. Was he back at home? Or was he with Orochimaru, caged up like an animal as he was subjected to Kabuto's invasive experiments?

"If it isn't Kakashi, the Sharingan user," Zabuza said.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as Kakashi revealed his Sharingan and ordered to them to get in formation around Tazuna.

Zabuza began talking about the Sharingan and Kakashi's infamous place in the Bingo Book, and Sasuke watched with disgust as they all began fawning over the man who knew over 1000 jutsus. As if he copied those all on his own! The Sharingan belonged to the Uchihas. Not the Hatakes. It belonged to _him_.

Sasuke was so busy brooding that he almost missed it when Zabuza vanished and the area around them filled with mist. The air hung heavy with silence as they waited for Zabuza to attack, and this time, the killing intent left Sasuke unphased. It was nothing he hadn't exuded himself before. Sasuke wondered if Kakashi had ever noticed the same kind of lethal intent coming from him, or if his chakra levels were still too low to be noticeable. He certainly felt like killing Kakashi frequently enough...

Zabuza struck, and Sasuke watched the two jonin-level ninjas engage in a short but heated battle. His emotions fluctuated accordingly: Sasuke was resentful when Kakashi matched Zabuza's moves with the Sharingan, amused when Zabuza trapped Kakashi in a water prison, and decidedly less amused when Zabuza's water clone focused on the rest of the team.

"Get Tazuna and run! You can't win against him!"

Sasuke had already moved to grab Tazuna before the words even left his mouth. He could take a chunin, but not a jonin, and it was already grating on his nerves to watch Kakashi protect them from someone he could have easily taken down if he had been back in his own time. The last thing he felt like doing was being punched in the face by a water clone. His ego was bruised enough. Besides, Kakashi would be fine. Probably. And if he wasn't, well, who was Sasuke to complain?

Unfortunately, Sasuke's retreat was interrupted as Naruto took the opportunity to charge straight at the water clone. Really, he should have seen this coming...

"I'm not gonna let you steal the spotlight this time, Sasuke!"

One knock to the floor, and Naruto was back up again, loudly announcing that Zabuza was looking at the next future Hokage.

"Sasuke, come here. I have a plan!"

Sasuke sighed before walking towards Naruto. He didn't really want to help Kakashi, and he didn't much care about Tazuna or his stupid bridge, but if there was even a remote possibility of Zabuza coming after them, then it couldn't be helped. Besides, he had successfully avoided being pummeled by Zabuza this time around, right?

* * *

Wrong, Sasuke thought as he coughed up another mouthful of blood. They had successfully freed Kakashi from the water prison jutsu, but Sasuke had forgotten the part of the plan that involved him being elbowed in the stomach and stomped on repeatedly. Damned Naruto. Couldn't he have brought out his shadow clones, like, thirty seconds earlier? If Sasuke were a more paranoid person, he _might _have accused Naruto of waiting to divulge his transforming-into-the-shuriken plan just long enough to watch Sasuke get pulverized. He was perfectly well-adjusted, though, so he kept the thought to himself.

The fight ended when Zabuza, resembling a well-used pin-cushion, was stabbed in the neck with a senbon. Acutely aware of Zabuza's fake-death, Sasuke moved to jump in and slit his throat for good measure (because seriously, fuck that guy) but a masked Haku beat him to the body. Kakashi approached the boy? girl? (Sasuke still couldn't tell) and the two began conversing. Haku played him like a fiddle: Kakashi didn't seem to suspect a thing.

Haku tilted his mask and for a moment Sasuke felt their eyes meet. He remembered frosted mirrors, and bleeding to death on a cold, hard floor, his body filled with needles. The first in a long line of failures, losing against a stronger opponent—one that Naruto was able to later defeat.

"In this world, there are kids who are younger than you and yet stronger than me," He heard Kakashi tell Naruto.

Sasuke watched in silence as Haku picked up Zabuza's limp form and thought, yes, there were. And Sasuke was one of them. Haku's Ice Release was nothing but a cheap Kekkei Genkai. His win was a fluke.

He continued to stare at the same spot long after Haku had disappeared, too engrossed to notice that he had activated his Sharingan.

* * *

**A/N:** Whelp, it's (almost?) time to jump off the kind-of-canon-train and head into uncharted territory. I might list Kakashi as the second character/character B, but I haven't decided yet. Thank you for the feedback! I'll try to keep with the weekly updates. See you next week~


	7. Chekhov's Gunman

**Chapter 7: Chekhov's Gunman**

* * *

"Alright, training starts now," Kakashi said. "First, we'll begin with a review of chakra..."

What a complete waste of time, Sasuke groaned inwardly. This was why he didn't bother coming to training sessions. Too bad they were stuck in the middle of nowhere for a week.

After Zabuza's disappearance, Kakashi had promptly fallen to the floor in a dead faint, and the four of them had dragged his sorry form to Tazuna's house. He later informed the group that Zabuza's death had been a fake (big shocker there, Sasuke thought. Did he figure that out before or after he passed out?) and that both jonins would be recovering from the fight for a week. The next morning, the three genins woke up early and followed a limping, crutch-wielding Kakashi at a gratingly slow pace to a clearing in the forest near Tazuna's to begin their training.

"We already know about chakra," Sasuke said, stuffing both hands in his pockets as he sullenly stared the forest floor.

"Yeah! Catra!" Naruto gave a thumbs up to Kakashi.

Or maybe they didn't.

"_Chakra_," Kakashi corrected. "Sakura, why don't you take this one?"

"Right! Naruto, listen up, because this is important," Sakura pulled out a scroll and began lecturing.

Sasuke pretended to pay attention for a good thirty seconds before gave up and walked away in a huff.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kakashi sounded surprisingly patient this morning.

He ignored their instructor in favor of focusing his chakra and walking straight up the trunk of the nearest tree. Sasuke stopped a few feet up and tilted his head back to give Kakashi a bored look.

"I see," Kakashi said.

"Hey, sensei! I can do that too! Watch!" Naruto said excitedly as he copied Sasuke's movements and bounced up the tree next to him. Unlike Sasuke, he ran all the way up to the nearest branch and sat down. "And I'm better at it, believe it!"

Sasuke twitched, but didn't say anything.

"Hm. So all three of you are familiar with tree climbing already. Well, that makes my life easier."

Noticing Sasuke's questioning look, Sakura wrung her hands together and nervously glanced at Kakashi. "You see, in order to learn that genjutsu, I needed to enhance my chakra control... and my stamina. Mostly my stamina," she sighed. "He would have taught you guys too if you had bothered to show up. Right, Kakashi-sensei?"

Their instructor grunted noncommittally. "Sure. Anyway, you know what to do, then. All three of you can work on improving both your control and stamina through this exercise. Don't let me keep you," Kakashi halfheartedly waved one of his crutches before hobbling away and leaning against the largest tree in the clearing. He pulled out Icha Icha Paradise and began reading without giving them a second thought.

Naruto grinned and skidded down the tree as fast as he could manage with a few chakra-imbued steps, halting in front of Sasuke. "I bet I can stay up longer than you this time! Just watch!"

He moved to run back up the tree, but Sasuke held up a hand and motioned for him to stop. "Not here."

With that, Sasuke flipped down from his position on the tree and flickered out of sight, with Naruto right on his heels.

Kakashi heard Sakura sigh to herself, and from the corner of his eye saw her standing alone in the forest clearing, staring longingly at the spot where her two teammates had been mere moments ago.

"That's one party I don't think I'm invited to." Sakura's head was tilted forward, causing hair to obscure most of her face—her posture reminded him of a wilted flower. She was pouting slightly, too, although it was likely unintentional.

"I doubt you're missing out on much."

"So they learned tree climbing on their own, huh?" Sakura said. "Why didn't they tell me? Why am I never invited?"

Kakashi flipped a page and shrugged. "I don't know. Do you and Ino invite Naruto to your slumber parties?"

Sakura whirled around with a glare. "We don't have slumber parties! We're _ninjas _now!"

"Ninjas, huh? If that's the case, maybe you should be focusing more on your training and less on your social life."

"Yeah, yeah..."

* * *

The week passed uneventfully. Sasuke didn't bother with tree climbing; it could have helped some, he supposed, but he refused to do it on principle. Instead, he dedicated the majority of his time to perfecting his signature technique. Naruto hung around nearby, doing... well, Sasuke wasn't entirely sure. He still had the tendency to fall out of trees at seemingly random intervals, but he was hopping around quite a bit and seemed overly excited but eager to prove himself. Sasuke hadn't yet figured out exactly who Naruto was so desperate to prove himself to. Was it himself?

He caught Naruto watching him practice chidori, but he was easily thrown off with one of Sasuke's trademark glares. Naruto had even pestered Sasuke to teach him a few times, to which Sasuke rebuked with a harsh, "Get your own jutsu," and followed with a, "You need better chakra control first, anyway. So get lost."  
**  
**By the end of the week, success was so close he could taste it, and Sasuke was itching to test it out in battle. Naruto was still working on the concept of "self-restraint" and managed to exhaust his chakra supply nearly every night. It wasn't surprising that on the morning of the last day, Naruto was dead to the world. Just like last time.  
**  
**Kakashi must have been feeling generous that morning, because he let Naruto sleep in and only dragged Sakura and Sasuke with him to escort Tazuna to the bridge. This was the first morning Sasuke had accompanied them: his grand tour of the construction site featured the image of Tazuna's workers strewn about the bridge, some unconscious, some groaning, their tools scattered around their bodies.

"What happened? Someone was here, someone got to them!"

At the sound of Tazuna's cry, a thick mist began ebbing towards them.

"Sasuke, Sakura! Get ready!"

"Kakashi-sensei, it's Zabuza, isn't it? This is his hidden mist jutsu."

Kakashi didn't bother confirming. The mist closed in on them as the three shinobi tightly gathered around Tazuna.

"Sorry I kept you waiting, Kakashi. I see you've still got those brats with you."

Zabuza's low, gravelly voice echoed through the mist as he summoned a stream of clones—Kakashi nodded towards Sasuke and the latter let out an unimpressed grunt before taking them out with ease."Oooh, so you could see they were water clones, huh? The brat's improving. Looks like you've got a rival, Haku."

"So it seems."  
**  
**"Well, well. So I had it right. It was all an act. An act.. with a cute little mask," Kakashi said, smug.

Sakura shook her head in agreement. "He's got some nerve facing us again after pulling that trick."

Kakashi opened his mouth to continue, but Zabuza cut him off. "Haku, you know what to do."

The younger shinobi nodded silently before spinning towards Sasuke in what looked like a mini-tornado. The mist dispelled around Haku as he headed for them and Sasuke smirked as he jumped out to meet him head on.

After several brief clashes of kunai, Sasuke listened expectantly for Haku to speak, but the boy remained silent. He seemed content to simply block Sasuke's oncoming assaults. Confused, Sasuke waited for Haku to try and catch him in a deadlock—it wouldn't work this time—but it never came. Haku repeatedly parried and backed off, on the defensive, never making a move to land more than superficial hits. Sasuke's blows became increasingly frantic as his indignation grew: why the hell wasn't Haku attacking? He should have used his secret jutsu, a thousand needles of death by now. Why was Haku just playing with him? Did he think Sasuke wasn't worth the effort?  
**  
**Kakashi noticed Haku's movements and easily discerned the true intent behind them: his vision was still clouded, but he heard the collision of steel on steel become faint as the pair moved farther and farther away. His muscles tensed as he prepared to follow them, but Zabuza held out a hand and blocked his path. "Not so fast. If you try to help him, I'll kill the other two in a heartbeat."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes and the two stared each other down for several seconds. Suddenly, Zabuza started laughing. "Or that's what I would have said. Fortunately for you, I'm no longer under Gato's employment. We're not here to fight you."

Kakashi nearly dropped his kunai. "What?"

Sakura echoed his sentiment, and Tazuna was staring dumbly at the mist-nin from behind.

"It turns out that Gato's going to show up here not too long from now with an army of thugs," Zabuza said. "They're coming here to kill me. Guess my services are a little too expensive for him."

Kakashi continued to gape at him, saying nothing.

"They're lying in wait as we speak. Gato's planning on taking me out after our fight. Either you win and I'm dead... or I win and in my weakened state, he'll have me killed. Figures I'll be easily disposed of," Zabuza scoffed, and stopped speaking to glare off into the distance. "As a favor from ninja to ninja, bear with us for a bit. We plan on making this look real. When Gato gets here... well, we've set up a little surprise for him."

This was certainly a turn of events, Kakashi thought. If he was telling the truth. "How do you know that Gato is going to turn on you?"

"A little bird told me. Heh, well... more like a strange old man."

"And you believed him?" Sakura said skeptically, and Kakashi tightened his grip on the kunai in his hand. Tazuna looked baffled, as if he couldn't decide if the change in status quo was a good thing or not.**  
**  
Zabuza just shrugged, looking unconcerned. "His wallet was very convincing. I'm a mercenary. My loyalty goes to the highest bidder. I was going to kill Gato eventually, anyway. As it turns out, my new employer and I have that in common."

Kakashi paused to stare at his figure through the mist. Zabuza was close enough to plainly discern his body language—he had is guard up, but no more than any shinobi would under normal circumstances. "Gato is one of the richest men in the world. What more could someone else possibly offer you?"

"Even if Gato wasn't out to kill me, there are things worth more than money," Zabuza said vaguely, making no move to elaborate. After a moment of silence passed, he added, "What, still don't believe me?"

Kakashi's face said it all. Too bad Zabuza couldn't see it. "You took out all of Tazuna's workers," he pointed out.

"Sorry about that," Zabuza said, not sounding sorry at all.

"It's just... this is highly unusual. Why wait to tell us this? More importantly," Kakashi squinted over Zabuza's shoulder. He couldn't see Sasuke through the mist, and could barely hear their fight. Zabuza's voice had been quiet, and Sasuke hadn't heard their conversation. "Why did you let Haku lead Sasuke away?"  
**  
**"Don't worry about it."

Kakashi raised his weapon.

"We're under orders." When Kakashi didn't lower it back down, Zabuza continued, "My employer said the brat needed to be distracted while we talked. That's all."

"I assume by brat, you mean Sasuke."

Zabuza grunted in response.**  
**  
"Wait, hold up. Your employer knows who we are, and specifically said that Sasuke couldn't hear this conversation?"

The mist-nin scowled. "What's your point?"

"And you didn't stop to ask how, or why?"

"Does this look like the face of a man who cares?"

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"Look, when someone's paying me this much, if they say jump, I jump. It's not that complicated."

This conversation seemed to be going in nowhere fast, Kakashi thought. "Doesn't it go 'They say jump, I say how high?'"

Zabuza looked mildly offended at the thought, and Kakashi sighed.

* * *

At the other end of the bridge, Sasuke was raging. Haku still refused to fully engage him in combat, and there was nothing Sasuke could do about it. Haku was too fast to hit, and he didn't want to risk chidori this early on—he only had enough chakra for one solid attempt.

"Stop playing around and fight me for real!"

Haku said nothing.

There it was again, Sasuke thought. Just another person toying with him. Refusing to take him seriously. Treating him like a child.

Underestimating him.

Everyone always did.

Sasuke burned, and as his Sharingan activated, Haku's eyes narrowed from behind his mask. "You truly mean to harm me. I can feel the killing intent radiating off of you in waves."

As he said this, Haku moved to dodge the arc of Sasuke's blade, and it dawned on Sasuke that he could finally _see_—his eyes were open, his tomoes were developed, and Haku's movements were clear to him at last. Sasuke became elated as he easily tracked Haku's form, and it showed in his movements: Haku wasn't playing anymore—he was barely scraping by.

"I have no choice..." Haku brought up a hand in preparation for forming a handsign.

Sasuke let out a short bark of laughter. "I know all about your kekkei genkai and the crystal ice mirrors, so don't even bother. I can see right through them. If you try it, I'll just dodge everything you throw at me until you're out of chakra."

"You misunderstand, Sasuke."

"I'm done talking!" Sasuke moved to strike again, but suddenly, Zabuza and Kakashi were in his sights: he could see them clearly through the mists. They didn't appear to be fighting. Sakura and Tazuna followed them in tow, stopping several feet from the pair. What were they doing? This didn't make any sense...  
**  
**"Sasuke, stop." Kakashi held out a hand towards him. "They're not here to fight us. Zabuza is here for Gato. This fight is a ploy."  
**  
**What? Sasuke's mind momentarily went blank, but he recovered quickly. What the hell was going on? This was _not _how it was supposed to go. Naruto hadn't even arrived yet. What was that bullshit about not working for Gato? Is that why Haku hadn't been fighting him properly? Is that why he hadn't been treating him like a real opponent?

Sasuke seethed at the thought and attacked with a renewed vigor.

"Sasuke, I said stand down!"

A day ago, they had been enemies. A day ago, Kakashi would have been silently supporting him as he fought tooth and nail to protect their charge. A day ago, Sakura would have been cheering him on from the sidelines instead of staring up at him with concern.

These were missing ninjas: cold-blooded killers for hire who deserved nothing but an early grave. Both had mocked Sasuke, thinking they were stronger than him, but it wasn't true, was it? Sasuke was winning.

In a pointed illustration of his thoughts, Sasuke made a direct hit with Haku's arm. There was a loud rip as his kunai tore through cloth and red rivulets of blood wept through the opening.

"What are you just standing there for, Kakashi? Call the brat off!"

Kakashi opened his mouth once more, but stopped when he saw the achingly familiar blue sparks of electricity flow from Sasuke's hand. Zabuza noticed Kakashi's hesitancy and followed his gaze towards Sasuke; the mist-nin paused briefly before darting past Kakashi, intent on disrupting Sasuke's attack.

"Watch out, Sasuke!" There was an orange blur, and suddenly Naruto was there, blocking Zabuza's path to the fight.

Kakashi barely had time to think, "Oh, shit," before his body moved on its own accord—he made it just in time to slam Naruto out of the way, but he was a fraction too slow and fumbled his block. Zabuza's sword grazed against his side and sliced through his vest.

Everything happened in a matter of seconds: All eyes were on Kakashi, save for Haku, who was staring intently at Zabuza's shrouded form. His mind was reeling with the newfound knowledge of Zabuza's concern for him—the first he'd ever shown—when Sasuke's chidori slammed through his chest.

There was silence on the bridge.

Only the sound of Sasuke's harsh breathing could be heard as he removed his blood-covered fist from the boy's chest, and they watched as Haku fell to the floor in a heap.

"You..." Zabuza's voice faltered. He tried to take a step towards Sasuke, but Kakashi was still blocking his path. Kakashi prepared for the worst: Zabuza's aura was screaming murder. He honestly didn't know what to expect.

They were saved from finding out as a new voice sung through the air.

"You're looking well, Zabuza. What a pity."

Gato.

Zabuza turned to face his ex-employer—Gato was standing at the far end of the bridge, accompanied by a large assortment of thugs. Kakashi relaxed marginally: that much at least was true. Zabuza's new employer knew what he was talking about.

"You see, there's been a slight change of plans..."

Gato stopped mid-speech as Zabuza threw something small and compact—a shuriken, he guessed—in his direction. As it sailed several feet to the left of him, Gato smirked.

"Your aim's off, Zabuza. Pathetic. I-"

Gato didn't have a chance to finish. The moment the shuriken made contact with the floor, a deafening explosion occurred: it had detonated a series of hidden explosives tags, all of which ignited moments after the first through a domino effect. The entire edge of the bridge collapsed, taking Gato and his men with him. Those that didn't die instantly fell screaming and burning into the waters below. **  
**  
"No! The bridge!" Tazuna shook, visibly distressed as he watched in horror as the scene played out before him.

Zabuza turned and gave the bridge builder a cold look. "Looks like it might take you longer to finish it."

"How could you?"

"Would you rather have Gato still alive? Tch..." Zabuza moved to brush imagined dust off of his shirt and turned back to the group—his eyes land on Haku's form and his face darkened. He swallowed hard.

Zabuza silently moved to collect Haku's body and inclined his head towards to Sasuke."You're lucky my employer wants you alive. The next time I see you, you're dead."

For a moment, Sasuke furrowed his brow in mild curiosity. There was no chance to question him, however; without another word, Zabuza vanished in a puff of smoke, taking Haku with him and leaving behind the burning wreckage in his wake.

As soon as Zabuza departed, Kakashi spun towards Sasuke. He grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him away from their teammates. Sakura lifted a hand in protest, but seemed too distraught to verbalize anything, and Naruto just gawked in confusion.

"What the hell was that, Sasuke?"  
**  
**Kakashi waited for a reply, but knew he wasn't going to get one.

"That was chidori. I would know. I'm the one who created it. Where did you learn it?" The grip on Sasuke's shirt tightened. "Did you copy it with the Sharingan? You must have. How, though? I've never shown it to you before."

When Sasuke only glared up at him in response, he went on, "Your recklessness almost got Naruto seriously injured, Sasuke. He could have been killed," A light gust of wind brushed against the wound on Kakashi's side, and he held back a wince. "What were you thinking? Why did you do that?"

Sasuke's voice was quiet and cold when he finally spoke. "I did it because I could. I wanted to test myself."

"You wanted..." Kakashi breathed. "What is _wrong _with you?"

Sasuke watched mutely as Kakashi lifted him up by the collar. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. I don't care. If you want to act like you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself, fine. But when you're on a team, you do what you're told. When I say stop, you stop. When I say put down your weapons, you put down your weapons. When I say don't kill someone because they aren't our enemy, you don't fucking do it!"

Kakashi locked eyes with Sasuke; he stared intently, looking for any sign of remorse, any flicker of any emotion other than apathy. He found nothing. Kakashi wasn't getting through to him. Sasuke heard his words, but he wasn't listening, and Kakashi may as well have said nothing at all.

He let his grip loosen around Sasuke's collar and the younger ninja dropped to the floor. Sasuke took a moment to compose himself and regarded Kakashi with disdain as he waited for the jonin's next move.

Kakashi turned towards Naruto and Sakura. "We're leaving."


	8. Karma Houdini

**Chapter 8: Karma Houdini**

* * *

Sasuke had always considered lying to be the mark of a coward. People lied to others to spare their feelings and lied to themselves to hide from reality.

Growing up, Sasuke never had a reason to lie.

His reality was uncomplicated, his existence straightforward. Become strong, kill his brother. Avenge his family. Restore the Uchiha name.

It was that simple. There was never any hidden agenda. If someone wanted to know what he was doing, he'd tell them—if he felt inclined to do so. If someone asked him what he thought of them, he'd say so, and if the truth hurt too much to handle, then they should never have asked for it in the first place. He'd dismissed the act of lying as a sign of weakness—a sign that someone could not obtain what they needed through their own means. He'd never considered the possibility that lying was an effective tool in its own right... until Itachi.

Now he knew that words were power, and that lies could hurt just as much as the truth.

As Team Seven stood in the center of the Hokage's office, listening in strained silence as Kakashi recounted the details of their mission to Wave, Sasuke knew he had to come up with something. His refusal to speak would be taken as an affirmation of Kakashi's words, and the hard truth wouldn't do him any favors this time around. He was certain that Kakashi would want nothing more than to never lay eyes on Sasuke again, to see his genin forehead protector returned, and for him to be sent back to the Academy. And the worst part, it dawned on him, was that Kakashi might hold just enough influence to make that a reality.

"Pssst, Sasuke."

Sasuke cocked his head and saw Naruto's profile in his peripheral vision. Kakashi was still talking to the Hokage, and they either didn't notice their whispering or didn't seem to care.

"What?"

"Kakashi keeps sayin' things like 'insubordination' and 'noncompliance' and 'unfit for combat'... Geez, what crawled up his butt today?" Naruto scowled. "You think we're in trouble?"

Sasuke shifted uneasily. _We_, he said. As if Naruto thought he did something wrong, too.

"We might be," Sasuke said.

For a moment, Sasuke felt lighter—the situation suddenly didn't seem so dire, the outlook not quite so bleak—and then, noticing the change and the reason behind it, he froze, angry with himself.

Why did everything have to be so difficult for him? What did he do to deserve this, why was he being forced to suffer through demeaning repetitions of his past exploits, and whose idea was it to dangle Konoha and all its travesties in front of him when he could do absolutely nothing about it?

And more importantly, why did Naruto _always_ have to be on his side? Sasuke didn't want him to be. What happened to that one-sided sense of rivalry?

At that moment, Sasuke decided he never wanted to see Orochimaru more.

"Is this true, Sasuke?"

Kakashi had fallen silent and Sarutobi was looking up at them from underneath the rim of his hat. As the older man exhaled, smoke billowed out in clouds of gray before fading into nothing.

"Did you deliberately disobey orders and strike with lethal intent at a non-hostile, leading to the injury of one of your teammates?"

"It was loud. I didn't hear him. And Haku wasn't a non-hostile," Sasuke said after a moment, and Kakashi looked furious—or rather, Kakashi's eye wasn't drooping for once, which meant he was stony-faced and that was _almost _worse than a glaring Kakashi—but nobody spoke.

Sasuke took a deep breath and prepared to give the longest speech of his life (and prayed that he'd never have to do it again).

"I don't know what Zabuza said to the others," Sasuke said. Truth. "Haku had every intention of killing me. He had a kekkai genkai and was preparing to use it. If I hadn't moved to take him out, the others..." He looked at Sakura, long enough for the others to notice, before continuing. "I'm not sorry. I did what I had to do to protect my teammates. We were facing jonin level shinobi, and we couldn't count on Kakashi to save us. We already had to rescue him once on this mission."

"Hm." The Hokage inhaled slowly, his pipe held firmly in place as he savored the smoke. Kakashi _had _mentioned the water prison fiasco earlier, but the jonin had glossed over it.

"If he had killed Zabuza properly in our first fight, this never would have happened. You can punish me if you want but I won't take the blame for Kakashi's mistakes."

"It was loud? You didn't hear me?" Kakashi repeated, astonished. "You heard me alright. You certainly remembered hearing me afterwards."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You-"

The Hokage held up a hand and Kakashi snapped his mouth shut. "I'm hearing two very different stories."

"Of course you are. We're not here to play a game of he-said, she-said, though. As commanding officer, I'm reporting the details of the mission. Not Sasuke."

"You shouldn't speak to the Hokage like that!"

Kakashi turned towards the source of the unwanted voice and spotted a man at the end of the table—a chunin in his early 20s, from the looks of it—who, aside from the sour look on his face, was otherwise unremarkable. A pair of small, rectangular spectacles was perched on the bridge of his nose and his robes were immaculate and freshly pressed. He was also, in Kakashi's opinion, sitting up entirely too straight: the poor guy looked like he had a pole jammed through his spine.

Kakashi wasn't sure how he had missed him the first time around; he must have noticed the man, deemed him unimportant and promptly dismissed his presence.

"What's he doing here?"

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "Fujioka-san is one of my assistants."

Naruto, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, jumped at the opportunity to interrupt. "Hokage, Sasuke's telling the truth! I saw it. Haku was coming right for him, and so was Zabuza and he had no choice, and you know, Sasuke's been practicing that lightning jutsu for a long time and I've never seen him use it on someone before, so it must have been pretty serious," Naruto said this all very fast, and he had moved close enough to the Hokage to slam his hands down onto the desk. "He couldn't have known how much damage it would do. You didn't mean to kill him, did you, Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Sasuke knew _exactly _what chidori would do," Kakashi scoffed. "And if we're going to be interrogating witnesses, perhaps we should be asking someone who was there the entire time."

As he spoke, Kakashi fixed his gaze on Sakura and the girl froze. During the conversation, the token female member of the squad had assumed a hunched position, as if she was trying to fade into the background by making herself as small as possible.

"Sakura?" Kakashi pressed.

Sakura flinched slightly but inched forward. "Well..."

Kakashi was looking at her expectantly. Sakura glanced at her teammates and noticed Sasuke staring at her too, his eyes unwavering and unforgiving, and she found that she couldn't hold his gaze for long.

"We didn't really see the fight with Haku," Sakura's voice sounded mousey, even to herself. She cleared her throat before continuing, "Zabuza didn't tell us about what was going on until after they had engaged in combat... But it's true that Kakashi-sensei ordered Sasuke-kun to stand down."

Sasuke's lips pinched in displeasure. He was still staring at her, and she was sure that he'd never looked at her this much before. Never so much as noticed her before. Sakura felt both pinned down and strangely exposed, and now that she had Sasuke's attention, she wasn't certain that she wanted it after all.

"But..." Sakura bit her lip, "Everything happened so fast. It's... possible that Kakashi-sensei's warning came too late. He might not have heard over all the noise they were making. And when Naruto showed up suddenly as Zabuza moved in, it might have caused him to react without thinking. It could have been just an accident. So... I think you should give Sasuke-kun another chance..."

Kakashi's shoulders slouched, and he looked away from her in disappointment. Sakura sunk further into herself and wondered how she always managed to let everyone down. And if she had only been telling the truth, why did she suddenly feel so dirty?

Sarutobi nodded to himself before addressing the room. "I see. Thank you for your honesty, Sakura. I believe that, in light of the circumstances, Team Seven's actions were appropriate."

Kakashi began to protest, but was silenced by a single look from the Hokage.

"All three genin were thrown into a situation that was far beyond what their training had prepared them for and beyond their capabilities. It is a testament to their skill that you managed as well as you did."

"The only thing _beyond their capabilities _is the ability to follow directions."

"The real problem seems to be a lack of communication and team cohesion," Sarutobi continued, ignoring Kakashi's unsolicited commentary. "This cannot be overlooked any longer, Kakashi. Do what's necessary to fix this—and it _will _be fixed. You can consider yourselves on probation. I'm reducing the amount of missions available, and you'll be limited to D-rank only. I want to see all of you back here in a week. You're dismissed."

Almost as soon as the words left Sarutobi's mouth, Kakashi moved to snatch Icha Icha from his pocket and opened to a random page. He needed the distraction. It wasn't fit to argue with the Hokage in front of genins.

"A little inappropriate to be reading that in front of minors," Fujioka-san was standing near the door now, having moved to escort them out of the room and was eyeing Kakashi's reading material with distaste.

"If you're old enough to kill someone, you're old enough to handle a little nudity, wouldn't you say?" Kakashi said lightly. He heard Naruto snicker from behind him as the genin exited the room.

Fujioka looked appalled at the thought. "I hardly think-"

"Hokage-sama, a word?" Kakashi snapped his book shut, effectively cutting Fujioka off.

Nodding, Sarutobi waved a hand towards Fujioka. "A moment, please."

Fujioka fled from the room, glaring at Kakashi's back as he left.

* * *

The next morning, Kakashi had instructed the three of them to meet him on the bridge overlooking one of the small rivers in town. Sasuke, having been in relatively good mood since yesterday, didn't argue when Naruto suggested actually showing up this time around.

"Hey, how about we get ramen after training today? It's been ages since I've gone to Ichiraku's."

Sasuke trotted a few feet behind Naruto as the blonde spoke, occasionally kicking any particularly offensive looking rocks into the river as they neared the bridge. "It's only been a few weeks."

"Yeah, like I said! Ages!"

"Maybe." Sasuke shrugged.

"Bah, whatever. I bet Iruka-sensei'll treat me to dinner anyway," Naruto stretched his arms out as he spoke, and not for the first time, Sasuke wondered how he managed to stay so carefree, regardless of the circumstances. To be fair, the odds of Naruto fully grasping the repercussions of what happened in Wave was slim at best, but Sasuke was more than a little irked that the blonde didn't seem to be nearly as jealous this time around. Sasuke distinctly remembered hearing a whole lot of "Sasuke thinks he's so cool!" and "I'm gonna be the hero! I'm gonna save the day next time!"—but then again, _last time around_, Naruto hadn't jumped in front of a raging missing-nin for him...

"Eh, is that Sakura? What's wrong with her?"

Sasuke looked up; the bridge was in sight, and both Kakashi and Sakura were already present. Weird, were he and Naruto that late? Usually Kakashi was the last to show up, even with Sasuke's current track record.

Neither of them seemed to notice Naruto and Sasuke in the distance. Sakura was sniffling as she hesitantly rubbed her eyes with one hand and clenched the other tightly to her chest. She looked ashamed, miserable—piteous, even. Sasuke couldn't make out her words, but she appeared to be in the midst of a tearful apology. Kakashi was a few feet away, uncomfortably stiff and seemed more than a little put out (probably because he had no idea what to do with a crying female, not that Sasuke was one to talk).

After Sakura managed to compose herself, Kakashi moved to pat her awkwardly on the head and Sasuke rolled his eyes at the display. Sakura was obviously a people pleaser—she couldn't bear the thought of someone being mad at her, especially if that someone happened to be an authority figure. It was pathetic... and annoying. Sakura _should _have been upset that Kakashi was trying to get Sasuke's genin rank revoked, not upset that Kakashi was mad at her. Why even care what that guy thought at all? It's not like Kakashi ever gave her the time of day in the past. And what was he, like 40 years old? Shouldn't he have retired by now?

Sasuke could feel the telltale signs of resentment starting to build up: the burn in his chest, the tightness in his throat. He shook himself slightly and looked away from the bridge. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"What-" Naruto turned back to look at Sasuke, but he had already disappeared.

* * *

The next few weeks passed by in a blur.

Although their assigned missions were basically child's play, Team Seven's dynamics were more strained than ever. Kakashi was far stricter than before, uncommunicative, and downright unfriendly. After a particularly brutal round of back-to-back exercises—exercises that Sakura was suspiciously exempt from—Sasuke began to suspect that their jonin instructor actually _wanted _them to play hooky. (Naturally following this realization, Sasuke and Naruto's attendance rates skyrocketed.)

They had just completed a myriad of exciting tasks (including but not limited to pulling weeds, raking leaves and shoveling manure) when Naruto decided to start complaining for the fifth time that day. "Kakashi-sensei, when are we going to get another higher ranked mission? I'm sick of this beginner stuff! How are we supposed to prove ourselves when we're just doing chores all day?"

Halting in the middle of the road, Naruto gingerly plucked the headband off of his forehead—the blue material was soaked with a potent mixture of sweat and grime. "Gross. I'm never walking another dog again..."

Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes. Thankfully, that had been the last mission and the group was heading back into town.

"And another thing! I want to learn more jutsus! Something cool, too, like that lightning thing Sasuke can do."

Kakashi cracked open an eye and saw Sasuke staring at him with the faintest hint of a smile and a gleam in his eyes that dared him to say something.

Sakura put her hands up in a placating gesture. "Maybe you should come train with us sometime then, Naruto. It'll be fun..."

"I _do _train!" Naruto said defensively. "And Sasuke didn't need a sensei to learn _his _jutsus!"

Kakashi clenched his jaw, and Sakura cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Well, still. He won't be able teach you any jutsus if you aren't around."

"He wouldn't teach us any even if we were around," Sasuke said, still staring at Kakashi. "He doesn't do anything for us."

"That's not true!" Sakura said, frowning.

"Yes it is. He even skimps out on the lunch bill. And we're _kids_." Technically, anyway.

Sakura let out an indignant 'hmph!' at that. "That's because you two don't do anything to deserve lunch! And he doesn't _always _skip the bill."

"Right."

"It's true! Sometimes he even pays for me too!"

Sasuke didn't bother responding, and instead continued to stare at Kakashi, who had apparently decided he'd had enough of them. "Alright, time to call it a day. I have reports to file."

Kakashi lazily waved his hand before vanishing in a puff of smoke, and Sasuke basked in the knowledge that he had successfully mastered the art of making Kakashi disappear just by looking at him. Clearly, their teacher was well trained.

Sasuke and Naruto continued walking along the path until Sakura moved to intercept them.

"Hey Sasuke-kun... well, that is, I was thinking maybe we could do something together. You know, to improve our teamwork..."

"Sure, Sakura-chan!" Naruto cut in before Sasuke had a chance to speak, "You can come with us if you want. We're going to stop by the Academy."

Sakura's smile fell. "Gee, I don't know. I wouldn't want to be a third-wheel..." she replied before belatedly adding, "Wait, why are you going to the Academy? This isn't another prank, is it? I thought you guys weren't doing that anymore..."  
**  
**It was true enough. Sasuke had grown tired of pranks, and although he wouldn't admit it aloud, Kakashi's patience on that front had reached its boiling point.

Naruto gave an impish grin and rested his hands behind his head as he walked. "It's not _our _prank. More like Konohamaru's..."

As if summoned, Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi flew into view from behind the edge of the wooden fence lining the road and nearly ran headfirst into Naruto.

"Boss!" Konohamaru grinned, adjusting the goggles on his forehead. His two lackeys mimicked the action.

Naruto looked surprised to see them. "H-hey, what are you guys doing here?!" The three preschoolers smiled sheepishly, and Naruto scowled. "You know, I'm a ninja now. I don't have time to play around. You said you had something to show us at the Academy."

"Well, we _were _going to... but we'll have to do it some other time," Konohamaru's tongue poked through the toothless gap in his mouth and he elbowed Moegi.

The girl jumped up excitedly in response. "You see-"

"A few days ago-"

"Our last prank-"

"-was awesome!"

Moegi giggled. "Let's just say it ended with Mori-sensei's pants being caught on fire."

"He even danced back and forth down the halls a few times before running into an empty classroom. I guess Mori-sensei forgot how to put out a fire," Konohamaru snickered. "But that's not the best part!"

"Shut up, Konohamaru! I'm telling the story!"

Konohamaru grumbled unhappily but quieted down.

"Anyway... One of Iruka-sensei's students happened to walk in and she rushed out right away looking really upset and Mori-sensei came running after her and he didn't have any pants on and the next day we had a new teacher!"

"_What_?" Sakura's eyes widened.

Udon rubbed his nose on his sleeve. "I guess the classroom wasn't empty when he ran in there. Iruka-sensei said not to worry about it and that Mori-sensei was just 'on leave' until the school board finished investigating."

Sasuke grunted lightly in approval—these kids were good. Now, if only something like that would work on Danzo... at least until Sasuke could kill him again.

Sakura was less impressed. "That's terrible. You told Iruka-sensei what happened, right?"

"What?" Konohamaru frowned. "Why would we do that? We'd get in trouble!"

Moegi nodded emphatically. "Yeah, rule number three of being a ninja: never let yourself get caught!"

"Rule number four: never admit defeat!"

Sakura gaped at the three new Academy students. "What are you _talking _about? Those aren't even in the ninja handbook! Who told you those?"

Naruto attempted to surreptitiously give Konohamaru a high-five, and Sakura punched him in the face. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You know how seriously they take that sort of thing here. Mori-sensei could be suspended permanently, or worse if any parents complain." She turned towards Naruto, who was cradling the fresh bump on his head. "And _you! _They look up to you! You're a horrible role model."

"What?! Why me? Sasuke does it too, so why don't you ever yell at him?"

Sakura's opened and closed her mouth several times, temporarily at a loss for words until Konohamaru said, "You're such a _bore_. No wonder no one ever wants to hang out with you."

"Why, you-!" Sakura twitched, gave Konohamaru a sound smack, and stomped off in a rage.

"Ow! What was that for?! You're a witch, you know that? And you're ugly too!"

Udon nodded in sympathy and added, "And did you see how wide her forehead is?"

Sakura froze and fixed the three children with the meanest glare she could muster. Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi gulped audibly in unison and moved to scramble away, only to run straight into a boy in a full-body suit who had the strangest markings on his face.

"Do you need something?" Kankuro said, and Sasuke didn't bother trying to hide the smirk that formed at the sight of the puppet master.

The chunin exams had finally arrived.

* * *

"Alright. It is time we chose our candidates for the chunin examinations. To begin, those in charge of the rookie genin step forward."

All jonins—and several noteworthy chunins, Iruka included—not currently deployed had been summoned earlier and stood in militant rows, listening with rapt attention as the Hokage spoke. **  
**  
"Kakashi, Kurenai and Asuma. What do you say? Are there any in your squads you'd recommend who are ready for the exams despite their inexperience?" After a moment, the Hokage continued, "So, Kakashi, you begin."

Kakashi stepped forward and pressed two fingers into his mask as he spoke. "I lead squad Seven. Sasuke Uchiha. Naruto Uzumaki. Sakura Haruno. I, Kakashi Hatake, recommend..." he paused mid-sentence before continuing in a quieter voice, "Hmmm... No, I don't think I will."

Asuma and Kurenai both looked at him in surprise, and Sarutobi made a gesture towards his ear. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear."

"Ah, sorry about that," Kakashi smiled. "I, Kakashi Hatake, recommend none of these genin for the chunin selection exams."

* * *

**A/N**: So, I never understood where KakaIru came from. And then I re-watched episode 19... lol.


	9. When All You Have Is A Hammer

**Chapter 9: When All You Have Is A Hammer  
**

* * *

"Does this hurt, punk?" Kankuro lifted Konohamaru higher by the collar as the younger boy whimpered and gasped for air.

The tanned blonde next to Konohamaru's assaulter sighed and absently checked her nails, and Sasuke had to wonder exactly how many small children Kankuro tormented on a regular basis for her to be _that _disinterested. "Just put him down, Kankuro."

Naruto immediately rose to the bait and began yelling at the sand genin as Sasuke edged further away from the group, keeping most of his attention directed past the fence in anticipation of Gaara's arrival. His interest in the conversation perked up slightly when he heard the puppeteer call Naruto a wimp, and Sasuke almost snorted aloud. Naruto, a wimp? That _wimp _beat an out of control Gaara, so what did that make Kankuro? Pathetic, obviously. A waste of air. Garbage...

Udon and Moegi cried out as Kankuro announced that the lot of them were scrawny weaklings and Sasuke decided he'd had enough. As the puppeteer moved to punch Konohamaru in the face, Sasuke noted that he didn't have a rock this time, but who needed one?

Before Kankuro's fist could connect with its target, the sand genin dropped Konohamaru in shock as a shuriken sliced through the black fabric across his arm, leaving a bright red streak in its wake.

"Damn it!" Kankuro whipped around to face Sasuke, snarling. "The hell is your problem? You wanna start somethin', you wimp?"

Sasuke's face remained blank. "With you? No thanks. You're not worth my time."

Kankuro only growled in response. Nervously, Sakura moved to stand in front of Udon and Moegi, who were cowering next to each other. She seemed torn between fangirlish awe and consternation.

"Sasuke-kun, don't you think that was a little drastic..?" Sakura said. If Sasuke had wanted to provoke the sand genin, he sure made the right call.

Konohamaru—his bravado back with a vengeance now that he was mobile again—scrambled over to Naruto and poked him square in the face. "Naruto, how come you're not cool like Sasuke?"

Naruto squinted at him, a light flush staining his cheeks. "What? I coulda taken that guy on..."

"Liar!"

"It's true!" Naruto took a quick peak at the siblings and noticed the blush on Temari's face as she stared at his dark-haired teammate. Frowning, Naruto jumped to stand in front of the sand genin. "So you think Sasuke's a hotshot and not me too, is that it?"

"You've got to be kidding me..." Temari sighed, and Kankuro clenched his jaw, eyes still locked with Sasuke's.

"Sasuke's not that cool!" Naruto crossed his arms sulkily and glared at the floor. "Even if he does have all the catchy lines... and the fangirls, and those really awesome jutsus he won't teach me. And I guess his hair does do that cool flip-thing in the back..." He paused long enough to run a hand through his hair self-consciously. "That's why all the girls like him better. And you!" Naruto jabbed a finger in Temari's direction. "You have a crush on him too, don't you?!"

Temari raised an eyebrow. "No, but I'm starting to think that you might."

Horrified, Naruto began spouting off a flurry of incoherent denials and Kankuro finally managed to shake himself out of his stupor.

"Not worth your time, huh?" Kankuro grinned humorlessly and began pulling the bandaged puppet off of his back.

Temari's eyes widen at the gesture. "Kankuro, wait-"

"Kankuro. Back off." A deep, distinctly masculine voice called out from the sidelines, and Sasuke froze. Gaara. Even knowing the sand rat was scheduled to pop up, Gaara still managed to sneak up on him.

"You're an embarrassment to our village. Have you forgotten the reason we came all the way here?"

Gaara was poised upside-down on the largest branch of the tree just outside the fence, looking as calm and collected as ever. Just like last time.

Kankuro looked stricken at his brother's arrival. "Uh.. hey Gaara... I know but _he _attacked... just look at-"

"And you should have dodged. So shut up or I'll kill you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Kill his brother? Maybe he would have believed it at one time, but Sasuke knew better now. Gaara was all talk.

"Sorry... I was totally out of line..." Kankuro grimaced slightly; the gash on his arm was superficial but still bled freely.

Streams of sand surrounded Gaara and coalesced into him as he teleported in front of Kankuro.

The redhead glanced at Sasuke but made no move to apologize. To his brother, he said, "Let's go. We didn't come here to play games."

"Yeah..." Kankuro glared at Sasuke from over Gaara's shoulder.

The two opposing genin teams engaged in a brief but heated stare down before Gaara, apparently having lost interest in the macho display, pivoted and strolled in the other direction as both Temari and Kankuro hastily moved out of the way before following suit.

Sasuke looked briefly over at Naruto, who had resumed animatedly trying to convince Konohamaru that he was really, totally the coolest ninja ever, and silently lamented his lack of groveling lackeys. Seriously, how did he get stuck with the touchy-feely fangirls who had no concept of personal space while Gaara got the flunkies? Life really wasn't fair.

Sakura, having decided that she was unsatisfied with this new turn of events, proceeded to stomp towards the newcomers in a huff. "Just what do you think you're-"

"They're here for the Chunin Exams," Sasuke cut her off, and she looked at him in surprise.  
**  
**Temari nodded as she pulled out her chunin exam registration card and thrust it into the air. "That's right. We're sand genin and as you can see, we _do _have permission to be here."

"Chunin exams?" Naruto blinked. "What's that? I've never heard of anything like that."

Konohamaru looked up dubiously at his role model. "Those are the exams every genin has to take to graduate to be a chunin."

"Oh, well why didn't you say so?"

"I didn't think I'd have to... I'm just a kid. Geez, Naruto, don't you know anything?"

Gaara looked back towards Sasuke and their eyes met once more. The sand jinchuriki had always been perceptive, though, and Sasuke wondered if he would notice something off in his own gaze. But no, there was no hint of recognition in Gaara's eyes. Only the same cold, fierce malice; the same darkness that Sasuke felt consuming himself time and time again. Once, Sasuke had been convinced those eyes were evil. He could almost hear Gaara's voice in his head, clear as the day they last spoke at the Kage Summit before coming to blows with one another. **  
**  
_**"You have the same eyes as me... eyes that long for power, eyes filled with hatred and murderous intent."**_

What did Gaara really know about longing for power, though? The redhead's sand was swirling lazily around in the air, his absolute defense—a gift that would only get stronger with time. It took Sasuke years of sweat and blood to achieve that kind of power. He sacrificed everything, he cut every tie he could to obtain Susanoo, and for what? His double mangekyos were gone, replaced with two measly tomoes and he had nothing to show for it.

Gaara knew nothing of dedication, nothing of sacrifice. He'd look Sasuke straight in the eye and tell him that they were the same, even as his two siblings—his _family_—stood by his side. They were nothing alike, even now. Give him a few years, and...  
**  
**_**"Your eyes are still the same..."**_

But Gaara's wouldn't be.  
**  
**Without another word, Sasuke jumped the fence and flickered away, not bothering to ask for Gaara's name or wait to give the redhead his own.

Gaara didn't matter any more than Kankuro did.

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, Sasuke's excitement mounted in anticipation of Kakashi's announcement regarding the Chunin Exams. On the third day—as the three genins assisted in unloading a delivery of goods to one of Konoha's general stores—it occurred to Sasuke that in the past, Kakashi had presented their application forms the morning after their encounter with Gaara.

Not three days later.

His nervous anticipation instantly changed to suspicion and ultimately impatience. Deciding that he was done waiting for Kakashi, Sasuke casually dropped a comment or two about their participation in the Chunin Exams to Naruto. The not-so-subtle prodding was more than enough to prompt the bright-eyed blonde into action, and as soon as their D-class mission was completed and Kakashi reappeared to retrieve his genin team, Naruto rounded on their instructor with a string of rapid-fire questions.

Kakashi's shuffling steps wavered momentarily in response to the blonde's inquiries before he came to a halt in the middle of the road. "Ah, about that. Any genin with at least eight missions under their belt qualifies, but most have double that amount before they're nominated. This may come as a surprise, but it's been five years since first year genins were entered into the chunin exams..."

A cold feeling washed over Sasuke. "What are you saying?"

Kakashi sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck in agitation. "What I'm saying is that I did not nominate you."

Naruto and Sakura remained silent, and Kakashi heard Sasuke's breathing hitch.

"What?" Sasuke said, his voice suspiciously calm.

"Why wouldn't you nominate us, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto whined, flailing his arms angrily. "I'm ready, I really am! This is my chance to prove myself! Why're you so mean?"

This was a conversation Kakashi had been hoping to avoid. Just his luck that Naruto would be completely in the dark about the basics of chakra control but conveniently knew about the Chunin Exams. That boy really did have selective hearing... "Look, you've only been genins for a couple of months now. You'll have a long, long time ahead of you to enjoy being chunins. It's best not to rush things-"

"You can't do this to me. Take it back," Sasuke demanded, both hands clenched as his nails dug into his palms.

"Take what back? My non-nomination?"

Sasuke glared.

Kakashi met his gaze unflinchingly. "I didn't nominate you because I didn't think you would pass. No, I _know _you wouldn't pass and to be honest, the thought of either of you making chunin terrifies me. You're far from ready."

"You're a liar," Sasuke said, his voice holding the slightest hint of a tremor. "You're just doing this to punish us—to punish me. You've reached your prime and I'm only going to get stronger and stronger and you can't stand it. You think you can hold me back?"

Kakashi watched him in silence, and the younger ninja stopped, visibly shaking. "You don't understand. I _need _to be in the chunin exams."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke."

"Sorry isn't good enough!" Sasuke yelled, and Sakura flinched at the sound. She'd never heard him raise his voice before.

Sakura raised a hand to pat him on the shoulder in a comforting gesture, but he violently jerked away from her touch. "S-Sasuke-kun, calm down. We can always try again next year-"

"Shut up! What do you know?" Sasuke snapped, turning on her. "You wouldn't pass anyway, so what do you care? You're probably happy that we're being held back with you."

As he spoke, Sasuke took several steps towards Sakura and she backed up unconsciously, warily maintaining their distance. The action was not lost on him.

"What's wrong, Sakura? Are you afraid of me now?"

"What?" Sakura faltered, her green eyes wide with hurt—and fear. "No, of course not, Sasuke-kun." Her voice was steady but her mouth formed a hard line and her countenance poignantly mirrored the last time he saw Sakura in his own time, right before she tried to kill him and Sasuke _knew _she was lying.

"Sasuke..." Kakashi warned.

Sasuke ignored him and whirled on Naruto. "You're okay with this?"

Bewildered, Naruto looked back and forth between Kakashi and Sakura for guidance before realizing that the action seemed to be inciting Sasuke even further. "Well, I don't know... I mean, I'm mad, but..."

"Figures. Didn't you hear him? He thinks you're not good enough for chunin. You'll just go along with anything, won't you? You think you can be Hokage like that?"

"Hey, that's not fair. Don't be such a bastard, Sasuke-"

Overcome with emotion and close to bursting at the seams, Sasuke ran off mid-sentence, and the rest of his team stood by uneasily as they watched him fly down the path until he disappeared from view.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Kakashi sighed. "That went well."

* * *

Beyond livid, Sasuke stumbled through town, not knowing or caring where he was going. He only knew that he had to get as far away as possible, because even though he wanted to lash out at Kakashi, it would only end in humiliation and defeat.

Kakashi was going to ruin everything. The copycat ninja was bitter that Sasuke didn't need his guidance, jealous that he had learned chidori on his own, and was holding Sasuke back out of pure spite. Kakashi _had _to know they were ready: after all, he had nominated them last time around, and Sasuke's skills were far more advanced than they had been back then. But Kakashi held all the power here—if he wanted to stop them from progressing, all it took was a word. And he had done it.

Before Sasuke knew what he was doing, his fist was bleeding and his arm was halfway through the fence bordering the Uchiha complex—but he still couldn't feel the pain. He absently removed his hand from the fixture and watched dispassionately as splinters of wood drifted to the floor.

As suddenly as it had arrived, his anger abated and panic rose in its stead, his throat nearly seizing up from the intensity. Sasuke's back hit the wall and he slid down the side of the fence, his knees drawn up, his eyes unfocused as he stared steadily at the floor beneath his feet.

The Chunin Exams were his only link to Orochimaru and Kabuto. There was a slight possibility that he'd be allowed to attend the event as a bystander, but then again, the only genin he recalled seeing in the audience were previous contenders that had failed. And even if he _was _allowed in, there would be no guarantee that Orochimaru would even search for Sasuke this time around. What if Orochimaru thought he was an unsuitable host? Even before, the snake-sannin had repeatedly tested him before deciding Sasuke was worthy of the attention. Why would he even bother with someone who hadn't even been recommended for the exams in the first place? And if he didn't meet Kabuto, how would he ever run across Higurashi? What if he was stuck in this alternate time—forever?

No cursed seal, no power, no revenge, no returning... What was he supposed to do? What _could _he do?

* * *

Sasuke had returned to aimlessly pacing through the narrow streets of Konoha, lost in thought, but the words rapidly racing through his mind were ultimately strung together in a manner that was too incoherent to decipher.

Resentment, frustration, confusion and fear all rolled into one overwhelming package until he could no longer discern exactly what he was feeling. It was almost too much: he had always _felt, _far stronger than most people, far more than he wanted to and he had never been taught how to contain it all, how to manage the onslaught of emotions that plagued him. Had Itachi felt the same way? Were all Uchihas like this? It was something he'd never know.

In the heart of Konoha, Sasuke passed Ichiraku's from a distance and did a quick a double-take: Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto were sitting at the bar, less than a dozen feet away, blithely unaware of his presence. He stopped midstride and fixed an unwavering gaze on his teammates. Naruto was happily guzzling down ramen, all past grievances forgiven in the face of being treated to lunch. Kakashi had his book out and although his mask was firmly secured in place, half of his ramen was gone and Sakura was smiling at both of her teammates, her pink hair waving through the air as she shook her head at Naruto's lack of manners; she leaned over to say something to Kakashi and he reached over to ruffle her hair—

White hot fury rolled through Sasuke once more, but it abruptly cooled and left Sasuke with a clear enough mind to start thinking rationally.

There had to be a way around this. He wasn't going to stand idly by and let Kakashi ruin his chance to get back to his own time—or ruin his chance to regain the power he had lost.

But what could he do? He certainly wasn't strong enough to kill Kakashi here, and the majority of his past tactics generally consisted of two steps: get stronger and destroy all opposition. Sasuke's plans hadn't ever needed to evolve further, and only now was he starting to regret that. With no mangekyo sharingan and no cursed seal, he didn't have the power to throw strategy to the wind.

There had to be some way to weasel his way into the exams; there was still time, too. All he needed was a recommendation, but unfortunately, only their appointed jonin instructor had the ability to give it. Kakashi's word was final. Wasn't it?

* * *

"Hand me that scroll, will you?"

Iruka fumbled for the rolled up parchment and handed it to Sarutobi, who was up to his neck in paperwork in preparation for the upcoming exams. The chunin absently adjusted his pony tail and scratched the tip of his nose before letting out a long sigh. "I'm telling you, those kids just aren't ready..."

Sarutobi grunted; Iruka had been going on and on about this for the last couple of days. He seemed genuinely worried about the rookie genin and no amount of reassurance from the Hokage (or anyone else for that matter) was enough to dissuade him.

From across the table, Fujioka snorted lightly in response. "Don't be ridiculous. The Hokage would never have allowed them otherwise-"

There was a soft knock from outside, and the Hokage inclined his head briefly at the interruption. "Come in."

The door slid open, and Sarutobi looked up in surprise as the visitor entered the room. "What can I do for you, Sasuke?"

The dark-haired genin hesitated for a moment, looking paler than usual as he approached the desk. "I need to speak with you."

Sarutobi leaned forward as he nodded, motioning for Sasuke to continue; both Iruka and Fujioka began shifting papers around on the desk in an effort to look busy as they furtively listened in.

When Sasuke made no move to speak, Sarutobi dropped a hand to the desk and tapped his fingers rhythmically. "Well?"

"Sorry," Sasuke said. "This is hard..."

"Team Seven was assigned a mission not too long ago, if I'm not mistaken. Shouldn't you be leaving soon?"

Sasuke pinched his lips. "That's just it. I don't," He paused and let out a sharp breath of air in frustration. "I can't do this anymore. I can't go on these missions like everything's normal, pretending that I don't know what I know."

Sarutobi's back straightened slightly, his interest piqued, and the sound of shuffling papers came to a halt.

"I didn't want to say anything before. I was... afraid," Sasuke admitted, his voice bitter and tinged with disgust. "I used to always be alone. I didn't have family, I didn't have anyone. But it's different now. I care about my teammates. They're... my friends," He bit out with some uncertainty. "And I don't want to see them hurt."

"Go on."

"I thought I could ignore the warnings. That if I just pretended not to see, it would go away, but I can't..." Sasuke took a deep, steadying breath before meeting the Hokage's questioning gaze with determination. "There's something I think you should know about Kakashi and Sakura."

* * *

**A/N**: There's a happy ending somewhere, eventually, I promise... So don't get _too _down (doctor's orders). Thanks for coming along—it's gonna to be a bumpy ride.


	10. Windmill Crusaders

**Chapter 10: Windmill Crusaders**

* * *

Kakashi was instantly alert as his eyes jolted open upon waking up—not to the sound of his alarm, but to a steady pounding on his front door. He took a quick glance at his clock and leisurely rolled out of bed after taking note of the time. No wonder his alarm hadn't gone off: he had forgotten to set it. Again.

The frantic knocking increased as he ambled over to the doorway, absently thinking about what to have for breakfast; he was running much later than usual and was, regrettably, out of cereal. Sighing, Kakashi yanked open the door and was surprised to see Iruka standing there with one fist raised, looking very much like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world.

"Good morning, Kakashi," Iruka said hesitantly, lowering his hand.

Kakashi stared at him in silence, his expression somewhat irritable—he never had appreciated uninvited company, especially in the morning—and he noticed that Iruka couldn't seem to look him in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time.

"I was instructed to escort you to—" Iruka paused and gulped upon seeing the Kakashi's face,"—that is, the Hokage needs to speak with you immediately."

Kakashi held back a yawn and gracelessly slumped against the doorframe. "..What have they done this time?"

"Er, well. You see..."

"Can this wait? Team Seven's scheduled to leave on a mission in-" Kakashi looked back into his apartment, his eyes locking on the small clock on his desk, "Well, we were _supposed _to leave-"

"The mission's been reassigned," Iruka said curtly, his mouth a grim line. "Please come with me."

* * *

The walk to the Academy was uncomfortably quiet.

Iruka was uncharacteristically skittish on the commute there and in spite of Kakashi's not so subtle prompting, he refused to reveal the nature of their impromptu meeting. To Kakashi's surprise, Iruka led him past the Hokage's office and instead escorted him into a nearby chamber that was generally reserved for meetings with foreign visitors. Iruka closed the door behind Kakashi and remained outside of the room.

The area itself was sparsely furnished: a vast, rectangular table covered the majority of the room and the only source of light came from the large overhead lamp centered over the wooden fixture.

Upon entering, Kakashi spotted Sarutobi seated at the far end of the table. He seemed older and far more exhausted than usual—and, oddly enough, bored. Next to him sat his assistant Fujioka, whose face lit up in a smug, self-righteous sneer as Kakashi walked through the doorway. Kakashi gave them both perfunctory glances before his eyes were drawn to the third figure in the room. The man was seated facing away from the door and Kakashi only had time to stare at the figure's mane of thick, slicked back brown hair for a few seconds before he turned towards Kakashi with a tight smile.

"There you are! Kakashi Hatake, correct?" The man's smile widened. "Nice to meet you. Why don't you have a seat?" He said brightly, motioning to the chair across from him.

Kakashi was immediately on edge. Choosing to ignore the unknown figure, he inclined his head towards the Third Hokage as he spoke. "Who is this?"

"This is Sagara-san," Sarotobi said disinterestedly.

The older man made no move to continue and instead seemed to be staring off into space, presumably deep in thought.

Taking that as a sign to speak, Fujioka chimed in, "Sagara-san is a part of a special division of ANBU. As a matter of fact, he's one of our best interrogators. Danzo-sama himself recommended him."

If Kakashi was a lesser man, he would have started sweating. "Alright then. _Why _is he here?"

"Fujioka-san saw fit to inform the Council of our meeting and they insisted on having an impartial investigator present for the questioning," Sarutobi drawled out, irritation evident in his voice.

Kakashi blinked once. "Questioning?"

"It's standard protocol," The Third sighed. "Please just cooperate. The sooner this is over with, the better."

Warily, Kakashi took a seat opposite of Sagara. The investigator's face was clean-shaven save for a trim mustache. His entire countenance screamed 'exceedingly well-groomed' and his muscular frame was the only real indication that he was shinobi.

"I apologize for pulling you from your mission so abruptly. No worries, though. Another genin team has been assigned to pick up the slack. Madam Setsuna's golden locket won't find itself, after all," Sagara chuckled lightly to himself and Kakashi wasn't entirely sure what was supposed to be funny. "So, Kakashi the Copycat ninja. Ex-ANBU. Shame we've never met before now—you're practically famous. This is your first year teaching a genin squad, isn't it?"

Kakashi grunted in acknowledgement.

"I've heard great things about your team. The last Uchiha, huh? I've been told he's shaping up to be quite the prodigy. And that Uzumaki kid, too. They must be a handful."

Sagara paused and waited for Kakashi to speak. When he didn't, Sagara prompted, "Want to tell me about them?"

"What's to tell?"

Sagara folded his hands and rested them on the table. "I'm sure you're well aware, but those two have made quite a name for themselves among Konoha. The Delinquent Duo, I hear. I can only imagine how tough it must be to teach the lot of them."

Kakashi folded his arms, looking disinterested. "What's this about, exactly?"

"Kakashi, don't be difficult," Sarutobi said sternly, fixing an admonishing glare on him.

Kakashi's jaw twitched, but he said nothing.

"If they were my students..." Sagara said, trailing off as he shook his head in disapproval. "When I was younger, we'd never get away with that kind of behavior."

"They don't _get away _with anything."

"Genin squads are composed of three rookies, though, aren't they?" Sagara smoothly continued, "How is your third student? Sakura, was it?"

"Is this about my qualifications as a teacher?"

"Hey, I didn't say anything about that," Sagara held up both hands in mock surrender. "I'm sure you're perfectly qualified. I mean, I can understand your situation. It'd be hard to teach students who refuse to show up for training. It's not your fault if none of your students have learned anything from you."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "Naruto and Sasuke might not be interested, but Sakura's made lots of progress. She was more interested in finding a boyfriend than being a ninja when she first graduated. Nowadays, her chakra control is nearly better than my own and she's mastered several genjutsu techniques. It's hardly fair to say that she's learned nothing."

"You're right, you're right," Sagara agreed. "That's pretty impressive. It must have taken a lot of extra attention to get her to focus like that."

"I suppose..."

"I bet it was easier to concentrate on Sakura without the boys fighting you at every turn. Handling three genin at once can be quite a handful."

Kakashi paused, unsure of what to say. He briefly looked over at Sarutobi and Fujioka, but both had their eyes fixed on Sagara and seemed content to simply listen in. "Sasuke and Naruto have never missed a mission and in spite of their poor attendance rates, their skills have progressed rapidly as well."

"But regardless, you focused most of your attention on training Sakura."

Kakashi shrugged. "She's the only one who wanted to learn anything."

"Have you tried giving your other students an incentive to show up? You know, like offering to take them to lunch or rewarding them for good attendance."

"Oh, I've tried." Kakashi said. "Bribery is not as useful as you'd think."

"So you've given your students gifts before then?"

"Sure."

"What sort of gifts?"

"Ah... let's see..." Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You know, useful things. New kunai, shurikens, explosive tags... magazines." He paused. "Well, mostly useful."

"I see, I see." Sagara nodded. "Sasuke and Naruto didn't take to them, then?"

"Well..." Kakashi halted. "Sasuke and Naruto didn't exactly show up to get them ever. So, no."

"Oh, so you haven't given gifts to your students then. You've only given gifts to Sakura?"

"Sakura _is _my student," he said defensively, brow furrowing.

"She's clearly your favorite, though."

Kakashi took a steadying breath, his patience starting to wear thin. "I'm sorry, but I'm a bit confused about where this is conversation is going. I don't even know what I'm being questioned for."

"We're just here to talk about your students, that's all. There's no rush," Sagara said, smiling briefly. "So they don't respond well to gifts. Have you tried encouraging them in other ways? Maybe a pat on the shoulder, or on the head?"

"I don't know. Sometimes."

"Have you ever hugged any of your students?"

At this, tiny warning bells started going off in Kakashi's head. "No? Naruto may have jumped on me once or twice."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

Kakashi made an irritated noise, refusing to answer.

"Have you ever touched any of your students with lustful intent?"

Kakashi openly stared at him in complete silence for several seconds.

"Excuse me?" He bit out, his voice laced with disbelief. "What kind of question-" Kakashi furiously whipped his head towards the Hokage. "What is this really about, Hokage-sama?"

"Do you think it's appropriate to expose children to sexual materials?"

Kakashi turned back to face Sagara, glaring coldly as he spoke. "No. Why would I?"

"Do you think it makes your students uncomfortable when you show them pornographic material?"

"I don't-"

"You _don't _think it makes them uncomfortable?"

"No, I-"

"What's your relationship with Sakura like?"

There was a beat of silence as Kakashi stared at him incredulously.

"Kakashi, are you familiar with the concept of sexual grooming?"

Kakashi was done, he decided. Completely, one-hundred percent done.

"Sexual grooming occurs when an adult takes a special interest in a child with the intention of coercing them into a sexual relationship. The adult will create opportunities to spend time alone with the child; they'll give the child gifts, have adult conversations with them... They'll initiate inappropriate amounts of physical contact with them and will expose the child to pornography. In order to 'get them used to it,' so to speak. Any of this sounding familiar?"

By this point, Kakashi was refusing to speak. Sagara sighed and continued, "Kakashi, we brought you here because we have reason to believe that you have been sexually involved with your student, Sakura Haruno."

"This is insane," Kakashi said, dazed. "I can't even-"

"You aren't denying it, then."

"Of course I'm denying it!" Kakashi spat, abruptly rising from his seat.

"That's interesting, because we have a witness who attests otherwise. I'm going to ask you one more time. Have you been sexually intimate with your student, Sakura Haruno?"

"Who the hell told you that?"

"Alright, alright, calm down." Sagara lifted up his hands as he spoke. "Look, I don't think you're a bad guy, Kakashi. I don't think that _you _ think you've done anything wrong, or that your relationship with her is inappropriate, but I need you to be honest with me."

"That's enough," Sarutobi said sharply.

The ANBU investigator leaned back in his chair at the sound of the Hokage's voice. "This normally isn't done with an audience, Hokage-sama."

"And this isn't supposed to be an interrogation, Sagara-san. This is strictly _informal _questioning."

"Can I go now?" Kakashi ground out. Another minute of this and he'd be in danger of losing his composure.

Sagara gracefully rose and pushed in his chair in one fluid movement. "You can go after I've finished _informally _questioning your students."

With that, Sagara left the room. Fujioka and Sarutobi rose from their seats, the latter signalling for Kakashi to follow them through the door. Kakashi spotted Iruka upon exiting; the chunin had been standing outside near the entryway and from the look on his face it was clear that he had been eavesdropping.

The group traveled down the hall and into a new room. The area was dark, and immediately to the right of the entrance was a one-way mirror overlooking a smaller adjoining room that featured a compact table and two sets of chairs.

Sarutobi and Fujioka moved to the far corner of the room, but Kakashi stopped near the door after entering and Iruka moved to stand next to him. The four men stood in silence as they watched Sagara enter the adjoining area.

Leaning towards the Academy teacher, Kakashi whispered, "What the hell is going on?"

Iruka sighed, somehow managing to appear even more uncomfortable than before—which was quite a feat considering that he hadn't stopped looking that way since he showed up on Kakashi's doorstep. "Sasuke may have said some things..."

"_Sasuke_ said some things? _Sasuke_?"

Iruka cringed at the vehemence in Kakashi's voice. "Yeah, the Hokage didn't seem terribly impressed either, but... I'm sorry, Kakashi. We can't just blatantly ignore that kind of accusation. How would that make us look, if there was something going on and we didn't even check into things?"

"This is a little more than 'checking into things', don't you think?"

"It might have gotten a bit out of hand once the Council got involved," Iruka admitted.

"You don't say," Kakashi deadpanned. "Am I being charged with something?"

"Not yet." After seeing the look on Kakashi's face, he quickly amended, "I-I mean, I'm sure you won't be at all. It's just procedure. I mean, there's no actual evidence, right? You haven't done anything inappropriate with Sakura?" His voice lilted almost questioningly, in such a hopeful, unsure way that Kakashi immediately blanched.

"You aren't seriously asking me that, are you? Please tell me you're joking."

"N-no, of course not..."

To Iruka's relief, the conversation was interrupted as Naruto was escorted into the interrogation room. The kid looked as chipper and blissfully ignorant as ever.

Sagara began engaging Naruto in light conversation: he was overly friendly, and it was clear that Naruto had no idea what was going on. Either way, Naruto seemed happy enough to have gotten out of what he declared was a "boring, lame D-rank mission." After a series of seemingly innocent inquiries (How's your training going? How do you like being a genin? Do you get along with your teammates? How about your teacher?), Sagara followed up with a string of increasingly suggestive questions.

"Your friend Sasuke tells us that your teacher spends a lot of one-on-one time training Sakura. Do you think it's fair that she gets special attention and you don't?"

Naruto scrunched his nose. "No. That's not fair at all."

"I've also been told that your teacher actually discourages you from showing up to training by overworking you. Sasuke says that you both feel like Kakashi doesn't want you there at all. Do you agree with that?"

"I guess so," The younger man shrugged, tilting his head thoughtfully.

"Well, I'm sure Kakashi has his reasons for doing that. He's a little weird, isn't he?" Sagara grinned.

"Yeah, he's really weird," Naruto yawned. "He's always late, even though he's the one that tells us when to show up somewhere. I mean, why can't he just tell us to meet at a later time? It's crazy! And he's always giggling at his porno books."

"Porno books?"

"Yeah! You know, like Icha Icha Paradise. He reads those all the time when we're on missions. I don't know why—they're so boring!"

"Boring?"

"Yeah. I don't get why he likes them so much."

"So you've seen them?"

"Oh, sure."

Kakashi's stomach dropped—this was not going to end well.

"Has your teammate Sakura been acting strange lately?"

"Uh..." Naruto looked at Sagara in confusion. "I don't know."

"Have you noticed Sakura spend a lot of time alone with your teacher outside of training?"

"Um... I haven't really noticed anything different..." Naruto paused. "I guess she does, yeah."

"I see, I see." Sagara nodded approvingly. "Your friend Sasuke told us that Kakashi frequently touches and hugs Sakura in front of the two of you. Does that make you feel uncomfortable?"

Kakashi abruptly stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut as he exited. Iruka followed him out shortly aftewards and found Kakashi quietly fuming by the entryway.

His chest was heavy with sympathy as he watched Kakashi try to regain composure. Iruka stood next to him awkwardly for a few moments before he felt comfortable enough to speak. "Don't stress over this. It's almost over. It's just a necessary evil to get through; nothing'll come of it. In the end, it's just your word against Sasuke's. I'm sure once they bring Sakura in, the whole thing will be dropped-"

"That isn't the point!" Kakashi snapped, causing Iruka to hastily shut his mouth. "The _point _is that Sasuke's getting his way yet again. The _point _is that it's a joke that we're giving this ridiculous accusation attention in the first place. And Sagara?" Kakashi shook his head, laughing humorlessly. "Those were some of the most biased, suggestive questioning techniques I've ever seen. He should be fired."

Iruka didn't know what to say to that, so he remained quiet.

"That kid is a sociopath," Kakashi continued heatedly. "Sasuke thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and he doesn't give a damn about how it affects other people." Noticing Iruka's startled expression, he calmed himself and managed a strained smile. "Sorry about that, Iruka. You're right. Everything will be fine in a few days. I'll just throw out a few molestation jokes here or there to break the ice and I'm sure my _twelve-year-old student_ will forget all about being asked if she's had sex with her teacher."

"Sakura should be up shortly," Iruka shifted uncomfortably in place. "We should probably head back in-"

"I don't want to see it. I'll wait in the other room, thanks."

"Of course," Iruka said weakly. He stood in the hall for several minutes after watching Kakashi depart before returning to watch the rest of the investigation.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Sarutobi, Fujioka, and Iruka arrived back at the initial meeting room and found Kakashi comfortably lounging at head of the table reading Icha Icha Paradise. His eyes never left the page as they entered, and he made no further move to acknowledge their presence.

When everyone was seated, Sarutobi broke the silence. "Well, I'm fairly certain that we've accomplished absolutely nothing today."

"That's hardly the case, Hokage-sama," Fujioka objected, somewhat offended by the statement. "We've-"

"Iruka," Sarutobi interrupted. "If you would be so kind—please tell Sagara to escort the rest of Team Seven here. I'd like to get this over with as quickly as possible."

Nodding once, Iruka disappeared from the room and returned several minutes later with Sagara, Naruto, and Sasuke in tow. Noticing several questioning glances, Iruka said, "Sakura is currently in session with Dr. Shigure. He'll be bringing her in shortly."  
**  
**Sagara pat both boys lightly on the back and gestured for them to sit down. As he took a seat, Naruto's expression became a bit more solemn than usual and he seemed to have finally caught on that something serious was going on.

Sasuke was doing his best to remain stony-faced, but Kakashi could see his lips curl into the beginnings of a self-satisfied smile, and it took every ounce of willpower to stop himself from leaping over the table to throttle him.

* * *

**A/N**: Somewhere, in a more disturbing parallel universe, this is alternatively titled Not A Mere Windmill.  
Thank you for your comments. You guys are awesome. Kakashi sends you hugs and kisses (but only if you're over the age of consent).


	11. Rats in a Box

**Chapter 11: Rats in a Box**

* * *

As Sasuke smoothly glided behind Sagara into the conference room, he briefly surveyed the area before allowing his eyes to land on Kakashi. Sasuke quickly took in the way his hand tightly clenched into the faded orange book and the way his fingers bent the pages from the force of the grip—the way his normally disinterested, hooded gaze shifted into something cold and accusatory.

Kakashi tensed as Sasuke sat down, openly brimming with hostility. Just as Sasuke began to wonder if Kakashi was actually brash enough to attack him on sight, the jonin's muscles loosened and he relaxed back into the curve of the chair beneath him. Kakashi appeared as nonchalant and apathetic as ever, and the only visible sign of his agitation was his viselike grip on the book in his hands.

Sasuke didn't know what to expect upon going into the meeting. Truthfully, he hadn't known what to expect from the moment he opened his mouth in the Hokage's office. He didn't know if Kakashi would be charged with anything or if Team Seven would be assigned a new jonin instructor—didn't know if they would be reconsidered for the chunin exams.

He did his best to stop a smirk from sneaking up on his face as he watched Kakashi squirm in his seat, clearly wanting so desperately to throttle Sasuke but powerless to do so. Sasuke didn't know what would happen after this was all said and done, but he did know that—regardless of the outcome—the sight before him was _so _worth it.

Kakashi had been sorely mistaken if he thought Sasuke would just sit idly by as he screwed over his chance to meet Orochimaru.

"I think it's clear that something unsavory is going on here," Sagara began. "At the very least, Kakashi is guilty of endangering the welfare of a child, lewd conduct when a minor is present, taking indecent liberties with a minor-"

"Lewd conduct?" Kakashi interrupted.

"Forcing a minor to look at sexual materials-"

"Sasuke said that, did he?" Kakashi fixed Sasuke with a hard glare. "What else did you tell them, Sasuke? I'd really like to hear it from you."

Sasuke's only response was a vacant stare that did nothing to lessen Kakashi's enmity. Before the situation could escalate further, there was a brief knock on the door; seconds later, the dark-haired Dr. Shigure entered the room. A pale Sakura trailed in afterwards, her head bowed and her downcast eyes red and watery as she stared resolutely at the floor.

Naruto gave her a lighthearted smile as she entered the room and waved for her to sit next to him, but his grin faded into a frown upon seeing her face. "Sakura-chan, what's wrong?"

Sakura looked up just long enough to give him an incredulous stare before she averted her eyes back to the floorboards.

Kakashi, exasperated and tired of the entire charade, redirected his attention towards Dr. Shigure. "And why is _he _here?"

Sasuke's eyes flickered briefly over Naruto and Sakura as their instructor spoke. More to the point, why were any of them there? If anything, it seemed wiser for Sagara to report to The Third in private. Sasuke could only assume that this was at Sagara's insistence, perhaps in an attempt to provoke Kakashi or to intimidate Sakura into a confession.

"He was brought in to report his assessment on Sakura's mental state and to determine whether or not her symptoms match those of someone who was sexually coerced," Fujioka said primly.

"Sexually what?" Naruto jolted, staring at Fujioka with wide eyes.

Sakura flinched upon hearing the last two words and immediately opened her mouth in protest. "I told you, I've never... I-I wasn't... he'd never—" her lips trembled and the words were caught in her throat—she couldn't seem to say _it _out loud. Her eyes darted towards Kakashi and then quickly lowered back down to the floor in embarrassment.

Sarutobi looked at the sniffling girl with sympathy. "Iruka, please take Sakura out of the room for a moment-"

Before Iruka had time to move, Kakashi spoke. "No, I think she should hear what Dr. Shigure has to say. Don't you, Sakura?"

Sakura froze, unprepared to deal with having Kakashi's attention on her. "I..."—her eyes flickered to her left and landed briefly on the psychiatrist—"..yes."

Dr. Shigure pursed his lips. "Hokage-sama, I don't think that it would be in Sakura's best interests-"

"Sakura's a shinobi of Konoha now," Kakashi interrupted. "If she's capable of putting her life on the line for the sake of her village, I'm sure she's more than capable of hearing whatever you have to say."

Both Kakashi and Dr. Shigure looked at Sarutobi and after a moment of contemplation, the Hokage nodded. "Very well; Sakura, you may remain seated. Dr. Shigure, please proceed."

Dr. Shigure's leg jiggled involuntarily as he spoke, his foot tapping against the leg of the table every so often. "It's difficult to say whether or not Sakura's testimony was consistent with sexual abuse. Some past interactions she related could be categorized as sexual grooming..."—Sakura tensed up—"...in a certain context, but according to Sakura, that context is missing," Dr. Shigure paused to take a breath. "She exhibits some symptoms common to those with histories of coerced sexual activity. Namely, a strong amount of anxiety, a low sense of self-worth, a large amount of repressed and unexplained anger, overly compliant behavior, false maturity, recurrent nightmares—"

Naruto frowned. "You have nightmares?"

"Those are.." Sakura flushed, "..because of Wave."

Dr. Shigure continued, "—an odd and somewhat unhealthy attachment to a certain person—"

"That's not—I don't-"

"Where is your proof?" Kakashi snapped. He directed his rather intense one-eyed gaze at Sakura. "Sakura. Have I ever touched you in a sexual manner?"

"Touched her?!" Naruto's eyes bulged.

She quickly shook her head.

"Have I ever forced you to look at erotica? Have I ever made inappropriate sexual advances towards you?"

"N-No!"

Fujioka's eyes narrowed. "Stop interrogating her-"

Kakashi pressed on, undeterred, "Have I ever made you feel uncomfortable?"

"You're making her feel uncomfortable _now_!"

Kakashi leaned back in his seat once more. "See? She denies it."

"Of course she's going to deny it, what with you intimidating her like that."

Iruka hesitantly raised a hand as he spoke for the first time. "Fujioka-san, Sakura denied it when being questioned earlier, too."

"She could be lying. Child victims often keep quiet about these things, don't they?"

Dr. Shigure shook his head in agreement. "It may seem strange, but there are a lot of reasons why a minor would deny being coerced into a sexual relationship. The victim may feel like they're to blame or they may be afraid of the consequences. The humiliation, the shame, the fear of not being believed... Additionally, the victim may care for and look up to the abuser and be afraid of what will happen to them."

Fujioka nodded to himself. "Clearly the case here."

"Fujioka-san..." The Third warned, and Fujioka looked away in irritation.

"Hokage-sama," Sagara spoke up. "The evidence is, if not enough to outright condemn Kakashi, more than enough to warrant further investigation into the matter. Kakashi himself admits to favoritism, gift giving and spending an inordinate amount of unsupervised time with Sakura. We have a witness who has testified that he's seen Kakashi engaging in inappropriate touching and heavy petting with Sakura—"  
**  
**"Wait, Kakashi did _what_?!" Naruto whirled on Kakashi in outrage. "How could you?!"

Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm before the blonde could jump out of his seat. "Naruto, he didn't!"

"But they just said-"

"He _didn't_!"

Naruto stopped speaking and grimaced, his confusion tangible.  
**  
**Sagara loudly cleared his throat, evidently annoyed by the onslaught of interruptions. "It has also been brought to my attention that, in light of Kakashi's illicit interest in Sakura, that his decision to withhold his team's nomination into the chunin exams was biased."

Sasuke let out a slow breath. Finally. It only took them nearly two hours to get to the point. He watched the exposed portion of Kakashi's face as comprehension struck; if Sasuke thought he was mad before, well...

"What?" Kakashi scoffed. "How does that even begin to make sense?"

"According to my research, Team Seven is the only rookie genin team who has successfully completed what turned out to be a B-rank mission. They've completed more than the necessary amount of missions for nomination and have, individually, demonstrated higher levels of achievement than the majority of candidates nominated this year. Even if they failed the exams, at worse they'd suffer from a few bruised egos. You have to ask yourselves: why _wouldn't _he nominate them?"

"Why? I'll tell you why-"

"I'm sure you're well aware, Hokage-sama, that most shinobi do not remain on their initial genin squads after promotion. Even if the squad isn't immediately dissolved, chunins are frequently assigned to different teams, and many choose to specialize their skill sets and seek apprenticeships. Given Team Seven's dissension and the fact that Sasuke and Naruto are frequently absent, Kakashi is able to keep Sakura isolated from her peers and from influential adult figures. If any of his students were to graduate, the status quo would change. The amount of opportunities Kakashi would have to get Sakura alone for long periods of time would be drastically reduced." Sagara paused, letting the information sink in. "It's obvious why Kakashi would choose to withhold nomination."

Kakashi gaped, grateful that nobody could see his mouth hang open. He turned slowly towards Sasuke and in a low voice, he said, "You want to know why I didn't nominate you, Sasuke?"

"Now, I didn't say Sasuke specifically-" Sagara started.

"I didn't nominate him because he's a selfish, immature child who's likely to get his entire team killed on a whim if it'll get him what he wants. This whole charade is proof of that. Look at the lies he's willing to spread just for a chance to get into the exams."

There were several beats of silence after Kakashi's outburst.

After a moment, Sagara snorted. "And that's not biased _at all_, I'm sure."

Sakura stared at Sasuke in shock. "Sasuke-kun... _you _told them...?"

Sasuke met her gaze momentarily before quickly turning away. Sakura was looking at him as if she was seeing him for the very first time—like she didn't even know him. He had the strangest impression that she thought he was some sort of Sasuke imposter and was waiting for him to dispel a henge and go "Ha! Fooled you!"

For some irritating, irrational reason, his cheeks felt like they were burning. An unidentified and wholly unpleasant emotion was bubbling up in his gut, and Sasuke mercilessly crushed it.  
**  
**When the Hokage finally spoke, his voice was heavy with disappointment. "I've had enough of this. The both of you-"—he gave Sasuke and Kakashi two stern, pointed looks—"-are acting like children, and neither of you have an excuse. Kakashi—abuse allegations aside, it's more than evident that you have not resolved the issues plaguing your genin team. Your resentment towards Sasuke is near palpable and downright toxic to the team's functioning. It pains me to say this, but an accusation of bias is not difficult to believe. You especially—more than most—know how dangerous a lack of teamwork can be."

Kakashi lowered his eyes to the table.

"I'm suspending Team Seven until further notice. The four of you will meet with me after the Chunin Exams have ended and we'll discuss continued tutelage then. In the mean time, if for any reason a temporary instructor is required, Ebisu will be assigned to the position. I would suggest that each of you take this as an opportunity to clear your thoughts and contemplate how you'll plan on making an effort to cooperate with one another in the future—if you want to keep your team intact, that is."

Kakashi let out a harsh breath at the news, and Sasuke couldn't tell if it was one of relief or frustration.  
**  
**"That's all you're going to do? What if these allegations are true? We need to conduct a full investigation. A proper one," Fujioka insisted. "We can't just let someone like that walk around—he's a teacher—we have to think of what's in the best interests of the children-"

"Hokage-sama," Sagara said evenly. "I will be informing the Council of the events of today. As was instructed." He added, "And Sakura's parents will be notified, of course."

"What?" Sakura nearly shouted, aghast and close to tears.

Sarutobi sighed. "That won't be necessary-"

"Of course it's necessary. They have the right to be informed of accusations of this nature."

"No, please don't!" Sakura looked terrified. "This is all just a misunderstanding!"

The Third rose from his seat and everyone abruptly stopped talking. "My decision is final. I don't want to hear about this again. You are all free to leave."

* * *

Sasuke was the first to exit and the rest of the room slowly emptied one body at a time. Kakashi followed shortly after Sasuke; he had fully expected Kakashi to confront him, but to his relief the gray-haired jonin jutsued away almost immediately upon leaving the conference room. Sasuke moved down the hall and made his way towards the Hokage's office: the last thing he wanted was to be accosted by any of the previous occupants of the room, but he wasn't quite ready to leave just yet.

Sasuke didn't know how to feel about the conclusion of Sagara's inquisition. It seemed almost anticlimactic and although Kakashi was—for all intents and purposes—temporarily dismissed from his position as their mentor, the Hokage had not breached the subject of their participation in the Chunin Exams.  
**  
**Sarutobi was the last to leave the room, and as he marched down the walkway, the Kage strode right past Sasuke and entered his office without sparing him a single glance. Feeling slighted and more than a little annoyed, Sasuke's first instinct was to follow him into the room. He reached for the door, but stopped as his hand grazed the handle. Maybe it was a bit too soon after the meeting? After all, the Hokage didn't seem particularly pleased with him—or with anyone, for that matter. And social tact had never been one of Sasuke's strengths... Well, Sasuke thought, that wasn't going to be changing any time soon. Steeling himself, Sasuke yanked the door open and marched into the room.

The Hokage's arm froze in midair, pipe in hand as the genin entered and he greeted Sasuke with a steely glare.

In retrospect, he probably should have knocked.

"What is it _now_, Sasuke?"

Sasuke glowered at the rude reception. "I wanted to know..." he hesitated briefly, "...if our chunin exam nomination is going to be reconsidered."

Sarutobi's eyes were dispassionate as he stared at Sasuke. "No."

Sasuke waited for an explanation, quietly seething, and received nothing in return. The Hokage's gaze had returned to the papers on his desk as he idly chewed on the end of his pipe.

Impatient, Sasuke broke the silence. "You heard Kakashi back there—he hates me. He knows I'm qualified and he still didn't nominate me. And Kiba? Shikamaru? _Chouji_?" Sasuke scoffed. "I'll fight them all and win every match if that's what it takes."

"I already gave you my answer." Sarutobi paused. "I cannot let you participate. It's for your own good, Sasuke."

"What's _good _for me?" Sasuke said incredulously. "Since when do any of you care about what's _good _for me?"

Sarutobi took a long, contemplative drag of his pipe before speaking. "The Chunin Exams are held multiple times throughout the year. Postponing your participation in the exams in favor of honing your skills would only increase your chances of passing. Why are you so insistent about participating in this one?"

"It needs to be this one. I _need _to be there."

"You are avoiding the question, Sasuke."

"Because..." Sasuke opened his mouth and promptly shut it again as he floundered for an answer. What was he supposed to say? Why did it even matter? "Because I'm meant to be there. It's my destiny."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, obviously unimpressed with his response.

Sasuke nearly bit his tongue in frustration. "You're _destroying _my future!"

The Third stared—a bit surprised by his dramatic declaration, but at this point he really shouldn't have been—and then let out a slight chuckle. "If that's how you feel, Sasuke, I suppose it's high time you start creating a new one."

Sasuke only managed to stare dumbly at him in astonishment. So that was it, then. No chunin exam. No cursed seal. No escaping Konoha. No freedom. The indignity of having to stand there and just take that kind of treatment, of having to witness his concerns being tossed aside like last week's garbage, being swatted out of the way like some kind of harmless gnat—it was unthinkable. He could hear his heartbeat pounding heavily in his chest, faster and faster and—he took in several slow, even, tightly controlled breaths, and the beating stabilized.**  
**  
"If you don't let me into the Chunin Exams..." Sasuke said, voice dark with malice, "I'll tell everyone what you did to my brother. What you _made _him do. Everyone will know what sort of trash you really are."

Time seemed to stand still for Sasuke. His breathing had become ragged again, and the Hokage looked strangely unaffected until an unfamiliar gleam appeared in his eyes as some kind of recognition dawned on him.

Nobody spoke, and the tension quickly became unbearable for him. "Let me into the exams," Sasuke repeated, "Or I'll make you wish you had killed me with the rest of my clan."

"I see," Sarutobi said evenly. "Your clan... where did you get this idea, Sasuke?"

"Idea? _Idea?" _Sasuke's voice rose. "Are you denying it?"

Sarutobi remained silent.

"It isn't an _idea. _Danzo himself told me," Sasuke took a step forward, "Right before I killed him."  
**  
**Apprehensively, Sasuke waited for the Third's response, but the words never came. Instead, Sarutobi disappeared in a flash of red and white—and then all Sasuke could see was darkness.

* * *

Sasuke woke up, groggily, to a pounding head and a sharp, painful crink in his neck. He blinked twice as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room before soundlessly cursing. The room he was now sealed in was small, cramped, and dark. There were no windows and the only objects in the room, aside from the plain straw bed he was lying on, were a beaten-up wooden table, two chairs and a dirty looking latrine in the corner.

Instinct kicked in; Sasuke rushed to jump off of the bed and he was instantly overcome with a wave of dizziness. He stumbled towards the door, reached for the handle and proceeded to frantically yank at the unyielding piece of brass when it did not open for him.

He was stupid, stupid, stupid. Phenomenally stupid. Careless. He should have known better than to say something like that to the Hokage. Knowledge was power. Knowledge was dangerous. Of course Sarutobi would take a threat like that seriously...

Sasuke stiffened as he heard the sound of several footsteps approaching the door. Accompanying the footsteps were muffled voices, coming towards him—

He scrambled closer and pressed an ear flush against the wood of the door, recognizing the sound of Sarutobi's voice.

"You can't have Root assassinate him, Danzo—even off of the records. You know that."

Sasuke ground his teeth at the sound of Danzo's name, and ground down harder as the leader of Root spoke.

"We should never have let him live."

He heard Sarutobi sigh—just barely—through the barrier of the door.

"There weren't supposed to be any survivors," Danzo continued. "This is exactly why. We should fix our mistake now."

"Itachi," Sarutobi only uttered one word, but that was all that was needed to get the message across.

"That was a stipulation we never should have agreed to," Danzo said sharply. "What now? What else does he know? How did he find out?"

"He seems to think that _you _told him, Danzo. 'Right before he killed you' were his words, if I recall correctly."

There was a moment of silence before Sasuke heard Danzo speak again.

"That blasted clan nearly thwarted the creation of the village with their accursed pride, mercilessly plagued us with their scheming, planned a rebellion that would incite a fourth shinobi war... and now the only Uchiha remaining in the village is a posturing, delusional child with far too much knowledge and a penchant for blackmail," Danzo's voice was dripping with disgust. "And yet somehow, I'm not surprised. He truly is worthy of the Uchiha name."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and glared fiercely at the wall across from him. The two kage-level shinobi were standing near the door, talking quite plainly and making no effort to conceal their voices from him. It was obviously an intentional move on their parts, considering the nature of the conversation and the secrecy required for such a topic. But what was the point? Did they expect him to sit there and listen as Danzo outright besmirched the name of his clan—the clan he, _by the way_, gave the order to have exterminated?

"There are only a handful of us who know the truth, and only one who would have any reason to tell the boy."

"Itachi?" The Third sounded unconvinced. "Unlikely. Itachi pleaded with me to keep the truth from him. Telling Sasuke would go against everything he had hoped to achieve. No..." Sarutobi sighed again. "There's something else... I may have an idea. Leave him to me for now."

* * *

**A/N:** I ended up splitting this into two chapters. Come to think of it, I did that last time, too...  
Comments were really interesting—it seems like some people find Sasuke's magnificent bastard-ness hilariously entertaining while others want to choke him to death. Like Kakashi. Which also might be kind of entertaining to witness, but I digress.


	12. I Know You Know I Know

**Chapter 12: I Know You Know I Know**

* * *

When the door to his cell finally opened, Sasuke hastily backed away from the entrance and prepared to confront The Third—only to stare in confusion as Danzo walked in instead.

"Hello, Sasuke," Danzo said.

Sasuke's shocked expression effortlessly melted into a glower at the sound of his voice. _"You_. What are _you _doing here?"

"I'm here to impart a warning, that's all. Unfortunately..." Danzo muttered the last word under his breath, and Sasuke's contempt deepened as he caught it.

Danzo took several steps towards him. "Here," From beneath the sleeve of his robe, Danzo retrieved a small mirror and faced the reflective side towards Sasuke. "Open your mouth."

Sasuke's first impulse was to continue glaring and to refuse the ridiculous request, but he was also curious and more than a little suspicious. Taking a moment to mull over his options, Sasuke came to the unpleasant realization that at this point, he actually didn't _have _any options.

Sasuke approached Danzo and begrudgingly opened his mouth.

"Stick out your tongue."

Hesitantly, Sasuke extended his tongue out and peered curiously into the mirror. Beginning at the base of the soft pink muscle was a series of thick, black lines. As they extended away from his throat, the lines broke into two.

At the sight of the juinjutsu, Sasuke instantly withdrew his tongue. "What did you do to me?!"

"It's a cursed seal that is placed on anyone affiliated with Root. If you speak of anything incriminating that involves me—or insinuates my involvement—you will be paralyzed, rendered unable to move or speak for an indeterminate period of time." Danzo caught Sasuke's eyes as he spoke. "_Anything, _Sasuke."

Sasuke's face darkened and he slowly backed away from the center of the room. "I'll kill you for this."

"Oh? I hear you already have." Danzo said, amused. "Keep in mind that—if necessary—the seal's coverage can easily be expanded. If I were you, I'd think very carefully about what you say from now on."

With the threat still hanging in the air, Danzo gave a short, mocking bow and turned to retreat.

Danzo exited the room, and as his hand grasped the handle of the door, Sasuke angrily strode towards him. "You can't keep me in here."

Danzo merely looked at him impassively before shutting the door in his face.

* * *

Sasuke waited and waited for the Third Hokage to enter the cell after Danzo, but Sarutobi never came. He paced furiously from corner to corner of the confined area, his rage and anxiety building with every minute that passed uninterrupted. After a while, the exertion and stress took its toll on his body, and Sasuke succumbed to a fitful sleep. He awoke to the smell of something sweet wafting through the air and noticed that a tray with oatmeal, honey and toast had been placed onto the table. He hadn't heard anyone enter the room.

Sasuke spent the next—hours? days?—alternatively fuming, sleeping, and eating. Every time he slept, he rose to find that a new meal had been delivered. He decided that either the shinobi bringing him his meals was exceedingly sneaky, or that he was being drugged.

Obviously, the latter was far more likely.

Sasuke was lying on the straw bedding provided for him, staring dejectedly at the ceiling when he heard the telltale creak of the door to his cell opening. He held his breath and remained stationary as the door swung open and watched as the Third entered, carrying a tray in one hand.

He abruptly sat up.

"Good morning," Sarutobi said as he glanced at the plate still sitting on the table, food cold and untouched. "Not hungry, I see."

Sasuke glared.

Sarutobi took a seat and set the new tray next to the plate from the previous night. "In case you were wondering, it's been a week. The Chunin Exams have begun. The preliminaries were completed earlier today and the remaining combatants will spend the next month preparing for the final round."

Sasuke's brow furrowed as he quickly calculated the passage of time in his head. The exams would have begun several days after his confrontation with the Third. The second phase in the Forest of Death took three days, and the preliminaries...

"As you can see, it's too late for you to be admitted as a candidate."

The look of concentration on Sasuke's face morphed into bitter irritation, but he bit his tongue to keep from saying anything—if he hadn't learned his lesson by then, Sasuke figured he probably never would.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Who cared about food? Why was Sarutobi talking about the exams at all instead of bringing up the massacre? Why had he waited a week to talk to him? Why? Just... why? The questions were on the tip of his tongue, ready and willing to spill into the air and Sasuke nearly burst from the desire to ask them. Before he could succumb to the need to speak, Sasuke noticed how the Third was looking at him with calculated eyes and it dawned on him that it was a ploy. Sarutobi was taunting him—he wanted Sasuke to ask first, to show his hand and reveal exactly how much he knew.

Sasuke may have had questions, but he was done talking.

The two shinobi sat in silence, staring uncomfortably at one another for some time before Sarutobi realized that Sasuke wasn't going to speak.

Frowning, Sarutobi folded his hands on the table. "Itachi..." he began, "So you already know, then."

Sasuke did not outwardly react, but both knew he was paying rapt attention.

"I wish that events had unfolded differently. We—myself, the council, and Itachi especially—did what we thought must be done to protect the village."

"My clan—my mother, my father, my _family_—deserved protection," Sasuke said heatedly. "Why does everyone else in the village deserve to live in peace without ever knowing what was sacrificed for it?"

"Was the Uchiha's coup d'etat worth the lives of countless people? Was their desire for power worth starting a fourth shinobi war?" Sarutobi countered. "The villagers believe that the Uchiha clan was unjustly massacred."

They _were_, Sasuke wanted to say, but Sarutobi continued speaking and Sasuke bit his tongue harder instead.

"They believe that the Uchihas were wronged and have no knowledge of their planned insurrection or of their betrayal. If your clan's plotting had reached fruition, they would have been loathed, regardless of the outcome. Is that what you would have wanted?"

The glare never left Sasuke's face and he tightly clenched his jaw in lieu of replying. Even if Sasuke wanted to talk, he was hesitant to test the boundaries of Danzo's seal. He supposed it was possible that the curse would allow him to speak with the Hokage; Danzo hadn't been very forthcoming about the limitations of the juinjutsu.

"There were no innocents in this. I only wish that I had been able to think of another way before it was too late. For that, I am truly sorry."

Sasuke would have snorted if he wasn't so angry. It was unbelievable. If he was _truly sorry,_ he wouldn't have done it. If he was truly sorry, he would have tried harder. Sorry meant nothing. Being sorry didn't change anything. Being sorry didn't bring the dead back to life. Sarutobi could go on being sorry until the day he died—which was coming up rather soon, wasn't it?

"I don't know who really told you, Sasuke, but I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Itachi begged us to keep the truth from you because he did not want you to be ashamed of your clan. He wanted you to remain proud of your heritage and proud of your status as an Uchiha. Your brother would rather have had you hate himself instead of anyone else involved. I am not sure if Itachi ever really considered that you would turn your anger on the village itself... perhaps it seemed like an unthinkable option to someone like him," Sarutobi sighed. "I think I understand a little more about why you've been acting out..."

The Third looked to see if the younger boy was acknowledging the validity of his words, but Sasuke had the same stony, defiant expression on his face. At least he seemed to have gotten his temper under control.

"Sasuke, I'm sure you know that only a select few have knowledge of the massacre. However... I'm beginning to suspect that more people know than we previously thought. How, I don't know. You won't tell me who you talked to, but have you considered the possibility that they may have altered some of the facts?"**  
**  
Sarutobi waited for a response—there was none, of course—before continuing. "Have you thought about why someone would tell you about the massacre, and what they could possibly gain from it?"

"I'm not being manipulated," Sasuke spat, sullen that the Third's insinuation seemed to have hit a nerve.

"I never said that."

There was a lull in the conversation before the Hokage spoke again. "You know, considering the lengths you went to get into the exams, you're taking the news rather well. You were quite adamant that you needed to be there—at this one specifically. Why?"

"..."

"Answer me, Sasuke, or you're going to stay in this cell until the completion of the Exams. If you can give me a good reason—a real reason—for why you wanted to participate in the Chunin Exams, I'll see to it that you can attend the final rounds as a spectator."

As the offer left his lips, Sarutobi noted how the Uchiha suddenly looked much more interested in the conversation.

Sasuke's eyes had initially lit up at The Third's words, but his burgeoning interest was mixed with trepidation. If he couldn't come up with a good answer, he'd be stuck there until the end of the Chunin Exams. With Sarutobi dead and Danzo in charge of his fate, there was a very good chance that he'd never be let out at all. Ever.

"I just wanted to become a chunin."

Sarutobi's mouth formed a tight, disappointed line. "If that was the case, you still would be refusing to cooperate with me. Obviously the mere prospect of attending the Exams is enough to motivate you. You don't want to be _in _the Exams—you want to be _at_ the Exams. Why is that?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but the question left him off-balance. He wasn't sure how to respond—so he didn't.

"Is there someone you are expecting to meet there, Sasuke?"

Sasuke froze. Meet someone? What? The snake-like face of Orochimaru immediately sprang to mind, and he relaxed at the visualization. The Third couldn't possibly be suspicious of Orochimaru—but then, hadn't Konoha been aware of Orochimaru's presence the last time around? The sannin hadn't been particularly subtle about his plans. In fact, the only real mysteries had centered around his motivation and his alliance with Sand. This realization made Sasuke uneasy, but he rationalized that Sarutobi had no reason to suspect any connection between himself and Orochimaru in this timeline. Why Sarutobi would think that he was meeting with anyone was a mystery.

The Hokage seemed to puff up with satisfaction at Sasuke's silence, and it occurred to him that Sarutobi probably didn't know anything and simply planned on having Sasuke followed at the finals to figure out why he wanted to be there. Well, he'd certainly be in for a surprise.

Belatedly, Sasuke said, "I... If I can't participate, at least I'll be able to observe. I don't want to miss any opportunities to increase my chances of passing. The sooner I'm chunin, the sooner I can get out of Team Seven."

"I see."

Sasuke tensed at the aloof response. The Hokage obviously didn't believe him; in all fairness, it was a shoddy excuse. Sasuke wracked his brain to come up with something better, all the while preparing for the Third to shoot his next reason down just as ruthlessly—but his strategizing came to a surprising halt when the Third merely nodded at him.

"Tomorrow, you will meet Ebisu and the rest of your team at the gates at 8AM sharp. Do not be late. The four of you will be leaving the village to train for the rest of the month. Upon your return, I expect an outstanding report showcasing growth in your ability to collectively cooperate and function as a unit by the end of the month. If I'm satisfied with the results, the three of you will be allowed to attend the finals as spectators."  
**  
**Sasuke gawked at him. That was it? He was being let go—just like that? That was—Sasuke almost asked why, but he managed to stop himself. If the Hokage wanted to let him out, well, who was he to argue?

Even so, something didn't sit right with him. The Third obviously wasn't worried about Sasuke spreading his knowledge of the massacre around. Danzo's cursed seal took care of that—at best, Sasuke could only relay half of the story, at least until he figured out how to break the seal. Would he be unable to talk about the massacre entirely because it involved Danzo, or could he just not mention Danzo's involvement? He wanted to test the limitations, but there was no way he was saying anything more to Sarutobi—if he even counted.

The Hokage rose from his seat and opened the door to the cell as he spoke. "I understand that you're upset. But even you must realize that threatening to disrupt the peace would do nothing but destroy everything your brother sought to accomplish. Whatever you think you know... You know nothing, Sasuke. If you want knowledge—the truth—prove to me that you deserve it. Prove that you can handle the answers to your questions without acting rashly, and without spitting in the faces of those who only want what's best for you."

As he exited the room, Sarutobi left the door wide open as an invitation to leave. Sasuke was hesitant to follow after the Hokage right off the bat, but after a few minutes he became paranoid that the door would snap shut on him and he ran out of the cell.

* * *

Sasuke cracked open the fridge—his small, achingly empty fridge—and cringed as his stomach growled loudly. There hadn't been much food left to begin with, and after a week of incarceration and even longer since he had last gone grocery shopping, the amount of edible food in his kitchen was pitiful. Maybe he shouldn't have skipped his last few meals after all.

Sasuke briefly considered heading somewhere to eat out before he opted to just stop by the market instead. Hopefully, he'd be less likely to run into someone he knew there. He really was not in the mood to socialize.

Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke was halfway through his hasty shopping spree when he spotted a headful of pink hair. Sakura was browsing through the fruit and vegetable aisles, cradling a small brown bagful of apples in one arm. He halted in his tracks at the sight; she hadn't seemed to notice him, and he contemplated leaving right then and there. Irritation swept through him at the impulse; why should _he _have to leave? Couldn't she just leave him alone for once in his life?

"S-Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke sighed. So much for leaving.

Sakura was looking over at him from across several crates of fruit, her mouth hanging slightly open and surprise evident on her face. Composing herself, she cautiously walked around the barrier seperating them and stopped several feet away.

She stared at the the collar of his shirt when she spoke. "Naruto's been looking for you all week."

"Hn."

Her eyes flickered to his face for a moment before her gaze returned to somewhere below his chin. She continued to stand there, uncomfortably tense but unwilling to leave, until Sasuke grew irritated enough to walk away.

"Wait!"

Sasuke stopped walking and grudgingly glanced over his shoulder to look at her.

Hesitantly, Sakura began to speak, but the words died on her lips and she trembled before trying again. "Why..."

Sasuke looked around the marketplace as she spoke, keenly aware of the villagers around them. She wasn't _really _going to talk about this now—in public—was she?

"Why would you tell them... Why did you say those things about Kakashi-sensei?"

Of course Sakura would. Why wasn't he surprised?

Turning away from her, he grabbed head of lettuce and haphazardly stuffed it into the cart he was carrying. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

When Sakura began sniffling quietly to herself in response, Sasuke looked back at her and was surprised to see several tears running down her cheeks.

"Stop it," Sasuke said, the order coming out harsher than intended. "You're in the middle of the market."

Sakura's head whipped up and she finally looked him in the eyes. Although her cheeks were still wet, she had stopped crying was glaring at him instead. "Sasuke-kun, I've always thought you were so smart and brave and confident..." She trailed off and shook her head. "And I still do. But..." Sakura bit her lip. "You might be a good ninja, but you're a real jerk!"

Sasuke stared at her. Did Sakura just insult him—and in public, no less? That was new. New, but equally annoying.

He must have muttered the thought under his breathe, because suddenly Sakura was bristling and had the same look in her eyes that she'd get right before clocking Naruto over the head.

"I'm... annoying?" Sakura repeated, her voice low and foreboding. "Well, at least I'm not a _liar_!"

Sasuke hadn't been paying much attention to her as she spoke—if he had been, he would have seen her hand snake into the bag she was carrying. Instead, Sasuke barely dodged the apple that she hurled at his face. The apple sailed over his shoulder and landed in the crate of tomatoes behind him, several of the fruits falling to the floor from the force of the impact.

Sasuke continued to stare after Sakura as she turned tail and ran out of the market. Several passing villagers watched as she fled and then looked over at Sasuke reproachfully before going back to their shopping.

Shaking himself, Sasuke picked up one of the tomatoes that had rolled onto the floor and gently placed it into his cart.

This was going to be a _very _long month.

* * *

**A/N:** Certain things will make more sense, um... Soon. In defense of Sasuke's bouts of rashness and emotional upheavals... *points towards later manga chapters* Also, I guess it's now canon that the Sharingan is literally strengthened through the power of emo. So there's that too.


	13. Wax On, Wax Off

**Chapter 13: Wax On, Wax Off**

* * *

As Sasuke neared the massive gates leading out of Konoha, the first sign that his teammates were already waiting for him came in the form of a feminine screech. He was still a block away, but the shrill sound of Sakura's voice rang clear through the air.

"I _told _you already, nothing's wrong!"

"It's okay! I'll protect you from now on-"

"Just shut up!"

"Ow, Sakura..."

Sasuke approached them with intentionally heavy steps, indirectly announcing his arrival. Two pairs of eyes snapped towards him, but only one looked happy to see him.

"Oye, Sasuke!" Naruto gave a brief wave and smiled cheerfully. The gesture earned him a swift glare from Sakura, but he either didn't notice or didn't care as he continued to walk towards Sasuke. Lowering his voice, he said, "Am I glad you're here."

"Hn."

"Where the heck have _you _been all week? I couldn't find you anywhere!"

Sasuke shrugged. "Around."

"Yeah, well, it's been totally boring. No training, no missions, Iruka-sensei's been busy all week, and Sakura..." Naruto trailed off. "Everything I do just makes her mad. I heard she got in a really big fight with her parents, and Iruka-sensei says to just give her some space, but I don't know," He paused for a moment, looking mildly upset. "I don't understand what's going on at all. Everyone keeps saying something different and I really don't know what to believe."

Naruto stopped talking and Sasuke became uncomfortably aware that Naruto was looking for some kind of guidance. The thought itself made Sasuke strangely anxious, and he fought the urge to shift in place.

"It doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Sasuke said after a moment. "It doesn't change anything. What's done is done."

"I guess that's true..."  
**  
**Naruto looked back over at Sakura, who was fuming silently some ways away from them. From her closed-off body language and her unsuccessful attempt at pretending that neither of them were present, it was obvious that Sakura was eavesdropping on their conversation.

Naruto took a few steps towards her anyway. "Hey, Sakura..."  
**  
**"What do you want _now_?" she snapped.

Recoiling slightly from the harshness of her voice, Naruto said, "Are you _sure_ you're o-"

Naruto's question was interrupted as Sakura darted forward and bashed him soundly across the back of his head. "I said stop asking me that already! It's annoying!"

Naruto watched Sakura stomp away again with a wistful expression. "But Sakura-"

"Just leave her alone," Sasuke said. "Let her go whine somewhere else."

Sakura jerked her head towards Sasuke, eyes blazing. "Shut up, Sasuke-kun!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Sakura's eyes widened almost comically in surprise and she quickly looked away.

"There you are," A voice called out from behind them, and Sasuke turned to see a man in standard shinobi gear walking towards the gates. "Good. All three of you are on time."

"Not _him!_" Naruto groaned as soon as Ebisu reached them. "This guy's just a closet pervert. He's even weaker than me!"

"Stop being rude!" Sakura raised her fist menacingly before dropping her hand back down, apparently unwilling to move close enough to hit him again.

Closet... pervert? Sasuke gave their new instructor a quick onceover: aside from the dark bandanna covering his head and the pair of sunglasses shielding his eyes from view, the man looked rather ordinary. Sasuke _might _have seen the guy before in passing, but he wasn't entirely sure. At any rate, Sasuke wasn't particularly impressed with him, but at least he wasn't Kakashi.  
**  
**"I am Ebisu. I will be your instructor until further notice, and I expect you to treat me with the same amount of respect that you gave Kakashi-"—Sasuke's lips quirked into a smirk—"-and I will accept nothing less than absolute obedience. The three of you have already been informed of the goals of this month's excursion. Normally, teamwork is promoted through co-operative low-rank missions, but you three are so far below the standard expectations for your level that Dr. Shigure recommended we resort to more basic methods."

Finished, Ebisu reached into the large pack on his back and retrieved a book. On the cover was a picture of three Academy age children huddled next to each other with their instructor posed standing over them. In a way, it almost resembled Team Seven's old photo—except in this one, the camera seemed to have snapped right as someone finished relaying some private joke and all four faces were laughing and smiling fondly at one another. Across the top the textbook, the title read "Teaching Teamwork: Cooperative Skill-Building Exercises."  
**  
**Sasuke grimaced at the sight.

* * *

"Chapter One: Self-Assessment," Ebisu began, eyes fixed on the open book he held stiffly in his hand. "You will begin by verbally recognizing your own limitations and identifying your strengths so that you are better able to contribute to the formation of a well-functioning team. I want each of you to tell the group at least one of your strengths and one of your weaknesses."

All three students stared petulantly up at Ebisu.

Their short trek to the Hot Spring Town had been beyond awful, and if that was to be any indication of what Ebisu had in store for them, Sasuke was legitimately considering just knocking himself out for the rest of the month. Naruto spent the entire trip badgering Ebisu about being a pervert, Sakura managed to bring a whole new meaning to the term bitchy, and when Naruto whipped out his Sexy no Jutsu, everyone had collectively snapped.

Honestly, Sasuke was surprised that Ebisu hadn't turned around and marched them straight back to Konoha. He deserved some credit for that, at least.

"Sakura, you begin."

The pink-haired girl nodded. "Well, I consistently scored high on tests at the Academy and I have an aptitude for genjutsu. And for my weakness..." Her gaze dropped in concentration before she looked back up at Ebisu with a satisfied expression. "My chakra reserves are low and my stamina could use some work."

"Wonderful example, Sakura," Ebisu said. "Naruto, you're next."

Without much thought, Naruto promptly struck a cocky pose and grinned. "I'm going to be the strongest ninja ever!"

"That's not a strength," Sakura corrected.

Ebisu silenced her with a curt wave of his hand. "And a weakness, Naruto?"

"Uh..." He paused, scratching his head. "I don't have any weaknesses! Believe it!"

Sasuke doubted Naruto actually 'believed' that; he was just too lazy to come up with a real answer.

Ebisu gave him a stern look. "Naruto-"

"How about 'being annoying'?" Sakura quipped.

Sasuke snorted softly to himself. "You _would _be the expert on that, wouldn't you?"

Sakura's lips pinched together tightly, but she refused to look at him and said nothing in response. For whatever reason, Sakura had been trying her hardest not to lash out at him on the trip there regardless of what he said or did. Sasuke had a feeling that she didn't _want _to be mad at him, and in her efforts to ignore her feelings, she inadvertently ended up taking out all of her misplaced aggression on Naruto instead. Sasuke found the whole situation oddly entertaining and it quickly turned into a game for him.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Naruto sighed. "My chakra control isn't that great, I guess."

"Good," Ebisu cleared his throat loudly. "And you, Sasuke?"

This was ridiculous.

"I have a goal, and nothing will stop me from achieving it," Sasuke bit out. His goals might be a little vague at the moment, but it was essentially true. "I'm motivated."

"And..."

Everyone stared at him expectantly.

"..Sometimes I don't know my own strength."

Sasuke swore he saw Sakura's whole frame twitch out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

"Chapter Two: Promoting Healthy Team Dynamics," Ebisu flipped the page of his textbook. "This chapter focuses on recognizing the strengths of your teammates, promoting a positive atmosphere, fostering trust and inclusiveness, and identifying similarities between one another," Ebisu read aloud. "To begin with, I want you to identify a positive attribute of each of your teammates. Naruto, why don't you go first this time?"

"Positive attribute?"

"Something good about them," Ebisu clarified.

"I got it!" Naruto snapped his fingers together. "Sasuke's my friend and Sakura's pretty!"

"Those aren't strengths, Naruto."

"Oh, um... Sasuke's really good at jutsus, and Sakura's really smart."

"Sufficient," Ebisu nodded. "And for you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke thought about taking the easy way out—Naruto was tenacious, Sakura was good at genjutsu—but...

"Naruto works hard to make up for his lack of skill in certain areas..." Sasuke began. "And Sakura's good at knowing when to stay out of the way."

He watched with mild amusement as Sakura immediately tensed up—her face had always been overly animated, every emotion constantly on display for all the world to see. It was a terrible quality for a ninja, really. Sakura's control over her expressions seemed to be improving, though: whatever anger she felt flickered across her face only briefly before it was replaced with a superficial smile.

"Your turn, Sakura."

"Yes, sensei," The pink-haired genin continued smiling serenely at Ebisu while refusing to look at either of her teammates. "Naruto's blindingly loyal to his friends, even when they haven't done anything to deserve it, and Sasuke... " She paused. "Sasuke is still the top ninja in our graduating class. I'm sure that with a little more work, he might even be recommended for chunin someday."

"Thanks, Sakura!" Naruto grinned.

Sasuke just glared, marginally less amused.

* * *

"Chapter Seven: Communication," Ebisu read.

The special jonin reached down into the large duffel bag at his side and began pulling out the materials for their next activity. He tossed them each piece of paper, a pencil, and two plastic bags—the first of which contained with a large bundle of toothpicks. The second was filled to the brim with dozens and dozens of small, fluffy marshmallows.

"Using only the materials provided, I want the three of you to separate from each other and create a construct. The only requirements are that you use all of the materials given in some fashion. Afterwards, please write down the instructions someone would need to follow if they were to reconstruct your creation. I'd recommend being as clear and concise as possible," Ebisu advised.

Sasuke stared down in dismay at the bag of marshmallows as if personally offended by its presence. Ebisu had to be joking. Sasuke considered voicing a complaint, although it was probably unnecessary—the expression on his face alone was worth a thousand words —but Naruto beat him to the punch.  
**  
**"We're ninjas, not five-year-olds," Naruto complained. "How the heck is this supposed to help us with.. well, _anything_?"

"Hmph," Ebisu pushed up the frames of his sunglasses. "No questions, no complaints. All three of you _will _participate. I'd hate to have to give The Third a negative report at the end of the month. He'd be very displeased, no doubt."

Ebisu glanced meaningfully at Sasuke as he finished, and the younger ninja sighed inwardly. Between the musical chairs, the scavenger hunt and now whatever the hell this was supposed to be, it was abundantly clear to Sasuke that this entire excursion had been designed solely to torment him.  
**  
**"Who cares about that?" Naruto said, tossing his bag of marshmallows in the air and catching it before it hit the ground. "The Chunin Exams are probably boring anyway. If I'm not gonna be fighting, I don't see what the big deal is."

"Naruto."

The blonde looked over at Sasuke in surprise. After a questioning glance from the former and a blank but telling look from Sasuke, Naruto shrugged. "Eh, whatever."  
**  
**Grudgingly, Sasuke stomped off with his materials; after locating a shady spot away from his teammates, he tossed the bags haphazardously onto the grass.

One hundred toothpicks and a plastic bag full of marshmallows. He could make... absolutely nothing useful. And if it wasn't useful, what exactly was the point? What could you even _make _with marshmallows and a bunch of sticks?

As he sat sat cross-legged on the ground and stared sullenly at the materials in front of him, Sasuke was never more keenly aware that he was a sixteen-year-old trapped in a twelve-year-old's body.

After much staring and sulking, Sasuke eventually managed to put something together that vaguely resembled a reconstruction of the Uchiha compound's layout. Well, at least that's what he had attempted to do before running out of toothpicks halfway through.

Ebusi arrived to collect him just as he finished fabricating a set of instructions, and the three genin gathered once more around their instructor.**  
**  
"Now, each of you are going to attempt to recreate one of your teammates constructions with verbal directions only," Ebisu instructed. "Naruto, grab a fresh kit. Sakura, you will be instructing him on how to recreate your construct. Next, Sasuke will be instructing Sakura, and then Naruto will be instructing Sasuke."

* * *

"No, not like that, Naruto! What part of a forty degree angle don't you understand?"

"Um... the forty degree angle part?"

Sakura growled in frustration. "Look, just take out all of the toothpicks and—No, _don't_ put that there! Stop it!"

"You've already made me restart _four _times, Sakura," Naruto whined. "This is taking forever."

"We wouldn't be having this problem if you actually listened for once."

"I _am _listening!"

"Well, you aren't very good at it, are you?"

* * *

"You're doing it wrong."

Sakura stopped and placed the toothpick in at a different angle.

"You're doing it wrong," Sasuke repeated.

Grumbling, Sakura forcefully removed the stick from the marshmallow and stabbed it into another part of the fixture.

"You're _still _doing it wrong."

"Then tell me how to do it right!" She ground out as placidly as she could manage as her grip on the stick tightened.

"I already did."

The toothpick snapped in half.

* * *

"Okay, now separate the marshmallows into two piles."

Sasuke did so and Naruto gave him a quick thumbs up before continuing. "Now eat the first pile."

"What?" Sasuke paused, scowling. "Did you actually write that down?"

"Well..."

"I'm not eating them. I don't even like sweets."

"Whatever!" Naruto said, lips settling into a pout. "You're not very good at following directions, Sasuke. Anyway, take that one piece... and attach it to that other piece."

When Sasuke just stared at him blankly, Naruto added, "It doesn't really matter which one."

"Now attach _that _piece to _that _piece over there, on the leftish side of the middle, and take that other piece and make a marshmallow shish kebab—er, wait, Sasuke, you're using too many marshmallows!"

After five excruciatingly long minutes, Sasuke decided that Naruto's instructions were obviously a lost cause and that he gave approximately zero fucks about completing the taskcorrectly. He promptly began putting the sticks and marshmallows together randomly until he ran out of materials and finished in a quarter of the time it took his teammates. In the end, his marshmallow-and-toothpick masterpiece resembled its target about as well as Sakura and Naruto's had.

"This is how poor communication kills," Ebisu said as he made a wide gesture towards Team Seven's three pitiful marshmallow productions. "Clear communication is a skill that is exceedingly important for shinobi. Although your commands may seem concise and to the point, words can easily be misinterpreted. It's important to build high levels of trust and understanding with your teammates. The ability to flow in sync on the battlefield is something that is fostered carefully over time, but you cannot hope to master it without the proper foundations."

Satisfied with his lecture and without further preamble, Ebisu kneeled down and began shuffling through the large duffel bag once more. If he pulled out another package of marshmallows, Sasuke was going to kill someone.

And it was probably going to be Ebisu.

Fortunately, when Ebisu rose to face them, the objects he was clutching had nothing to do with building marshmallow towers**.**

"Here. Put these on."

Sasuke skeptically eyed the bright orange goggles that had been thrust into his hands.

"Eh?" Naruto dangled the pair he had been handed by the straps before scratching his head in confusion.

"They're _goggles_, Naruto," Sakura rolled her eyes. "You know, things you put over your eyes-"

"Sakura, sarcasm is _not _conducive to successful teamwork," Ebisu chided.

Naruto, for his part, remained seemingly unaware of Sakura's heightened annoyance with anything and everything having to do with him. Although Naruto probably didn't know the real cause of her bad mood, Sasuke had a strong suspicion that Naruto's obliviousness was more than a little intentional.

"Hey, sensei," Naruto said, "What are these for?"

Sasuke continued to stare at the goggles with disdain. "And why are they _orange_?"

Seriously. He wasn't going to wear them.

Ebisu ignored the questioning looks of his students and proceeded to pull out three large pouches, tossing one to each of them. The three students opened them simultaneously and found that each pouch was filled with small, spherical white balls. Sasuke lifted one to his nose and took a quick whiff.

"Paint?"

"Yes," Ebisu nodded. "Paint pellets."

This, of course, beautifully illustrated exactly why Sasuke did not regret leaving Konoha for Sound. Orochimaru's version of training involved coaxing him into practicing his jutsus on dozens and dozens of lower class ninjas, preferably with intent to kill—which he never did, much to his master's disappointment.

Konoha's version of training...

Ebisu pulled out three large, well-crafted slingshots. "Each of you take one."

...involved paintball fights.

Sasuke sighed. "_This _is in your book?"

"It most certainly is," Ebisu sniffed. "Stop questioning me."

Why did that sound like utter bullshit to him?

"The rules are simple," their instructor continued as he handed over the slingshots. "Three versus one free-for-all until I end the game, or until everyone runs out of ammo. You may not use substitution or clones and you must remain within 100 yards of this clearing at all times. At the end of the game, if I have been hit collectively more than all three of you combined, you win."

"All three of us?" Naruto said. "That'll be a piece of cake!"

Ebisu smiled at him. "I'm no easy opponent. You're going to have to work together if you want to win this. Oh, and if you lose, we're spending the next five hours doing laps and you can forget about eating supper tonight."

"This is just like Kakashi-sensei's stupid bell test..." Naruto grumbled.

"Ready..."

Sakura glared. "Kakashi-sensei's bell test is _not _stupid."

"You're just saying that because-"

"Set..."

"You better not finish that sentence, Naruto, or I'll-"

"Fire."

Sakura's words were cut short as a pellet forcefully collided with Naruto's chest, splattering paint across his jumper.

Naruto scowled up at Ebisu, who already had another pellet placed in the sling. "You cheater!"

"Naruto, just shut up and move!"  
**  
**The four ninjas scattered, and Sasuke spent the next ten minutes darting from tree to tree, slingshot taut and the pouch of paint pellets secured firmly at his side. He hadn't had much practice using a slingshot, but aiming was incredibly easy and he had already landed several solid hits on Ebisu. The tokubetsu jonin wasn't nearly as fast as their previous sensei. Three against one—really, what _had _Ebisu been thinking? This wasn't even a real fight. At least Kakashi's bell test had involved actual sparring; this type of game really only depended on speed and accuracy, and Sasuke alone was giving Ebisu a run for his money.

Sasuke spotted Ebisu out of the corner of his eye and stopped moving, his body hidden high beneath the leaves as he took careful aim at the man who was currently facing away from him. He stretched the thick rubber of the sling back and let the paintball fly, but at the last second his hand jolted and the shot went flying into the air as he took a huge knock to the back. The wind left his chest and he nearly lost his balance on the branch; completely caught off guard, Sasuke whipped around in time to see Naruto posed similarly several trees away. Catching his eye, the blonde stuck out his tongue for a moment before snickering and running off. Sasuke just stood on the branch as he watched Naruto flee, completely bewildered. What the—what had he missed _now_?

"Sasuke-kun!"

Another paintball whizzed past his left side, nearly brushing his shoulder; Sasuke followed the trajectory of the pellet and spotted Sakura standing a few yards below, crouching low beneath a bush.

"You guys ruin _everything_. Can't you follow the rules just once?"

Sasuke gaped at her. What the hell was she talking about? He _was _following the rules!

Sasuke jumped away, moving from branch to branch and Sakura rose from her hiding spot to pursue him, angrily looking around with her slingshot in hand. Sakura raised her arm to take aim at him again but was blindsided by a paintball to the face, and she staggered sharply to her left, stunned.

Ouch. That looked like it hurt.

"_Naruto!_" She screamed, stressing the last vowel of his name as she darted off after him, Sasuke momentarily forgotten.

Apparently, Sasuke was the _only _one following the rules.

From what he later gathered, Ebisu had henged into each of them and fired off a few rounds, intentionally missing, and it hadn't taken a whole lot to get them to turn on each other. In all honesty, it was a little embarrassing. Sasuke was fairly certain that by the end of the game, Naruto and Sakura weren't even trying to dodge as they went to town on each other and both genin managed to unload the rest of their paintballs in a matter of minutes.

Not long after, Ebisu called time, and the four moved to reconvene at their starting location. **  
**  
Ebisu gave each of them a slow once-over, significantly pausing between each glance. "I could total up the hits, but I doubt there'd be any point."

"He started it, sensei!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke, who stared back at him dubiously in response.

"You _both _started it," Sakura glared. "Neither of you even care about training and I'm sick of you getting me into trouble, Naruto!"

Sasuke scoffed at that. "You were firing at Naruto just as much."

"Yeah! Don't blame me!" Naruto nodded vigorously in agreement. "I was just defending myself!"

Ebisu said nothing; the jonin reached into his pocket and before Sasuke could figure out what he had retrieved, Ebisu tossed it to the ground. The object exploded on impact and covered the four shinobi in a fine sheen of dust. As the powder settled, the paint covering their bodies slowly changed from white to very distinct blotches of blue, pink, orange, and green.

"Oh..." Sakura bit her lip. "They're color-coded."

"Indeed."

Sasuke glanced around and quickly took inventory: Naruto had one large green spot in the center of the chest, but the green was nearly overwhelmed by the colossal amount of pink encompassing most of his clothing. Sakura herself was effectively sprayed orange, and Ebisu had only been hit half a dozen times—all six of the shots were blue.

"Um, sensei," Sakura continued hesitantly, "There's only one green mark. Does that mean..."

"You didn't fire at us at all?" Naruto asked.

Ebisu folded his arms together and gave them a condescending smirk. "I didn't need to."

They spent the rest of the night doing laps.

* * *

**A/N:** I ended up splitting this section into two chapters... again. There was originally more plottishness going on, but oh well. Sorry, I had an image of Sasuke huddling around a carefully constructed marshmallow-and-toothpick tower, looking a whole lot more absorbed than he'd like to believe. It just wouldn't go away.  
Jiraiya ahoy.


	14. Game Changer

**Chapter 14: Game Changer  
**

* * *

The next morning, the three genin woke up sore, thoroughly exhausted and speckled with paint. They hadn't gotten a chance to bathe before collapsing the night before, and although Sakura had tried to scrub her skin raw, her face was still very orange. As a small reprieve—even Ebisu thought they looked rather pitiful—their instructor escorted them to the hotsprings the next morning.

Ebisu himself refrained from accompanying them inside; when Sasuke and Naruto eventually exited the bathhouse after a thorough soak, they found their instructor alert, his attention focused on the women's bathhouse.

"I told you he was just a lech," Naruto grumbled as they made their way to Ebisu. "Hey, closet pervert-"

"There you are!" Ebisu loudly called out as he took several long strides towards the women's bathhouse. An older man with a large frame and long, shaggy white hair was kneeling near the side of the building, thoroughly engrossed as he peered through the cracks of the wall. The man cringed at the sound of Ebisu's voice, and he threw a quick glare from over his shoulder.

"I was hoping to find you here, Master Jiraiya. If you could please-"

Before Ebisu could so much as breathe, the newcomer had summoned a massive orange toad; in one fell swoop, Jiraiya was poised smugly on the back of his summon and Ebisu was unconscious on the floor.

"Man, keep it down, would you?" Jiraiya said. "You tryin' to get me caught or what?"

Sasuke took another look at Ebisu, whose mouth hung open as he lay prostrate on his stomach. He wasn't particularly surprised that their instructor had been taken down that fast. Naruto, on the other hand, was gaping at the man sitting atop the frog summon with awestruck eyes.

"Th-that guy just knocked out our trainer! Did you see that, Sasuke?!"

Sasuke nudged Ebisu lightly with his foot and shrugged.

"Hey you!" Naruto pointed, catching the older man's attention. "Frog guy! What was that all about, and who the hell are you, anyway?"

Sasuke watched, bemused, as Jiraiya immediately adopted a huge grin and posed dramatically on top of the frog summon.

"I'm glad you asked! I'm the hermit of Mt. Myoboku, the wise and immortal spirit; that's right, it is I, the Toad Mountain Sage!"

"What?" Naruto said. "Toad sage?"

Recognition hit Sasuke a moment later. The frogs, sage mode... this was one of the three legendary Sannin, alongside Orochimaru. Jiraiya was the man who would train Naruto in the future. He vaguely recalled seeing the toad sage once before, somewhere...

Sasuke half-listened as Naruto and Jiraiya engaged in a childish argument about the sannin's not quite socially acceptable hobby (which Naruto insisted was voyeurism and Jiraiya insisted was research). The sannin was easily riled up by Naruto's accusations and quickly sunk down to the blonde's maturity level. Sasuke was almost surprised that someone so... _goofy _could rival Orochimaru, but then he remembered Tobi, and another image entered his mind: an older Naruto, equipped with the deadly Rasengan, whose facade of carelessness dropped when something he loved was threatened.

Maybe it wasn't so surprising after all. If Naruto just ran across this guy by accident, he sure got lucky. Naruto couldn't ask for a better fit for a teacher.

"Yeah, right, pervy sage!" Naruto was shouting. "That's not even the point! This guy's supposed to be training us and you went and knocked him out cold!"

".._Training _us?" Sasuke repeated skeptically, voice deadpan.

"Not my problem, kid," Jiraiya said as he walked past them.

"Hey, where do you think you're going? You can't just leave like that!"

Jiraiya jumped away, landing on the rails of the nearest bridge. "Oh yeah? Just watch me!" With a quick smile, he made a handsign and a huge gust of wind buffeted the two genin. "Besides, I don't even like kids, so save your breath."

"Wow," Naruto said excitedly as Jiraiya floated away and disappeared from view. "That was so cool. I don't care if he's a dirty old pervert, that guy is the real deal!"

Naruto promptly rushed after the sannin, leaving the unconscious Ebisu forgotten on the ground. Sasuke watched Naruto run off and then glanced back at Ebisu before deciding to stroll after him. Sakura was still in the bathhouse, taking her sweet time and probably thanking her lucky stars that she got a break from her team. She could take care of Ebisu.

Naruto spent awhile aimlessly wandering through town, determined to find Jiraiya for... well, Sasuke wasn't entirely sure what Naruto wanted with him, but it was safe to say that it probably had something to do with demanding to be taught new jutsus. Just as Sasuke was beginning to get bored of following him around, a loud, masculine wail caught their attention.

Following the sound, the two genin spotted Jiraiya standing near the entrance to the town's bookstore in front of an open display case, clutching a book of some kind. He was angrily sifting through the pages as the owner of the bookstore tried vainly to calm the sannin down.

"What do you _mean _you don't know anything about the author?"

The owner cleared his throat uncomfortably. "As far as I know, this is his first novel..."

"Oye, pervy sage!"

Jiraiya looked up from the novel as Naruto and Sasuke approached, clearly annoyed. "Not you again. What do you want now, kid?"

Naruto glared back briefly before focusing his eyes on the book in Jiraiya's hands. "What's that?"

"What's _this_?" Jiraiya repeated, shoving the book in Naruto's face. "It's plagiarism, that's what!"

The bookstore owner let out a deep sigh. "Sir, you can't plagiarise a book that hasn't been written yet..."

"Like hell you can't! I've been planning that novel since I finished Icha Icha Paradise. It was going to be my next masterpiece and I have the notes to prove it!"

"Icha... Oh, right," Naruto made a face. "Those nasty books you use as an excuse to peek in the women's bathhouse."

"Right, those—Hey!" Jiraiya whirled towards him, matching the younger boy's glare. "I told you already, kid, my novels aren't nasty. They're celebrated works of art!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," Naruto waved him off.

"The _point _is that someone must have stolen my notes."

"Maybe they just thought of it first?" Naruto shrugged. "Scary to think that there's another disgusting pervert like you out there..."

"I don't buy it!" Jiraiya snapped the book shut. "The twists, the characters, the images... It's a damned blatant rip-off!"

"Excuse me."

The three ninjas' heads snapped towards the new voice, and the weary bookstore owner took the opportunity to quietly retreat while their backs were turned.

Ebisu approached, fully recovered from the earlier assault and Sakura was following a few paces behind, kicking up a fierce cloud of dust as she stomped after him.

"Master Jiraiya, I've been looking for you. If I could speak with you privately..?"

Jiraiya looked Ebisu up and down with a critical eye. "What for?"

Ebisu, sensing his reluctance, pulled out a sealed scroll. "It's confidential, unfortunately." Jiraiya nodded, still suspicious, and Ebisu turned towards the three genin. "I'll be back shortly. Try not to get into too much trouble while I'm detained."

* * *

Jiraiya was not with Ebisu when he finally returned, much to the disappointment of Naruto, who repeatedly asked about the toad sage's whereabouts. Their instructor dismissed his questions, stating that Jiraiya had been summoned by the Hokage and to not worry about it for the time being.

With that, they returned to business as usual and Ebisu's embarrassingly juvenile team-building exercises were resumed. Team Seven suffered through them for another excruciating two days—even Naruto had dropped his usual enthusiastic optimism by the end of it—before their training was interrupted by the reappearance of Jiraiya.

The toad sannin had strolled into the diner just as Team Seven was finishing up lunch, and Naruto broke into a grin at the sight of him.

"Pervy sage!"

Jiraiya waved at the blonde, but his attention was focused on Ebisu, who had risen from his seat and was making his way towards him.

Both men quickly exited the building without a word, leaving the three confused students behind. They returned ten minutes later with solemn expressions and Ebisu cleared his throat expectantly as he approached their table.

"Naruto; Sakura, Sasuke," Ebisu said. "I have some business to attend to. Jiraiya will be taking over your training for the next couple of weeks."

"Yes!" Naruto made a short fist pump, and Sakura frowned at him.

Sasuke stared at the two shinobi with suspicion. Jiraiya, a legendary sannin... taking temporary control over the training of a genin squad from some no-name tokubetsu jonin? It seemed a little odd, but after some contemplation, Sasuke shrugged off his doubts. Something like this must have happened in the past, too. It explained how Naruto had ended up with such a powerful trainer, after all.

With a curt nod, Ebisu departed, leaving them behind with the toad sage. Jiraiya eyed his newly acquired pupils: Sakura was clearly unhappy with the arrangement and was busy sluggishly poking the food on her plate, Sasuke was unreadable, and Naruto...

Jiraiya frowned at the sight of the still accumulating dinner plates next to him. "Uh, Ebisu already paid for your dinner, right?"

Naruto grinned and took another large bite of noodles. "Nope."

* * *

The next morning, they met Jiraiya bright and early just outside of town, all three somewhat eager and intrigued by their new teacher. Their curiosity dried up rather quickly after they saw Ebisu's textbook in Jiraiya's hands.

"Look," Jiraiya held up the Teamwork Building textbook, "I'm not really interested in going over this crap and I don't really have time to play games with you guys. I came here to do research, and I can see from the way you're looking at this-"—he waved the book— "-that you're not really interested either, so I'll tell you what. You tell Ebisu that we went through this whole book, I'll treat you to lunch a few times, and you guys can spend the next two weeks doing whatever you want as long as you leave me alone."

That sounded amazing. Sasuke already liked him.

After a moment, Jiraiya added, "I _will _be keeping an eye on you, though, so don't even think of skipping town."

Sasuke thought the toad sage's eyes stayed on him for a second longer than the others, but that was to be expected and he wasn't particularly bothered by the observation.

"What?" Naruto deflated, disappointment evident. "But what about my training?"

Sakura grabbed his shoulder roughly. "Naruto, you don't actually _want _to go through the rest of that book, do you?"

"Not _that _training! I mean real training! I want to get stronger and this guy can help me, I just know it. If you were just gonna ditch us as soon as Ebisu-sensei left, then why the hell did you even agree to take over in the first place?"

"Don't worry about it, kid," Jiraiya tried dismissing him, but Naruto was having none of it.

"C'mon, if you aren't going to make us do dumb tests, then at least teach us something!"

"Not on your life!"

Sasuke watched with some amusement as Naruto proceeded to both insult and beg Jiraiya for training in the same breath. It obviously hadn't worked because a moment later, Jiraiya vanished with Naruto hot on his heels, leaving Sasuke and Sakura alone. Sakura seemed a bit unsure of what to do with herself but only stood there for a moment before turning tail and heading back into town without looking at him.

Suddenly, Sasuke was alone.

Just how he liked it.

* * *

Sasuke spent some time basking in his newfound solutide before he passed by Naruto in the distance, standing next to a nearby stream—surprisingly, Jiraiya was with him. Somehow, he must have convinced the Toad Sage to train him.

As Sasuke approached, he noticed that the toad sage was kneeling down, peering intently through some bushes as Naruto yelled angrily in his ear. Maybe Naruto hadn't been that successful, after all.

Having lost interest, Sasuke altered his course and walked past the two, leaving them to... whatever it is they were doing. He heard bits and pieces of a conversation as he drew closer:

"There's something we need to discuss before we go any further," Jiraiya was saying. "I don't think you're aware of it, but you possess two chakras within you."

Sasuke paused, his steps faltering for a moment. Two chakras? Was he talking about the nine-tailed beast? Well, Sasuke already knew about that...

"Huh? two?" Naruto said.

"Haven't you ever felt the presence of a different chakra?"

Naruto paused for a moment before shaking his head. "Nope."

"...Oh. Er, well..."

Their voices faded as Sasuke continued to walk past.

For a moment Sasuke had considered joining them, but then he recognized the beginnings of something he couldn't name and was suddenly unwilling to intrude. It was in the way they spoke—the way both Jiraiya and Naruto seemed comfortable and at ease with one another almost immediately after meeting. An easy rapport had already been established between them, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel like his own presence was unwarranted, like he was intruding on something he was never meant to be apart of.

The next two weeks passed by in a blur; the days melted into each other one by one until the finals were nearly upon them. All things considered, Sasuke was feeling pretty good: he was away from most familiar faces, no one was bothering him, and for the most part he was left unsupervised. Even Naruto was engrossed in his own training most of the time and Sakura was rarely spotted outside of town. Sasuke was free to focus on his own skills, although for the most part, he was limited to fine tuning his reflexes and increasing his control and chakra reserves. Regardless, it was one step closer to being able to successfully wield his more advance jutsus.

More than once, he stumbled upon Naruto attempting a summoning jutsu. The frogs he managed to call were regular sized and not nearly as impressive as Jiraiya's, but the display had piqued his interest. Sasuke had tried the summoning jutsu himself, for the hell of it, but there had been no response. He hadn't expected anything, since he hadn't signed a contract in this world... but a hawk showing up would have been a pleasant surprise. It had been worth a shot.

Near the end of the month—Sasuke calculated that the finals were, at most, five days away—Ebisu had shown up, surprising everyone save Jiraiya.

Team Seven had been rounded up and with the arrival of Ebisu, Jiraiya announced to the group that he was leaving. Naruto had predictably thrown a fit, and even Sakura seemed disappointed with Ebisu's return.

This was most likely because the first thing out of Ebisu's mouth was about their "lessons."

Grabbing the textbook from Jiraiya, Ebisu asked, "How have they fared these last two weeks?"

"Oh, you know," Jiraiya said. "A pain in the ass, but what can you do?"

"Hmph," Ebisu pushed his sunglasses high on the bridge of his nose. "Well, I see you've worked through most of the book."

"What book? Ow!"—Sakura jabbed Naruto in the ribs—"Oh, that book. Yeah, it was awful!"

Naruto was frowning at the floor, grumbling to himself, and Jiraiya laughed loudly at the sight. "Buck up, kid. Keep practicing the jutsu I taught you."

"Jutsu?" Ebisu glared.

"Yeah! Uh..." Naruto said. "It's a... team-work building jutsu."

Ebisu's glare deepened, but he said nothing.

"Well, it's been fun, but I've got places to be," Jiraiya waved. "See you around."

With that, the toad sannin left, and Ebisu began spouting off the beginnings of a lecture. Sasuke sighed; he wasn't really going to work them for the next four, five days, was he? And what was so important that he had to run off in the first place, anyway? And why had Jiraiya bothered to watch them? Sasuke assumed he agreed because he planned on spying on the bathhouses the entire time anyway, but it was still a little off.

Much to Sasuke's relief, Ebisu hadn't picked back up with the teamwork building exercises and instead allowed them to continue whatever training they had been working on prior to his return. The remaining days flew by quickly and before they knew it, Team Seven had left the hotsprings and were walking back through the large gates of Konoha.

The journey back was filled with nervous anticipation on Sasuke's part, and when they re-entered town, his mood seemed to by matched by everyone they passed by.

Konoha was in a flurry: even the civilians feverishly chattered amongst themselves on the streets, and people dashed past them without a backward glance. It was controlled chaos, and Sasuke wondered if the town was normally this on edge before the chunin exam finals. He'd arrived late last time, after all...

"Sakura, Sasuke-kun! You're back!"

Ino was rushing towards them; Shikamaru, Chouji and Asuma were trailing some ways behind her. Sasuke hadn't thought about them in awhile, but Sakura didn't look surprised to see her.

"Hey, Ino," Sakura said as the blonde stopped in front of her, panting slightly. "How's the training been going?"

"Huh? Oh, right," Ino said dismissively. "Shikamaru's been training every day with Chouji and Asuma. He better make chunin after all this, or else—" Ino cut herself off abruptly. "Oh, what am I saying? Who cares about that! Have you heard the news?"

Sakura began to speak, but Ino blurted out, "Of course you haven't, you guys just got back! You'll never believe-"

"Ino," Shikamaru sighed, having caught up with her. "Calm down for a second, jeez. They look like they just walked through the gates."

"What news?" Sakura asked.

Ebisu said nothing.

"Well," Ino continued, "On the way to Konoha—for the final exams, you know—The Fourth Kazekage was attacked—"

"The Kazekage?" Sakura frowned. "From Suna?"

Sasuke froze.

"How is he?" Ebisu asked.

"The Kazekage is fine," Asuma interrupted as he stepped forward. "Thanks to Jiraiya-sama."

The sound of his mentor's name caught Naruto's attention. "What's that about the pervy sage?"

Ebisu stepped closer to Asuma, a frown on his face. "Perhaps we should continue this conversation elsewhere—"

Asuma shook his head. "It's fine. Everyone already knows," Taking a quick whiff of his cigarette, he continued, "It was Orochimaru. As it turns out, Sand had allied itself with him and had planned on breaking their treaty with Konoha by attacking during the finals."

"Hm," Ebisu looked thoughtful.

"Hard to believe, isn't it? The Kazekage changed his tune pretty quickly after almost being sliced up by Orochimaru. Surrendered in exchange for a full pardon and revealed everything he knew about Sound's plans."

The sound of Orochimaru's name being repeated once more brought Sasuke back to reality. "What happened to Orochimaru?"

"He fled the scene. Jiraiya didn't chase him," Asuma said. "I doubt he'll be showing his face here, though."

* * *

**A/N:** Stay tuned, after this commercial break... Er, yeah. Deciding how much to put at the end of this chapter and what to move to the next section was a real bitch. Believe it.

This did get me thinking about how other time-travel fics handle the sound invasion... but a lot of them end before that, or are operating under entirely different mechanics... Hmmm. I guess we'll see...


	15. Let No Crisis Go To Waste

**Chapter 15: Let No Crisis Go To Waste**

* * *

The wind was cold and harsh and stung his eyes as it blew into the room, but Sasuke remained motionless on his bed, his head turned towards the open window. He fought the urge to blink and continued to stare out into the darkness as he listened to the quiet sounds of nightlife, whispers reassuring him that he wasn't the only creature awake at this hour—that even now wasn't alone.

The entire Sound invasion was over and done with. Orochimaru was gone and a handful of captives had been taken into custody for interrogation, including the lone final contestant from Sound. Sand was pardoned, and the finals were scheduled to continue on, with only the heightened security and a lot of nervous Sand-nin there to remind everyone of what had occurred.

Before Sasuke had a chance to break from his stupor, Asuma had waved them off and left with his own team, and Ebisu had given them permission to attend the finals. Then their instructor was gone, and by the time Sasuke could think straight, Naruto and Sakura were long gone too. He had been left standing in the middle of the street, blankly watching the sun hang low in the sky as it slowly sunk into the horizon.

To Sasuke's surprise, he wasn't angry. He hadn't really known what to feel and it wasn't until he stepped foot inside his room that the reality of the situation struck him. For the first time, it hit him, it really hit him, how very different things were.

He could no longer reliably predict the future.

Whatever edge he may have had upon returning to the past was gone and likely had been gone for some time. It was mind-blowing to think that any of his actions could have tipped the scale so drastically; even if he hadn't caused the shift, it didn't change the fact that the world as he knew it had been altered.

The little details he had ignored came rushing to mind—the relationships that had failed to develop, the words that had never been spoken, the personal revelations that had never been made—and the thought of how those little pieces of the puzzle could potentially alter the world into something unrecognizable filled him with apprehension.

Sasuke threw off his sheets and hopped down from the bed. He padded towards the open window and carefully slid it shut until he was nose to nose with the dim image of himself reflected off of the glass. He may have looked four years younger, but he could no longer think of this timeline—this alternate reality—as "the past." With one bombshell, the others fell quickly into place and suddenly it felt like an entirely different world. It didn't seem like a chance to re-do things, or even an aggravating trip down memory lane. It wasn't his past: it was some sort of hellish continuation. He looked younger, but he wasn't; things looked the same, but they weren't; time was moving just as linearly as ever and instead of adapting to the situation, he had instead spent his days refusing to acknowledge reality, biding his time and pretending he'd miraculously find a way back.

What kind of avenger was he? Sasuke had lost sight of himself—he had let the surrealness of the circumstances overwhelm him and had let his denial of the situation cloud his judgment and twist his goals.

He needed to get back.

Everything made sense there. His purpose was clear. He had choices, but they weren't hard ones and he had the power to make them happen. He had the power to keep his bonds or to break them; he had the power to leave Konoha or to stay; he had the power to choose darkness over light, the power to choose vengeance over forgiveness, the power to destroy instead of create.

Here...

Sasuke closed his eyes and saw himself at the Valley of the End, with Naruto coming at him, glowing red, Rasengan ready—the image skipped and then the blonde was unconscious and drenched in rain and dirt, and Sasuke was leaning over him, hunched and coughing up blood...

Sasuke could sense the second his guard dropped and he felt his confidence melt into false bravado; he felt the tendrils of anxiety squirming to the surface and he started to wonder that if he hadn't had the curse mark—

_** "Even if I have to break your arms and legs, I'm going to stop you!"**_**  
**  
...that maybe—  
**  
**_** "You won't even be able to scratch my forehead." **_

...that Naruto was—

_** "I'm more special than you."**_

...that he wasn't as strong as he needed to be.  
**  
**Sasuke's snapped his eyes open; he glared at his reflection and tried to rekindle the familiar sparks of hatred and anger, but every time he got close, his thoughts—

_vengeance my family bonds breaking Konoha destroy betrayal Itachi_

—kept coming back to his brother, and he'd suddenly remember that here, Itachi was still alive, and then the confusion would set in. The downward spiral would halt and he'd have to start reigniting the flames all over again.

It was easier not to think about it.

Sasuke hadn't thought about his brother—not much, not really—since he'd gotten there, because even though he desperately wanted answers, he was afraid of talking to Itachi and afraid of what he might learn. Learning the truth from Itachi while he was still alive meant that there would be choices to make. Hard choices, harder choices than the ones back home and he didn't want to make them because he barely knew what to do with himself before and he wasn't sure if he could survive having his only goal in life torn away from him for a second time.

Outside, Sasuke spotted a flicker of movement. He tensed, breath held as his sharingan activated. Sasuke glimpsed a white animal mask through the leaves before the image blinked out of sight, barely visible in the dim light, and the overwhelming discomfort he had been feeling all evening made a little more sense.

He was being watched.

This time when he glared, it was real, and the heat that flew through him was not forced.

He was sick of being in this room, in this house, in this ghost compound, and he was sick of Konoha and the erratic effect it was having on his emotions. He hated all of it—and it might have been a phantom pain, but his tongue burned from the cursed seal. He wasn't free to talk, he wasn't even free to be alone in his own home and he hated the fact that Danzo was still alive. At that moment, he couldn't decide what he wanted more: to make Danzo pay for his crimes there, or to go back to a world where he was already gone. In the end, would it even really matter?  
**  
**

* * *

"Sasuke, look at that—Kiba and Shikamaru in the finals? I bet we could have made it in easy."

The bleachers in Konoha's Arena were filled with spectators, each row nearly packed, and excitement was heavy in the air. Fortunately, Naruto and Sasuke had gotten there early enough to get a front row seat. Not that it mattered much, Sasuke thought as he looked down into the arena. He could see well enough to figure out who was on the field: Hayate stood at the center, and crowded behind him were the combatants. Kiba was chatting amicably with Shino and a put-out Shikamaru; Rock Lee and Neji stood silently next to one another, each mentally preparing for the upcoming match, and to the side, some ways away from the Konoha genin were the Sand Siblings. None of them looked particularly happy to be there.

"Thank you everyone for coming to the Hidden Leaf Chuunin Selection Exam," The Hokage called out from across the arena, silencing the crowd. "The main tournament matches will now be starting..."

After the Hokage finished his introductory speech, the extra combatants left the field and Hayate nodded and announced the first match: Rock Lee versus Neji Hyuga.

Next to him, Sasuke heard Naruto sigh.

"This is boring. I don't wanna watch this—I don't even know these guys. And just look at that guy's bowl cut! He doesn't look tough at all."

"He's stronger than he looks. Just watch."

The match began, and after only a few minutes, Naruto's attention was riveted.

"Whoa... that guy's so fast. How's he moving like that?"

Sasuke was watching too, and more attentively than he would have thought. Rock Lee moved seamlessly on the battlefield; Neji was slower, but graceful and calculating. The match seemed to be merely a question of who could dodge the longest. Sasuke hadn't seen Neji fight before, but he _did _remember Rock Lee proclaiming that his teammate was the strongest rookie. Obviously, Gai's prodigy had been exaggerating, but Sasuke was still curious as to who would win the match and he was surprised that Rock Lee wasn't in the hospital. He must not have fought Gaara this time around... but who had?

Everyone's eyes were glued to the fight, the stadium was packed and Sasuke guessed that almost everyone important in Konoha was present—it was now or never. He'd have to have Naruto tell him about the results of the match later.

"Naruto."

"Yeah?" Naruto's gaze remained fixed on the combatants below as he spoke.

"I need you to henge into me."

Naruto turned towards him, battle momentarily forgotten. "Huh?"

"There's something I need to go do," Sasuke said, "But I'm being followed by ANBU."

"What, why?"

"I don't know, but it's annoying."

When Sasuke had woken up earlier, he had been immediately aware that somewhere out there, the ANBU Black Ops were still watching him. They had tailed Sasuke all the way to the arena and he doubted they would be letting up any time soon.

"They can be, I guess, but it's fun losing them. You're henging into me, then?" Naruto looked contemplative but seemed to shrug off his thoughts and grinned at him. "Who'd have thought you'd want to be me someday?" He glanced around the rows behind them but didn't spot any of the operatives tailing Sasuke. "You want to just switch right here?"

"No, duck down first. And be quick about it."

"Isn't that suspicious? I mean, if you're being watched by someone back there right now-"

Sasuke frowned—that _was_ a little suspicious, wasn't it?— and retrieved a handful of shuriken from his pouch. Trying to leave and switch would probably just draw unnecessary attention to himself. "Fine. Point at something and hit me on accident. I'll drop these and you can pretend to help me pick them up."

"I'm not that clumsy, Sasuke, I don't just wave my arms like a crazy person-"

"Whatever, you're always flailing around when you get excited. Just do it!"

"HEY, LOOK!" Naruto stood and shouted while pointing wildly towards the arena. Sasuke twitched at the exaggerated display and stood too, pretending to look as several bystanders on either side of them earnestly glanced towards wherever Naruto had pointed, hoping to catch something.

Abruptly, Naruto waved his arm to the left and smacked Sasuke across the face, hard, and the shurikens clattered to the floor; he had been expecting something, but not _that_.

Without thinking, Sasuke reached over, grabbed the offending arm and twisted it behind Naruto's back. "Idiot, you-"

"Lemme go!" Naruto stretched a leg out and reached around, tripping Sasuke from behind, and they both went crashing to the floor.

After a few seconds of impromptu wrestling with an irate Naruto who seemed to have forgotten the point of the charade, Sasuke noticed several people in the rows next to them staring at them oddly. So much for not drawing attention to themselves.  
**  
**Sighing, Sasuke withdrew a smoke bomb from his pouch—at least he had a back-up plan.

"Naruto, henge, now!"

"What—Oh, right!"

When the smoke cleared, Sasuke was face to face with a decent replica of himself. All Naruto had to do was stand there and watch the fight, so Sasuke figured the ploy would work. There was no one nearby that would be familiar with them. The closest person was Sakura several rows above; she was sitting next to Ino and hadn't spoken with either of them since returning to Konoha.

Sasuke mumbled something about needing to use the bathroom—although it probably hadn't been necessary—and Naruto-turned-Sasuke gave him a thumbs up (to which Sasuke nearly facepalmed). Aside from a few scowls and eyerolls, nobody seemed to be pay any attention to him as he edged his way through the rows and out of the stadium.

* * *

As quickly as he could, Sasuke darted from building to building across Konoha until he found himself at the entrance to the Intelligence Division. He didn't sense anyone following him, so Sasuke assumed the henge must have held up—or maybe they didn't care if he left.

He remembered the layout well enough from when he had been held there by the Hokage and Danzo not so long ago—at least, well enough to know that he'd have to pass through the main lobby and security checkpoint in order to reach any of the cells. Sasuke figured that high-risk prisoners likely wouldn't be held there, but this was as good a starting place as any.

Sasuke considered henging into someone else, but he wasn't sure who to expect when he entered, if anyone, and ultimately decided to just walk through the front doors as Naruto. Almost as soon as he entered, Sasuke heard light murmuring; he slowly edged his way across the hall—the main lobby and front desk were empty, as he had hoped—and made his way further into the compound until he found himself nearing the entrance to the security checkpoint connected to the cells.

The talking grew louder as he approached, and the door to the room housing the shinobi on duty was open. Sasuke slid next to the entrance and listened.

"...can't believe we got stuck with this shift, Yuichiro. We're missing the Hyuga fight... _and _that Gaara kid after him."

"It's not like there's much to guard here, anyway. The only catch we got that's even halfway reliable is that spy disguised as a grass genin, and she can't be more than twelve. Ibiki doesn't seem to think she knows anything," The second voice—Yuichiro—snorted. "It's crazy that they knew about Sound's ambush and still only managed to round up a bunch of grunts and a few of the chunin candidates."

"Hey now, one of those 'grunts' claims to be a part Orochimaru's personal body guards."

"That kid is a goddamned brat."

"You're just sayin' that 'cause she told you off earlier. And that _kid _could kick your ass."

"I don't know, I'm pretty good with a kunai."

"Yeah... that's _all _you're good with. Face it, we're fodder. Hell, we've got ninjas who've made jonin before they turned twelve," The first ninja paused. "A twelve year old could kick the crap out of you. How does that make you feel?"

"Thankful that I'm on guard duty?"

Sasuke stood there silently, eavesdropping awhile longer as he tried to formulate a plan. They weren't going to leave and they probably weren't going to fall asleep (although after listening to their conversation over the past few minutes, he wouldn't have put it past them). The best plan would be to lure one of them out, knock them unconscious, and henge into them, although he wasn't entirely sure if his henge would fool the remaining guard.

Somewhere farther past the security checkpoint, the sound of something loud and breakable crashing against a wall echoed through the halls, and the guards' conversation momentarily ceased.

"What was that?" The first voice said, and Sasuke heard him rise from his seat.

"It's probably nothing, Motoki."

"Maybe we should go check."

"And abandon our posts? That's a rookie mistake. Any seasoned shinobi knows that."

Wood scraped across the floor as Motoki readjusted his chair and sat back down. "So you'd rather just ignore the highly suspicious noise?"

"It wasn't _that _suspicious sounding. Was it?" Yuichiro said. "You've got a better idea, then?"

"Yeah. Just one of us could go check."

"But I just got comfortable," the ninja sighed. "Play you for it?"

These were the worst guards _ever_.

Which must be why they were stuck babysitting low security prisoners instead of being stationed as guards at Konoha's Stadium.

Sasuke dropped his henge, activated his Sharingan and flickered into the room. As soon as he entered, both shinobi turned to stare at him and were promptly knocked unconscious after falling into his hypnosis genjutsu.  
**  
**Why the hell hadn't he done that in the first place? Forget complicated planning, he wasn't Shikamaru. Overly complex schemes were obviously for people who didn't have the Sharingan... unless your name happened to be Madara.  
**  
**Both shinobi had fallen across the table and looked like they were sleeping soundly; a set of keys attached to a lanyard dangled off of one of their necks, and Sasuke grabbed it. No surprises there. Honestly, if someone like Kakashi or even Itachi felt like sneaking around wreaking havoc left and right through town, Konoha would probably be in trouble. Most ninjas just weren't equipped to deal with the Sharingan if any amount of stealth was involved.  
**  
**Satisfied, Sasuke left the area and headed towards the first cell block. Most of them were standard windowless interrogation rooms, but the ones functioning as cells were equipped with small rectangular windows, and after henging into one of the guards, he quickly looked through each one as he passed by. He didn't know most of the prisoners—the only familiar ninja was Dosu, and Sasuke barely recognized him. There was no sign of any of the Sound Four so far, and no Kabuto. Sasuke had hoped...**  
**  
Dejected, he realized that Kabuto wouldn't have been held there even if he had been seized. Coming there was pointless. Sasuke reached the end of the walkway and in the last cell, he saw a familiar head of bright red hair in his peripheral vision. He stopped and did a quick double-take.

It was Karin.

Karin had been there?

Sasuke's eyes flit back and forth as he tried to remember if he had seen her in Konoha at the Chunin Exams, but that was a long time ago and there had been a lot he hadn't paid attention to back then.

A weight from his chest lifted as an idea formed in the back of his mind. Kabuto may not have been there, but this?

This might work.

Sasuke dropped his henge, took the keys and fumbled with the lock to the cell until the door swung open. Karin was boredly staring at the wall, half-asleep with her head resting in her hands. When the door opened, she jolted upright before relaxing marginally at the sight of him.

"Who're you?" The redhead said in a bored tone. "You don't look like you work here."

"I don't."

"So?" She yawned. "What do you want? Did those two idiots let you in?"

There was silence as Sasuke stared at her, trying to think of what to say. After a moment, Karin started blushing, and the longer he stared, the darker her cheeks grew until she was completely flustered and broke eye contact. Eventually, he said, "You're a chakra sensor."

"How do you-"

"I need your help. I want you to take me to Orochimaru."

Karin's back straightened, and her face grew serious. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm going to get you out of here," Sasuke paused. "Orochimaru is going to train me after giving me the cursed seal."

He sounded so confident, so sure of his statement that some of Karin's hesitancy seemed to abate. "You're serious? You're really here to free me?"

"Why would I lie?"

"Why wouldn't you?" Karin huffed. "We've never even met before. How should I know?"

Sasuke huffed back in irritation. Karin was always obnoxiously stubborn. Even last time—  
**  
**_** "Come with me, Karin. I need you."  
**_  
"Please," Sasuke bit out. "I need you."

Karin flushed and pretended to adjust her glasses to hide the blush on her face. She seemed a little more timid than he remembered, and he could only hope that meant she'd be less grabby this time around.

"Oh, alright..."

Sasuke relaxed. "I'll come back for you soon. I don't know when, but be ready."

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry there was no update the past week, I was at a convention all weekend. I'm usually pretty good about that sort of thing. And lol at how easily Karin escaped in the manga... Failsecurity, GG Konoha. I suppose she's an ace at avoiding people and hiding herself, but there's no excuse for the terrible body search though. I mean, it's a village filled with ninjas...

Regarding Sasuke: I realize that his personal development seems slow (if not subtle), but to be fair, it did take him a whole, like, 400 chapters in the manga. And without Itachi's influence (yet), well...

On another note, Kiba for Hokage! The new manga chapters are cracking me up right now. Okay, it's mostly the fanbase that's cracking me up, but still.


	16. What the Hell, Hero?

**Chapter 16: What the Hell, Hero? **

* * *

Sasuke exited the Intelligence Division as quickly as he had entered, his mind working in overdrive as he considered how Karin's presence would alter his escape plans. Even before finding her, he hadn't come up with a solid plan for leaving Konoha. When he had escaped the last time, Konoha's forces had been effectively cut in half because of the Sound Invasion and the remaining shinobi had been left scrambling to complete the normal amount of delegated missions. The only remaining ninjas available for the impromptu rescue team had been a bunch of leftover genin.

This time around, there would be no powerful Sound Four escorting him to Orochimaru. He wouldn't have the cursed seal, either; it would be him and Karin fleeing from seasoned shinobi and an already suspicious Hokage. Tsunade may have thought Sasuke's defection was unfortunate in the past, but Sarutobi and Danzo would be taking his retreat far more seriously.

The only ingredient in his favor was Karin's ability to sense chakra, but that wasn't going to help them outrun anyone. Could they really do this alone?

Preoccupied with his thoughts, Sasuke flew on autopilot through the village and soon found himself at the entrance to his house. He stared ambivalently at the door and thought about returning to the stadium—after all, Naruto was still there, pretending to be himself—but he couldn't muster up the energy to do so. Sasuke hadn't been interested in the first place, really, although it was too bad that he wouldn't be there to see ANBU scramble around in confusion when Naruto finally dropped his henge.

Sasuke spent the night keeping his hands busy and his mind free as he packed and repacked his traveling bag and sharpened everything with an edge in his general vicinity. Frustrated, his senses were on high alert for any sign of ANBU returning, but they never showed up and their absence only increased his sense of anxiety.

After hours of tossing and turning, he eventually fell into a restless sleep. He awoke several times throughout the night thinking of escape, and when he did sleep, he dreamt of it. The dreams were hectic and wholly unlike the intact nightmares of the night of his family's murder. They were unfocused and frantic: one minute he was outside perched on rails of his balcony, and in the next he was running, his breath labored, his legs heavy, sweat pouring down his neck. It was night and he was almost at the village gates; suddenly he tripped, fell, scrambled to get back up. He could hear his pursuers behind him, but it didn't matter because he was almost out, he could make it—he kept running, head bobbing up and down, he was there—he looked back up and the gates were gone. In their place stood the Uchiha compound... had he been running there the whole time?

He blinked and then Naruto was there too, standing in front of the compound entrance; he was taller than him and much older, his face grim as he looked down at Sasuke and shook his head. He never opened his mouth, but Sasuke heard a voice—deeper, nearly unrecognizable and yet somehow Sasuke _knew _it was his—whispering, "I'll take you back with full force... you and I will die together. Because you're my friend."

As his words faded, Naruto's face began changing: his eyes became dark, his teeth sharpened and elongated, and an orange mass of chakra cloaked his body. Naruto raised his hands and his fingers turned to claws before his eyes, and Sasuke stepped back, hesitated, went to activate his Sharingan—but nothing happened, and Naruto lunged—

Sasuke woke up alert and bright-eyed to the sight of the sun peeking cheerfully through the window and the remnants of his dream scattered to the far corners of his mind, forgotten and unwanted.

Sasuke dressed quickly; stomach growling, he slid open the door and walked down the hall, heading towards the kitchen. He was exhausted, but from the moment his eyes had opened, Sasuke had felt a contrasting sense of energized anticipation. An idea had sprouted while he slept and the relief at having some kind of a plan was exhilarating. It wasn't perfect... in fact, there was a chance it would die before it ever began, but that was a risk he'd have to take. It took some time to admit, but he'd decided that he couldn't make the escape alone. He'd need someone's help after all, but—

"It's been a long time, Sasuke. I see you've moved into our parents' room."

Sasuke stopped in his tracks and jerked his head up towards his living room and away from the space he had been staring at during his habitual walk to the kitchen. The Third Hokage sat on the loveseat furthest from him, looking quite at home with his pipe in hand. To Sarutobi's left, on Sasuke's favorite armchair and wreathed in Akatsuki robes, sat Itachi.

Sasuke opened his mouth—tried to formulate thoughts, but his mind was empty—and forgot to close it.

Itachi's face was characteristically blank as he raised his eyes in greeting. "Perhaps you should take a seat."

Perhaps he should... what?

"Would you like some tea?"

Itachi stood from his seat and began moving towards the kitchen; the action snapped Sasuke out of it because _Itachi fucking Uchiha was walking into his kitchen and_—

"No, I don't want any tea! What the hell are you doing here? What is this? What's going on?"

Itachi stopped moving and looked at him impassively.

When both Itachi and Sarutobi failed to respond, Sasuke repeated, in a much louder voice, "What are you doing in my house, Itachi?"

"Your house..."

Sasuke heard the Third sigh, and his gaze whipped over to the older man. "And why is _he _here?"

Itachi slowly blinked, surprised by his statement. "You're concerned about the Hokage's presence? One would think you'd be more concerned about mine."

Sasuke glared at his brother and barely refrained from repeating himself a third time as he moved his sullen gaze back towards Sarutobi.

"I see," Itachi's voice was soft as he spoke. "So it's as you've said then, Hokage-sama."

"Unfortunately," Sarutobi nodded. "Sasuke. Earlier, I told you that when you were ready for the truth, your questions would be addressed. Can you handle the answers?"

Sasuke flickered his line of vision towards Itachi. "Why is he..."

"The situation has changed. Even with the seal, you are still a potential threat to Konoha and in light of recent events, I cannot guarantee your safety. Itachi was concerned..."

"So Itachi just up and decided to come back to Konoha to check on me, then, is that it? What about the Akatsuki?"

The Third looked puzzled by Sasuke's question, and Itachi's eyes narrowed imperceptibly.

"Where did you hear that name?" Sarutobi asked.

"I want to speak with Itachi," Sasuke said. "Alone."

Hiruzen traded glances with Itachi, who had remained stony-faced throughout the exchange, and rose from his seat. "Very well. My presence would likely only aggravate matters. Itachi, I trust that you can handle this."

"Hn."

Sasuke stood motionless as Sarutobi slowly took his leave, his eyes never leaving Itachi's until he heard the sound of the front door clicking shut. Itachi still hovered at the edge of the kitchen, and after several beats of silence, he resumed his earlier movements. Sasuke watched rigidly as Itachi plucked the tea kettle off of the stove and began filling it with water. He lost track of time as Itachi moved about the kitchen as if he had never been gone, as if he wasn't guilty of genocide—as if he had never died. Because Itachi _was _dead, wasn't he? Sasuke had killed him. He'd...

No, that was wrong. His brother was alive and rummaging through the cupboards looking for Sasuke's teacups and waiting for the water to boil. The mundanity of his actions added a dreamlike quality to the situation and Sasuke was flooded with memories: memories of an older, caring brother who for so long he'd thought hadn't really existed. He had been utterly convinced that those memories were an illusion, and by the time he had learned otherwise it had been too late. Itachi had died hoping that Sasuke would hate him—hoping to trick his little brother into believing the false tale he had woven.

"Why..." Sasuke started, his voice unsteady, "Why would you betray our clan? Why did you have to kill our parents?" When Itachi said nothing, he continued, "Why was I the only one to survive? Why just me?"

"Are the answers still hidden from you, even now?" Itachi placed two teacups on the counter as he spoke. "In the shinobi world, we are sometimes forced to make impossible decisions."

Sasuke scowled. What kind of bullshit response was that? Was it too much to ask that Itachi give him an answer that wasn't some kind of cryptic riddle meant to mess with his head?

"Don't play with me! I know the truth. I know about the clan's plans, and about—" _Danzo's orders_, he thought, but stopped in case it would activate his seal. Damn that man. "I know about the choice you had to make. I know everything about you—"

"Do you?" Itachi said. "How did you come to learn this information? Who told you?"

"Why should I tell you," Sasuke sneered back at him, "When you can't even give me a simple answer?"

Itachi looked at him, his expression calculating as he weighed his options and after a moment he lowered his head. Even in defeat, his posture held a regal quality that Sasuke could only hope to emulate. "You were only a kid. You didn't know anything about the clan's plans... you were an innocent."

"And the other children you killed?" Sasuke's voice cracked. "What about them? Why weren't they spared, too?"

"I couldn't protect everyone, Sasuke. I could only protect you. It was the only option available to me."

"Protect me? _This _is what you call protection?" Sasuke raised his hands and gestured wildly around him. "Everyone I love is dead. I see them dying over and over again, in my dreams, every night—because you _made me _see it—"

"You're alive. I only wanted what was best for you—"

"What was best for me?" Sasuke hissed. "You were the child genius—the pride of the Uchiha clan. The prodigy our father loved best, so tell me, because I don't understand. Did you really expect—did you really think that any of this could have ended well? You tortured me, you isolated me, you pushed me towards hatred, you told me I needed to kill my best friend... And after all that, after everything, how could you think that I'd want bonds and love and friends tying me down? I did what you wanted, Itachi, but from now on, I'm following my own path. Not yours. Now my eyes are closed and my only goal is in darkness."

Sasuke's heart was racing as he neared the end of his speech, and he took a moment to calm himself. When his breathing had evened out, he continued, "You sacrificed everything for Konoha. Our clan was massacred and not a single person knows the price that was paid for their happiness. Why shouldn't I restore our clan's name by severing its ties to the shinobi world once and for all? That's what everyone wanted, wasn't it?"

If Sasuke's words had surprised his brother, it didn't show on the man's face. The tea kettle began whistling, but neither one of them moved to pick it up. Both brothers listened to the shrill cry for several moments before Itachi finally turned off the heat and removed the kettle from the stovetop.

"I didn't come here to tell you what you should or shouldn't do," Itachi started. "Still, I had hoped it would never come to this. I wanted you to cultivate your hatred against me, but already it seems you've turned it against the village instead... Sasuke, you were never supposed to know the truth. I wanted you to live a long life, one devoid of the hardships I myself have had to face. And even then... I didn't save you for your sake alone. Someday, I wanted to be judged for the crimes I committed by another Uchiha. I never wanted you to walk down this path."

"How can you say that?" Sasuke shook his head. "You're the one who led me down this road in the first place. You're the one who made me this way. And for what? You destroyed our clan out of love for the village, and you claim to have spared me out that same love," Sasuke snorted, and in a mocking tone, he continued,"'If you want to kill me, curse me, hate me!' you once told me. But where was your hatred, Itachi? You didn't need it to be strong."

And, Sasuke thought, neither had Naruto...

"So stop lying to yourself and stop lying to me. You didn't want me to hate you because it was for my own good, or because it was the only way to make me stronger. The _only_ reason you wanted me to hate you was to make yourself feel better, because of your guilt—because you thought you deserved to be punished. How can you believe you did the right thing when you still have a guilty conscience? How can you still support the village after everything they've done?"

"How did you come to learn about the Akatsuki?"

Sasuke stared at his brother incredulously. What the actual fuck—he wasn't really trying to change the subject, was he? "Are you serious..? I'm not telling you! You still haven't answered a single damn question I've asked you!"

"There's only one other person who could have told you about the massacre. Have you met a man named Madara?"

When it was clear that Sasuke had no intention of responding, Itachi sighed. "I see... How are you so sure that what he told you was accurate? If you know the truth of things, then tell me. Tell me how much you know."

"I can't talk, don't you remember? Hiruzen must have told you. They put a cursed seal on me," Sasuke stuck out his tongue for good measure and just as he thought, Itachi didn't seem surprised by the revelation. "I can't say a damned thing about them." After a moment, he added, "But you have the power to break a seal like this, don't you? You could help me get rid of it."

"Hm... Perhaps, but it would be unwise to remove it and provoke Danzo unnecessarily. I have yet to speak with him about the current situation."

"You're just going to leave this thing on me, then, is that it?" Sasuke said, his voice thick with resentment.

"For the time being," Itachi said."Forgive me, Sasuke, but we'll have to finish this conversation later. I'll return tomorrow and I will tell you what you want to know. In the meantime, please do not do anything rash—we are both in a very precarious position."

As he finished speaking, Itachi began moving out of the kitchen and towards the front door. Dumbfounded, Sasuke watched him walk away for several seconds before he strode after him**. **"Wait, what? You're leaving already? Why did you even come here if you weren't going to say anything?"

Itachi stopped moving as they reached the door and quickly turned around to face him. Before Sasuke could blink, Itachi raised two fingers and tapped him lightly on the forehead. "I had to see with my own eyes."

"What the hell is that supposed to—"

Sasuke's words were cut off by the click of the door closing shut as Itachi exited. Pausing only for a moment, Sasuke flung the door open and prepared to chase after him, but by then, Itachi was already gone. Sasuke slammed the front door shut in irritation and strode back into the kitchen, stopping only to glare at the two teacups sitting on the counter, empty and unused.

* * *

"And, and then, the whole field was covered in bugs! It was awesome!"

"Ah," Sasuke grunted as he disinterestedly stirred the leftover ramen in his bowl.

Naruto had spent most of the morning recounting—in great detail—the events of the final exams, ostensibly unaware of Sasuke's disinterest. Honestly, Sasuke couldn't even recall who made chunin the first time around. Well, he _maybe _remembered something about Shikamaru...

"Hey, we should go visit Kiba in the hospital. He's probably bored out of his mind..."

Sasuke half-listened as Naruto spoke, his thoughts preoccupied with the events that had happened earlier that day. When Itachi left, he was furious: he felt swindled somehow and was wholly unsatisfied with the idea of waiting for Itachi to return. Why should he, really? What reason did he have to believe that Itachi would be anymore straightforward the next time around?

Even now, Itachi was still treating him like a child and still withholding information from him. In the end, Itachi was loyal to Konoha. Itachi had manipulated him in an attempt to both protect himself _and _the village, believing that Sasuke would seek revenge upon learning the truth. Maybe he had been right on that count, but it didn't make Sasuke any less bitter. If anything, Sasuke was even angrier than before, and the fact that Itachi had left him to go do, what, sit and chat with the Hokage and Danzo?—fucking _Danzo?_—was salt on an open wound.

Did Itachi have any intention of removing Danzo's seal? Did he even want Sasuke to walk his own path, or was he still going to try and maneuver him like some kind of piece on a shogi board? Just as Sasuke had begun to feel in control again, Itachi had come and swept the rug out from underneath him. Now he had Itachi to contend with, too, if he still intended on trying to return to his own time. Would his brother hunt him down if he tried to leave, or would he leave Sasuke to his own devices? He had known Sasuke had left to join Orochimaru in the past, but his motivations had been different then...

Either way, Sasuke was worried: he didn't have the luxury of time anymore. He didn't know what the Hokage and Itachi were hoping to accomplish, but he had a strong suspicion that his chances of escaping would be reduced to nothing if he waited any longer.

"..feel bad for him. I mean, getting put up against Gaara in his first match? That guy is scary... Hey, are you even listening to me, Sasuke?"

"No," Sasuke said without thinking, and then nearly hit himself—not the right thing to say. "Sorry, I was distracted," Sasuke stopped and took a deep breath. No use in putting it off.

"Naruto... I've been meaning to ask you," He said tentatively. "I... need your help with something."

"Eh?"

"There's something I need to do... something important, but I need to leave Konoha to do it."

Naruto seemed confused by his statement and was staring at Sasuke expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"There's a man who promised to train me. He's... exiled from here... but he's the only person who can teach me the things I need to learn. He's sannin level," Sasuke paused and added, "Like Jiraiya."

Naruto's face was uncharacteristically inscrutable, and Sasuke bit his lip, wishing he could restart the entire conversation. Word vomit _everywhere_. He should have just lied, but there was no turning back and now his mouth wouldn't stop running. "You remember those ANBU watching me earlier, don't you? I need help distracting them." Among other things... "I don't think I can do it alone."

Naruto was quiet for a moment. "Wait... let me get this straight. You're asking _me _to help _you _leave Konoha so you can run off and go training by yourself?"

"..Yes?" Was that some kind of trick question?

"You're just gonna up and leave me like that?" Naruto glowered at him before jumping up from his seat, and Sasuke immediately tensed. This was a bad idea; he had known it was a bad idea, but Sasuke only had one shot at escaping and with so many eyes on him, the odds were terrible... and now Naruto was going to go run to the Hokage and warn everyone and—

"I wanna come too!"

Sasuke stared, frozen in place. "What?"

"If no one here is good enough for you, then no one here's good enough for me either! I'm just as strong as you are, Sasuke, so don't even think of leaving me behind, dattebayo!"

Sasuke continued gaping at him, flabbergasted. He had pictured lots of directions this conversation could have gone; he had replayed the arguments in his head, had even considered lying, but ultimately had decided to hell with it. After Itachi, he was too tired to come up with anything plausible, and had just banked on... well... Naruto being Naruto.

Where to start? There was no way in hell Naruto could tag along. Sasuke could handle himself, but Orochimaru would take one look at Naruto and... and he wasn't sure, but it wouldn't be good. And when he eventually found the means to return to his own time, Naruto would be...

"What about Jiraiya?" Sasuke blurted out.

"Huh?"

"Didn't Jiraiya promise to teach you new jutsus?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Jiraiya's just as strong as the guy I want to train with. He can probably teach you things that this guy can't..."

Naruto pursed his lips in thought. "Why don't you train with Jiraiya then?"

"I—He never promised to train me," Sasuke faltered. "I don't think he likes me as much as you."

"Hey, that's not true..."

"Do you really want me to learn the same techniques as you, anyway?" Sasuke pressed on. "I guess summoning frogs might be fun. And I bet my summons would be bigger than yours—"

"Hey!" Naruto glared, rising to the bait. "Those are _my _summons! Get your own!"

"I plan on it," Sasuke smirked to himself. "Look, we can both learn the most new techniques this way—it'll be fun. And after we're both finished training... we can fight each other."

Sasuke held his breath and Naruto's frown deepened while he considered the argument. After a few long, excruciating moments, Naruto's expression lightened and he said, "So, what's your plan?"

Sasuke nearly sagged with relief. "Just a warning... you're going to get in a lot of trouble for helping me."

"Yeah, whatever. We're always getting into trouble for one thing or another anyway, so who cares?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "So, what are we doing?"

Sasuke opened his mouth and paused briefly as memories of the Naruto from his time suddenly flooded his mind: Naruto screaming that he wouldn't let Orochimaru take him, Naruto telling a little boy in the Land of Waves that heroes were real, Naruto facing Gaara, Naruto trying his hardest to turn Sasuke away from revenge, always standing up for what was right and good, never giving up, never agreeing with him, always at odds—

And then Sasuke thought of this Naruto's easy acceptance of his own intentions: his willingness to leave Konoha behind, his unawareness of Orochimaru's motives—his blissful, blissful ignorance—and he wondered if Naruto would ever do any of those things again.

"Well," Sasuke finally began. "Tonight..."

* * *

**A/N: ****WARNING! NARUTO CHAPTER 634 SPOILERS AHEAD! TURN BACK NOW!**

I've been impatiently waiting for the manga to get back to Kakashi and Obito for the last few chapters because I'm super afraid that Obito's gonna pop back out into the thick of things and be like, "Hey, are there any skilled medics around? I need this Sharingan transplanted. Don't worry, it was originally mine anyway and Kakashi doesn't need it anymore IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT. OHOHOHO." And then I'm gonna go cry in a corner.

But yeah, Chapter 634 comes out and now I'm like, "Is Orochimaru gonna save Tsunade or kill her? WHAT YOU PLANNIN', SASUKE?" And now Kishi's probably gonna switch back to Kakashi and Obito _right as I start getting interested in the other plot_. I swear these POV changes are designed just to piss me off.

Anyway, thanks for R&R. Hope you enjoy. :3


	17. Taking the Heat

**Chapter 17: Taking the Heat**

* * *

During his years as reigning Hokage, Sarutobi learned very quickly that frantic knocking was never a good sign, and that any frantic knocking after sunset usually involved multiple casualties and copious amounts of paperwork.

"Hokage-sama!"

The man at the other end did not wait to be granted entry; Izumo paused only for a second after knocking before he yanked the door open and barreled in. Kotetsu entered next; an arm was slung over his shoulders as he escorted a limping Sasuke into the office.

The Third quickly assessed Sasuke's state: the boy seemed exhausted and was covered in dirt, but he didn't appear to be in critical condition. Across his forearms and chest were several deep slashes that resembled claw marks.

"What is it?" Sarutobi frowned.

"Tell him what you told us," Kotetsu said, thrusting Sasuke towards the center of the room.

Sasuke stumbled forward and threw Kotetsu an annoyed scowl before he looked up at the Hokage. "Ah..." He gingerly touched his arm and stared down at the floor. If Sarutobi didn't know any better, he'd say the boy seemed almost dazed. "Naruto and I were training... and we got carried away. Things got out of hand."

"I can see that," Sarutobi remarked dryly. "That doesn't explain why the three of you are in my office."

"I was getting there. Tch," Sasuke said, glaring at the floor. "Naruto thought he could beat me. As if that was even remotely possible. He just can't accept being second best. So, we started getting serious."

Sasuke looked up to see the Hokage staring at him blankly. He went on, "It wasn't a big deal. We weren't trying to kill each other..." Sasuke shifted marginally as he spoke, and Sarutobi narrowed his eyes. "And Naruto was losing, as usual. But then something... _weird _happened."

"Weird how?"

"His eyes changed," Sasuke frowned, his brow creasing in thought. "They were wild. It's impossible, but I saw it—his teeth grew sharp... Naruto started fighting differently then. He came at me on all fours, like some kind of beast. And his chakra was red. I could feel it. And..." Sasuke held out his forearm. "Normal fingernails can't do this."

Kotetsu and Izumo listened intently, looking far more serious than normal, and the Hokage's heart grew heavier with each word that passed from Sasuke's lips.

"I don't understand what happened," Sasuke continued. "His chakra felt... evil. Is he some kind of monster?"

The Hokage rose from his seat. In a clipped tone, he said, "Where is Naruto now?"

"I don't know," Sasuke admitted, appearing a little embarrassed by the admission. "He came at me... I lost consciousness. I don't know how long I was out. Naruto was gone when I woke up."

There was a moment of silence before the Third spoke again. "Izumo, contact Kakashi and bring him to me at once. Kotetsu, check the guard posts and the village gates. Inform them of the current situation and tell them to be on the lookout for any signs of Naruto."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

Kotetsu and Izumo both bowed in unison and exited the room.

The Hokage waited for the door to close shut before turning back towards Sasuke. "Are you absolutely certain of what you saw?"

Sasuke nodded. "I'll never be able to forget that red chakra."

"Where were you fighting?"

"The third training grounds..."

* * *

Kakashi strode into the office with Izumo less than ten minutes after being summoned—he may have been a perpetual procrastinator, but the copycat ninja was always on time when it counted. Although Kakashi stiffened upon seeing Sasuke in the room, he quickly glossed over his presence and gave his full attention to the Hokage.

"Kakashi. Good, you're here," Sarutobi inclined his head in greeting. "We have a situation..."

"Aa. I heard as much."

"I have others searching for Naruto now, but since this is rather urgent, a more efficient method would be preferable."

Retrieving a kunai, Kakashi nodded once before cutting the edge of his thumb and performing the necessary handseals for his summoning jutsu.

Pakkun appeared in a burst of smoke. "Yo."

"Pakkun, I need you to search for Naruto's scent. Start at the third training grounds. See where it leads. If you find him, contact me."

The ninken looked around the area briefly with mild interest before he leapt through the entry and disappeared into the night.

"Izumo, escort Sasuke to the hospital." Upon seeing Sasuke open his mouth in protest, Sarutobi added, "Don't argue. Let the medics look over you. If the wounds are superficial, they won't keep you overnight."

Sasuke let out a short huff of air, clearly unhappy, but nodded and allowed Izumo to lead him out of the room.

As soon as Sasuke was out of earshot, Kakashi frowned. "Do you really trust him?"

"It isn't a matter of trust. Sasuke couldn't have made something like that up. None of the next generation know anything about the tailed beasts. It's forbidden to talk about."

"Naruto and Sasuke are close," Kakashi pointed out. "And Naruto knows. He could have said something."

"Perhaps," Sarutobi's mouth formed a grim line. "Naruto was your student. Has he ever shown any signs of the kyuubi taking over?"

Kakashi sighed. "No, never."

The door to the office slammed open once more and Kotetsu ran into the room, panting heavily. "I've got some bad news," Kotetsu said after catching his breath. "The shinobi guarding the gates was unconscious when I found him. I brought him to the infirmary. It doesn't look like there's anything wrong with him."

"I see," The Hokage closed his eyes. To Kakashi, he said, "Could Naruto have...? But why?"

"I really don't—"

Pakkun popped into the room, and Kakashi stopped speaking, momentarily startled.

"That was awfully fast," he muttered.

"Kakashi, we have a problem."

Kakashi slumped; of course they did. That was all they needed, after all. "What's wrong? Were you not able to track his scent?"

"I was. It led me out past the village gates..."

The Hokage let out a deep sigh, and Kakashi's shoulders slumped a little further.

"But that wasn't the problem," Pakkun continued. "The problem is that there's more than one scent."

"More than one?"

"Yeah," Pakkun's eyes drooped. "More like a few dozen..."

Kakashi's eyes widened before drooping too. "Shadow clones, huh? You can't figure out which one is real?"

Pakkun shook his head.

"Hokage-sama, can he do that while..?" _While being consumed by the kyuubi's chakra_? If that was even the case?

"I honestly don't know. This has never happened before..." Sarutobi said. He sat back down and sunk heavily into the chair. "I should never have been so careless with that scroll. This wouldn't be a problem if Naruto didn't have such a vast amount of chakra... there's no telling when the clones will disperse."

"Ah..."

"It's imperative that we locate him as quickly as possible. We're dealing with too many unknowns. It's possible that the kyuubi is contained and that Naruto was simply spooked and ran off. On the other hand, if he's out of control, he could be seriously injured, and at worse, the kyuubi could break free."

"How many hours of a head start does he have?"

"We're not sure," Sarutobi said. "Sasuke doesn't know how long he was out."

"Convenient."

"There's nothing we can do about it. We'll have to track down each one down until the real one is found. At any rate, I can't imagine the copies will hold up much longer. Shadow clones aren't durable; if Naruto doesn't disperse them upon seeing us, one or two bops on the head will do the trick. As long as we catch up with them, it should be relatively easy."

"What if the real Naruto is found and needs to be... contained?"

The Hokage was quiet for a moment.

"I'll contact the ANBU shortly. Kakashi, find Tenzō and bring him to me. Kotetsu, retrieve the Inuzukas. Gather any shinobi not otherwise occupied at the standby station and tell them to report to me. Dismissed."

* * *

"Sasuke Uchiha?" The nurse called out as she entered the exam room, and Sasuke impatiently hopped off of the medical table.

"Not so fast. You were lucky; most of those lacerations were shallow. But be careful with the butterfly stitches and please don't get them wet. That means no more training tonight. It's supposed to rain—"

"Alright, whatever."

"By the way, are you sure you were... clawed, did you say? Because those cuts were awfully clean for something—"

"Can I go now?"

The nurse sighed. She stepped away from the door and motioned for Sasuke to exit. "Don't forget..."

Sasuke didn't catch her last words as he darted out of the room and exited through the massive doors of Konoha's Hospital. The walkway was empty; the sky was dark and clouded, and he didn't spot a single person outside. He moved quickly towards the Intel Division, keeping an eye out for any figures that might be flitting over rooftops. He saw no one and hoped that meant most free shinobi were already pre-occupied with their current task.

For once, Sasuke found a reason to be thankful that Naruto was more "special" than himself. In the end, a missing jinchuriki was more important than a missing Uchiha, and the longer Naruto evaded capture, the more time Sasuke would have before anyone would even think of looking for him. Karin was harmless; her disappearance would be even further down the list of priorities. If everything went according to plan, most of Konoha's trackers would be otherwise occupied and although it was a little dangerous to be outside the town with so many shinobi on the prowl, at least they weren't looking for him.

He entered the lobby of the Intelligence Division with far less caution than the night before. Upon entering, his Sharingan was already activated: the guards hadn't stood much of a chance. Sasuke sprinted past security and headed down through the cell blocks until he reached the end of the path. Sasuke found Karin sound asleep when he opened the door to her cell, and he roughly shook the redhead awake.

"Uwah..." Karin yawned. She squinted at him with bleary eyes before rubbing them with one hand and reaching down with the other to fumble for her glasses. "Eh... Sasuke, is that you? What time is it?"

Sasuke folded his arms in irritation. So much for being a high-alert chakra sensor. He could already tell she was going to be a lot of help with evading capture. "Get up. We're leaving."

"Now?" She started, adjusting her glasses. "Like right now?"

Sasuke gave her an annoyed look and turned to walk back out the door without answering.

"Wait! You sure it's safe?"

"Yes." Sasuke opened the cell door wider and motioned for her to follow him out.

"We won't be followed? What about the guards?"

"They're busy."

Karin stood up from the bed, but didn't move to follow him out and instead eyed him hesitantly from within the cell.

Sasuke sighed. "They've got more important things to deal with right now. By the time the Hokage realizes we've left and figures out we're together, if he does at all, we'll be far enough away." Hopefully... As long as the weather was on their side, Naruto dragged out the chase as long as possible, and Karin was competent enough at sensing any incoming shinobi. "We can talk when we're out of town. For now, just be quiet."

By the end of his speech, Sasuke was starting to work himself into a foul mood—mostly because he was anxious about being caught. Karin seemed to notice his irritation; after a few seconds of contemplation, she relented and allowed him to lead them out past the unconscious guards and out of the Intelligence Division.

As soon as they stepped outside, Sasuke paused only momentarily to make sure no one was nearby before he continued to navigate them towards the edge of town.

After a few minutes of walking, Sasuke inclined his head towards Karin. "Do you sense anyone?"

"Yeah," She remarked offhandedly, and Sasuke looked at her sharply in response.

Seeing his expression, Karin cocked her head. "What's wrong?"

"Where?"

"Where what?"

"Where do you sense them?"

"Oh. Well, it looks like most everyone's inside their houses right now."

Sasuke could feel his eye starting to twitch. "I _meant _do you sense anyone near us, outside."

"Oh," Karin blinked. "No."

His face fell, and he resumed walking a bit faster than before as he spoke. "I don't remember you being this obnoxious." Oh, wait. That was a lie.

"We only spoke once," Karin muttered defensively. A moment later, she said, "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? What do you mean I'm obnoxious?"

Sasuke ignored her and continued walking. They resumed skirting the edge of the town, going off-road and taking the long way to the main gates. He considered about walking through the main path out of the city... but for some reason, the thought gave him chills.

There was no one at the gates when they arrived; the guard from earlier must not have been replaced. Sasuke was a little suspicious but pressed on anyway; overthinking the situation wouldn't accomplish anything.

When Sasuke took his first step out of Konoha, he took a deep breath.

Freedom.

He looked out past the main road and into the nearby forest with anticipation and quirked his mouth. Well, almost. They weren't out of the woods yet.

Sasuke caught himself starting to smirk and pinched his lips into a tight line instead; that was a terrible pun. Hell, it was almost as bad as something Kakashi might have said, once...

Shaking his head, he sprinted off of the main road at an angle and launched himself into the trees. He could hear Karin rushing to catch up with him from behind, and they kept their pace going until Sasuke heard her call out from behind him.

"W-wait!"

She hadn't spoken in the last few minutes, and Sasuke had almost managed to forget that she was there. Some good things never last.

He whipped around to glare at her. "Keep your voice down."

"We can't go that way! I sense someone coming!"

Sasuke gave her a bemused look. "That's not possible."

"What do you mean?"

"Nar..." Sasuke paused. "There weren't any clones sent in this direction. There shouldn't be anyone here." And why would there be, anyway? There was no way a search party would be this close to town...

"Well, I'm the one who can sense chakra and I'm telling you there is!"

Sasuke pinched his lips together; she did have a point. "Hn."

"Let's go this way instead..." Karin's voice was timid as she moved to walk ahead and she seemed nervous to see if he would follow after her. Sasuke figured she must have been afraid of being captured again. Maybe she wasn't used to being put in dangerous situations yet? He really didn't know much about Karin's past, now that he thought about it...

Karin relaxed when Sasuke allowed her to take lead; he was a little apprehensive about the direction they were going. They were skirting the edge of the 'safe passage zone' he and Naruto had settled on earlier, but there was no helping it.

Nonetheless, they didn't run into any unwanted guests, and they continued to move from branch to branch for some time before Karin broke the silence.

"So..." Karin started. "Why do you want to join Orochimaru so badly?"

"That's none of your business."

"You said Orochimaru was going to train you, right?" She continued, ignoring his rejoinder. "That doesn't really sound like something he'd do though. Not without a price."

"Ah."

"You're not very talkative."

Sasuke wasn't sure how to respond to that, and let out another noncomittal grunt that had Karin sighing forlornly.

"You're one of them, aren't you? One of Konoha's genin? What's so bad there that you have to leave to train?"

"Karin," He warned.

"I don't see why you'd want the cursed seal anyway. It's... scary. I've seen it—"

_"Karin_."

Karin shut up, and Sasuke scowled to himself. He wasn't _one of them_. Even if he could stand staying there with Naruto, he'd be stuck completing pointless missions for the good of a corrupt village led by a corrupt Hokage and a corrupt council. With Orochimaru, his time was brutally optimized. There were no distractions, no friends there to confuse him, and no bonds making him questioning his path.

In the end, it was pointless to think about. Leaving wasn't really about training with Orochimaru. It was about putting himself in a position where he would be able to run into Higurashi and finally return to his own time. All Sasuke knew about the man was that someday in the future Higurashi would acquainted with Madara and Kabuto. Since neither of them were friendly with Konoha, staying there would accomplish nothing.

Sasuke tried not to consider the fact that he might have altered the future to the point where he'd never meet Higurashi at all, but it kept coming back to him as they moved through the forest. In the worst case scenario, if he had to completely redo the next couple of years... Sasuke tried to picture a world where he had stayed in Konoha, and his mind went blank. He shook himself at the thought; nothing was more disorienting than not knowing what to do with himself or having a purpose. Not that it mattered... Staying in Konoha was never an option. It was too late for that.

Just as he was about to push off from the nearest branch, a figure flickered in front of him. He jolted, startled as he rebounded backwards and jumped away from the intruder. His tomoes spun as he landed on the ground, and Sasuke glowered as he recognized the person standing ahead of him.

"Well, well. I had to see it to believe it. Can't say that I'm surprised." The woman's voice sounded smug, if not a little amused. "Hey now, I don't think we've been introduced. My name's—"

"Anko." Sasuke said, his voice detached and cold as he stood from his crouched position on the forest floor.

* * *

**A/N:**

I'd like to take a moment to really, really thank everyone who leaves feedback—you have no idea how helpful it is. Sasuke's a difficult and hugely divisive character to portray; the best someone can do is pick a characterization and stay consistent and believable within the story itself. I do have everything outlined and I know what I want to try and get across with each chapter, but without feedback (and without a beta... although I do have a friend who lets me ramble) I have no way of knowing if I'm successful or how it's being digested. Comments interpreting things like whether or not Sasuke thinks of Naruto as a friend, or is he just using him (or would he even know the answer to that question for himself)? are super helpful.

Also, some people have asked about Sasuke's motivations for wanting to reach Orochimaru; I try my best to address those questions within the story (without having to spell it out, although maybe I should?). When I'm finished, I'm probably going to do some editing (especially based on confusions people have had); there were certain scenes I had written in drafts that I cut out, for whatever reason, but I'm thinking of going back and adding things if needed. (For example, early on there was going to be a section where Kakashi attempted to reach out as a mentor towards Sasuke and was rebuffed; I ended up cutting it because of the time jump between chapters).


	18. Out Gambitted

**Chapter 18: Out Gambitted**

* * *

Sasuke regarded the woman before him with controlled detachment. Although Anko's face was still hidden in the shadows, the moon had provided enough light to identify her with ease. She was a slight and unimposing sight, yet the image made Sasuke bristle all the same. Strangely, rather than dread, a sense of relief washed over him. No matter how well-thought out his plan seemed, somehow he had known it wouldn't go down without a hitch. Things never did lately. He'd almost come to expect it.

Besides, it could have been worse. It could have been someone else—she could have had a squad with her.

Sasuke kept his head still as his eyes quickly scanned the area. She seemed to be alone, but appearances could be deceiving. His senses weren't what they used to be.

Relaxing his shoulders, Sasuke carefully let out the breath he had been holding. There was an easy way to find out—it wasn't as if he had much else to lose at this point.

"Already know my name, huh?" Anko was smiling at him. "So, Sasuke Uchiha. What exactly are you doing out past the gates this late?"

More importantly, what was _she _doing out past the gates this late? Was she one of the shinobi sent out to look for Naruto?

No, that couldn't be right. She didn't seem surprised to see him.

Sasuke shrugged. "Just going for a walk."

Anko looked at him seriously for a moment. Snorting, she said, "That backpack you're lugging around is telling me a different story. But hey, what do I know? If you're really only out for some fresh air, how about we just take a walk back on over to-"

In a flash, Sasuke was on her. He let his pack drop to the floor and thrust forward, kunai out and poised to strike.

Anko was ready for him—steel clashed with steel as she parried the first blow. She met each sweep with practiced ease until Sasuke's onslaught came to a halt. Jumped backwards, he quickly darted up the nearest tree, landing softly on one of the sturdier branches. Anko tensed, preparing to give chase, but stopped when she realized he wasn't moving. She craned her neck up to fix him with a perplexed look.

Sasuke regarded her with equal interest. She wasn't terribly fast, her taijutsu skills weren't anything special, and judging from the expression on her face, she didn't seem to be particularly bright. If Sasuke had to make a guess, he'd wager that her strength was ninjutsu. Not surprising, considering Orochimaru had once handpicked her as his student.

"Do you normally attack people when you go out on walks?" Anko said, her smile returning.

Sasuke considered this. Well, now that she mentioned it... "Only when I'm in a bad mood."

No one had jumped out from the shadows to aid Anko once he had turned hostile. It was safe to assume she was acting alone, not that he would have been able to do much differently if the opposite had turned out to be true.

Looking down, he saw Karin quivering near the tree trunk, almost directly below him. Anko didn't seem to be paying any attention to her—she must have dismissed the escaped prisoner as a non-threat.

"Karin, stay back."

When Karin nodded, Sasuke launched himself out of the tree and towards Anko. Anko braced herself to meet him, but as soon as he landed, Sasuke side stepped and rushed past her. He turned, and as he moved he let several shurikens fly.

Anko raised an eyebrow. "Genin..." she muttered. She threw herself to the right and dodged the small barrage with little effort. As she turned, Anko noticed a much larger fūma shuriken careening towards her from the direction she had moved towards. Anko pitched to the side again, but didn't appear to notice the shadow shuriken hidden in her blind spot. Sasuke gave a small smirk; it was fast approaching and she still hadn't—

"Look out behind you, Anko!"

Look out behind… wait, _Anko_?

Sasuke whipped his head towards Karin. She was still standing in the same spot; his backpack was sprawled across the grass near her feet. "It's the shadow shuriken technique! It's a trap, there's another one hidden! Move left!"

Anko twisted, lurching to the side—the metal blade grazed through the fabric of her vest, barely breaking skin. "I got this!"

What the fuck?

"What the hell do you mean _'look out behind you, Anko'_?!" Sasuke spat.

Karin studiously ignored him.

Dismissing her for the moment, Sasuke flexed his wrist and tightly gripped the ninja wire in his hand. With a strong jerk, he pulled the strands back towards him. The second shuriken sharply curved back towards Anko, abruptly changing course. Anko's attention was caught, though. The ploy wasn't enough to catch her off-guard a second time and the shuriken sailed past her, the attached wires gleaming briefly in the dim light.

Grounding herself, Anko performed a quick flurry of seals. "Fire Style: Dragon Flame Jutsu!"

Sasuke pursed his lips in confusion; she wasn't even facing him, but he braced himself anyway as a burst of fire erupted from her mouth. The flames licked forward, seemingly without a target. Suddenly, the thread caught fire and the flames beaded upward, whizzing across the wire.

Straight towards him.

Cursing under his breath, Sasuke cut the wire, losing most of its length. He jumped back; the fire spread until it reached the end of the thread and burst into several huge smoldering tendrils. Anko remained stationary as she waited for Sasuke's next move, but he had stopped to watch the fire until the last flames had sizzled out.**  
**  
When the fire had burned into nothing, Sasuke whirled on Karin. "You _bitch_."

Karin flushed, but didn't respond.

Sasuke glared at her. How in the... Anko and Karin? Well, that explained why she hadn't sensed Anko coming towards them.

Incredulously, he said, "You've only been captured for _three days_."

For the love of... was that all it took to get Karin to change sides? He didn't remember either of the guards being unusually attractive. And Ibiki, well...

"Tch," Sasuke shook his head. "I guess loyalty really can be bought."

Karin stiffened, her face darkening. "Shut up, you don't know anything!"

"I was going to free you!" Sasuke said, still glaring. "I can't believe this. You actually _betrayed _me."

If he hadn't been so angry, he almost would have been a little impressed. _Almost_.

"Betrayed you?" Karin rolled her eyes. "You might be a little, well," She stopped and looked at him with a hooded expression before shaking her head. "But I barely know you."

"Don't let him get to you," Anko said cheerfully. "Kid's just a sore loser." Looking at Sasuke, she added, "You should know better than to trust people so quickly—especially snakes. They tend to bite."

Karin gave her an annoyed look, and Anko laughed. "No offense, Karin, but I know the kinds of kids Orochimaru likes to pick up..." She paused, her eyes taking a dreamy, far-off quality for a second before becoming alert again. "But hey! It looks like you were telling the truth after all."

Karin folded her arms in a huff. "Of course I was!"

"Still, when you said soon, I wasn't expecting the next day. In a hurry to get somewhere, huh, Sasuke?" Anko shook her head. "Listen up, kiddo. I was Orochimaru's apprentice once, and let me tell you something. It's not worth it. Whatever it is you think you're going to get..."

Sasuke snorted, interrupting her. "I don't have to listen to this."

Anko clenched her jaw and opened her mouth—to yell at him, Sasuke presumed—but Karin spoke first. "Sasuke, you know... When we met, the first thing I noticed was your aura. It was cold and dark and it scared me a little," Karin admitted. "Everyone in Konoha was warm and comforting, and then you come along offering to drag me back to... I mean, what would you have done?"

Sasuke continued to stare at her with loathing, and Karin sighed. "It was small, but I saw something warm ebbing through your aura, just beneath the surface. I don't know why you're trying to leave or what you think you have to do, but whatever it is, it's not too late. You don't know Orochimaru like I—" she stopped and her eyes flit over to Anko, "—like we know him. He's trouble. The people there, the experiments that go on. The cursed marks."

Karin shivered slightly before continuing. "The people around him start to go crazy after a while. I saw them. You lose track of what's good and bad, what's right and wrong. The horrible things that you see there every day—they start to seem normal to everyone. They lose themselves," she paused. "I don't want to lose myself."

Sasuke scowled. "I'd never lose myself. No one's going to control me ever again." No one—that was a promise. "You're just weak-willed."

Karin flinched at the accusation. Pulling back the sleeve of her shirt, she stretched her forearm forward. Bite-marks covered her skin, but there weren't as many as he remembered seeing in the past. "It hurts every time. He tells me that it shouldn't hurt—that it should feel good because I'm helping with his research," Karin bit her lip. "Orochimaru took me in. I don't have anyone else. I was lonely, and he was so nice to me afterwards—the pain really did start to feel good. Don't you think that's scary?"

She waited for a response from Sasuke, but he didn't give her one. He could tell that she was trying to make him understand why she had led him into a trap, why she hadn't just told him no and let him wander off to Orochimaru alone—but none of it mattered. A small part of him wondered why she cared about his opinion in the first place.

"Konoha's not so bad." Karin added. "They understand... things," She glanced back at Anko once more and the tokubetsu jonin gave her a thumbs up. "The people there are nice."

"Nice? They're _nice_?" Sasuke repeated, his voice deceptively calm. "They locked you in a cell! They held you against your will. They interrogated you. They—" Sasuke sputtered and the words died on his lips as began pacing.

Karin took a few steps back and Anko moved to stand protectively in front of her. The action caught Sasuke's attention and he sneered at both of them. What, did Anko think he was going to attack Karin? What was the point of that? Karin couldn't fight. She was _useless_.

"Useless?!"

Unreliable. Airheaded. Flighty, volatile, _stupidly _loyal—

"You don't even know me!"

No, not loyal. At least, not to him, and certainly not to Orochimaru. This was a different Karin. She was right—he didn't know this girl at all.

Sasuke blinked and narrowed his eyes. Was he muttering out loud again? That was _not _a habit he was happy to have picked up. Either that or Karin could read minds. Now _that _would have been useful...

"And like you're any better! You wouldn't last a day without me," Karin said, livid. "ANBU would drag you right back to Konoha in a heartbeat and you know it. I'm not an idiot. You wouldn't have risked breaking me out unless you thought you couldn't make it on your own, so get off your stupid high horse."

"The only thing halfway useful about you is your sensing and you can't even do that right—"

At the sight of Karin's face turning red, Anko laughed. "What a lady-killer!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke seethed. God, these were the two most annoying women he'd ever met. Even Sakura wasn't this bad. She hadn't even badgered him to go out with her in... huh. He couldn't remember. Had it really been that long?

"C'mon, shortstuff," Anko took a step towards him. "I think we've had enough fun for one night. It's off to the Hokage with you."

Sasuke bristled; clenching his teeth, he adopted a defensive posture and stared up at her mutinously.

Anko sighed. "I guess we'll have to do this the hard way."

Without warning, a multitude of snakes shot out of both sleeves of Anko's jacket. Upon lengthening a good seven feet, the serpents retracted and formed a sharp S-shaped position, fangs barred and ready to strike at any second.

Sasuke recognized the species at once. Dark brown scales, large beady eyes and light bellies—they were a specific breed of elapid snake. Extremely toxic, although not life-threatening with quickly administered first aid and the right anti-venom treatment. A bite wouldn't kill right away, but the neurotoxins alone would be enough to incapacitate him via paralysis. Or it would be, if Orochimaru hadn't built up his tolerance to—

Oh, wait. That hadn't happened yet.

Just as the thought hit him, Anko's snakes struck. His heart sped up: there were too many of them. Upon reaching their full length, the snakes' bodies didn't become taut; they simply kept stretching towards him.

He could try jumping away or evading them, but there was no way he'd get out of striking distance fast enough.

He'd just have to...

Quickly, he performed the hand seals for the clone jutsu, and four copies winked into existence. Sasuke side-stepped sharply to the left. One of his clones followed at a less severe angle, and two more flew to the right, mirroring his own movements. The last clone jumped backwards: it hit the ground and without another look began running in the opposite direction.

Predictably, Anko smirked, and her snakes rushed forward after his fleeing clone and Sasuke veered forward, intent on heading back towards Anko in a wide arc. Although most of the summons had rushed past him, the nearest two heads on both sides had swiveled towards the supposed copies. One trailed after the clone closest to him as the final snake continued to accelerate rapidly after Sasuke.

Rushing forward, Sasuke sprinted towards the nearest tree. He jumped, launching himself off of the trunk for an extra burst of speed, but he wasn't fast enough. The snake's jaws unhinged and clamped down onto his left calf, its fangs sinking through fabric and straight into his flesh. Sasuke gasped, and the sound caught Anko's attention. She whipped around to face him. Her eyes took in the snake's tight grasp on his leg, instantly recognizing him as the real Sasuke.

When Anko closed in on him, with the snake still firmly attached to his calf and the rest of the reptiles curving towards him in unison, Sasuke reacted automatically.

"Chidori stream!"

Electricity crackled, erupting from his body from every direction. He felt the snake's jaw go limp as the creature dropped to the floor. Anko looked dumbfounded, eyes widening, unsure of what was happening; the electrical discharge reached her and the jonin's body went stiff. With a strong downward blow, Sasuke sent her flying to the floor. As she landed, he saw her head crack—hard—against the root of the tree beneath his feet.

The electrical sparks slowly faded and Anko remained unresponsive, eyes closed and body still. When the summoned snakes disappeared in turn, Sasuke kneeled over, breathing heavily as he leaned over to peer at the wound in his leg.

The bite was quickly beginning to swell. It needed to be bound, and fast. He didn't have long before the paralysis would set in—he was already starting to feel nauseous.

Sasuke lifted his head to locate his backpack; he tried to rise, but the motion gave way to a fierce wave of dizziness and blood rushed to his head.

He immediately fell back down to his knees.

Chidori stream used too much chakra. He was proud—more proud than he probably should have been, given his current predicament—but his body couldn't handle expending that much energy and reacting to the venom coursing through his blood at the same time.

He tried raising his head and blacked spots danced across his eyes, temporarily blinding him. When he could see, he glanced towards his belongings again, slower this time.

Karin towered over his backpack, shaking almost imperceptibly as several tremors wracked through her body. She froze when she saw Sasuke's eyes on her.

"Karin."

The redhead jumped at the sound of his voice. She looked at Anko's unconscious form, and then back at Sasuke before allowing her eyes to dart around the area.

Damn. She was going to make a run for it.

"Karin, wait," he repeated.

She took one more look at him before taking several steps back and bolting.

"Damn it," Sasuke shakily rose to his feet, only a little relieved when he didn't fall back down. There was no way he was going to be able to catch her.

He watched helplessly as her profile became smaller and smaller, her red hair tossing back and forth as she ran.

Sasuke let his head drop back down, partially in defeat and partially to control the nausea threatening to overtake him again. There was nothing he could do about her. He didn't have any antivenin in his pack, at least not for this kind of snake. Anko must, though, especially if she planned on paralyzing him that way from the get-go. Unless she had simply planned on dragging him back to the hospital...

From far off, Karin's footsteps abruptly halted; Sasuke heard her give a short, sharp gasp, and he looked up just in time to see her silhouette fall to the ground.

He didn't have time to think about who or what had incapacitated her. In a matter of seconds, her assailant was upon him. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a pair of spinning pinwheels and bright red eyes.

* * *

**A/N: **Someone asked about Sasuke's EMS, and since I can't PM them, here's my explanation (feel free to skip if you don't like theorizing):

When Tobirama talked about the Sharingan, he basically said: "special chakra sprouts inside their brains, which affects the optic nerve and produces a change in their eyes." The "special chakra" comes after experiencing the loss of a loved one/feelings of despair. That sorta feeds into Tobi's explanation of "the eternal curse of hatred" which I guess was supposed to explain why all of the Uchihas seem to go totally crazy. On a somewhat related note, that totally doesn't explain how Kakashi's MS was awakened, since I don't think his body/brain would have these chemicals (maybe they hitched a ride with the Sharingan? I don't know. I also don't know if Kakashi's woke up because of Obito's or if they were equally affected by Rin's death) but this is Kishimoto's explanation, not mine, so... Anyway, back on track. That one-time impact releases the chemicals? special chakra? causing the change, etc. etc. It's a physical thing, not a spiritual thing. From my interpretation of these events, it follows that when Sasuke went back in time and lost his tomoes (but not the awakening, since that happens pre-time travel), Sasuke would also have lost his MS. He therefore would not have the EMS; even if he had kept the MS, since his current eyes are his original ones and not Itachi's, they would not be eternal.


	19. Karma Houdini Warranty

**Chapter 19: Karma Houdini Warranty**

* * *

When Sasuke woke up, the painful throbbing in his head made him wish he hadn't.

It didn't take long for him to remember exactly why his head was pounding or why he felt like he was going to throw up: the snake bite. The failed escape attempt. Karin's betrayal.

Oh, and the chakra exhaustion wasn't helping his condition, either. Sasuke could only guess as to where he was now—hopefully not in a cell. He was a bit hesitant to open his eyes...

After a moment, he realized he could hear voices. The sounds were muffled at first, but they steadily became clearer as his senses returned to him and he finally pried his eyes open to look around. He strained to lift his neck and was surprised at the amount of effort it took. Looking over himself, Sasuke noticed there was an angry red mark on the inside of his arm from where an IV needle had previously been placed. His calf was throbbing at the puncture site; his pant leg had been cut off and the wound itself was neatly bandaged.

For a moment, he thought he might be in the hospital... but no. The Hokage was seated at the center of a long, narrow table on the other side of the room. In front of the desk stood Itachi and Danzō, both of whom appeared to be speaking in lowered voices.

Sasuke scowled: forget what he'd said earlier. He'd much rather be stuck in a cell than stuck in a room with Danzō.

Sasuke continued to scowl in their direction for several seconds before he decided he'd had enough and instead began struggling to lift himself up from his prone position on the cot. The ruffling of cloth as Sasuke moved caught the attention of the rest of the room, and three heads swiveled in his direction. The Hokage and Danzō gazed back at him dispassionately, remaining silent.

Itachi's eyes were unreadable when he spoke. "You're awake."

Spinning black and red pinwheels... Sasuke ground his teeth together. It was Itachi who had caught him—Itachi who had dragged him back and dropped him on Konoha's doorstep. And there he was, perfectly at ease standing next to Danzō. Talking to Danzō. Not killing Danzō.

Irritated, Sasuke continued with his attempt to rise and Itachi took a step towards him. "You need rest. We removed most of the poison, but your body is still recovering."

Sasuke ignored him.

"Sasuke, stop."

When Sasuke merely scoffed and renewed his struggling, Itachi took another step. "Stop moving or I _will _knock you out again."

Sasuke's movements ceased as heat rushed to his cheeks. For a second, the disapproval in Itachi's voice had made him feel like he was a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. How was it that Itachi still made him feel like a child, even after all this time? He wasn't five—he wasn't that little boy, that kid brother constantly yearning for approval. Itachi's opinion didn't matter to him. He didn't have to listen to him. He didn't care.

He _didn't_.

"That's better," Sarutobi said. "Now that you're awake, Sasuke, I have some questions for you. It would be wise of you to answer them. As it stands, your apprehension was not our priority. Naruto's was—but it appears that we've misread the situation," He paused. "Were you involved with Naruto's desertion?"

Sasuke was quiet. After some deliberation, he sighed. "Yes."

"Do you know where Naruto is now?"

Sasuke gave a weak shrug and looked away to stare at the wall. "I don't know. Somewhere in the village, probably."

The Hokage blinked. "Excuse me?"

"He was only supposed to send clones out past the village gates."

Danzō's whole frame twitched and a strangled noise rose from the back of Sarutobi's throat as he rose from his seat. "I will be back shortly."

The Hokage quickly left the room and a thick wave of tension settled in after his departure. Sasuke was refusing to look away from the wall, while Itachi and Danzo appeared to be ignoring each other's presence entirely. The awkward silence continued until the Third strode back in a few minutes later, reassuming his position at the table.

"Sasuke. Do you understand the magnitude of what you've done?" Sarutobi said. "Not only did you attempt to flee from the village, but you also intended on seeking asylum with an enemy of Konoha—someone who very recently conspired to start an international war, on top of being a missing-nin from this very village. This is treason. We cannot overlook your behavior any longer. I tried giving you an opportunity to think—a chance to reconsider the circumstances and reach the right decision on your own—and this is how you chose to repay me."

The Third peered intently at Sasuke from under the wide brim of his hat, and sighed to himself when he saw that the boy in question appeared to be sulking. "I will be meeting with the Council in the morning to discuss your sentence. In the meantime, until a decision has been reached regarding the appropriate measures to take—"

Danzō cut him off. "I will have Sasuke escorted back to his cell."

His cell? _His _cell? He'd only been held there for a week.

At the sight of Danzō moving towards him, Sasuke immediately seized up and managed to lift himself up into a sitting position. He began to snarl in protest, but before Danzō could reach him, Itachi had body flickered in front of his cot.

"No."

Danzō pinched his lips together tightly and glared down at Itachi, whose face remained stony. Neither man moved.

"This is not up for debate, nor is it your decision to make," Danzō said. "What we promised you back then no longer applies now."

Sarutobi gave a deep, tired sigh. "Danzō, perhaps..."

"Sasuke cannot be given a free pass to act on these negligent, childish whims of his without any repercussions—"

The word _childish_ caught Sasuke's attention, and he redirected his scowl back towards Danzō. "Childish? I—"

"Sasuke, it would be best if you did not speak," Itachi said curtly.

Danzō continued on as if neither of them had interrupted. "He is a danger to Konoha. He has just been caught attempting to defect, leading half of our forces out on a fool's errand, and yet you still have the nerve to ask us to leave him to his own devices."

"Sasuke is out of chakra and is recovering from systemic envenoming," Itachi reasoned. "Locking him up is unnecessary. He will not be going anywhere."

"Perhaps we could reach an agreement. Temporarily, of course," Sarutobi said. "I will have Sasuke escorted back to his home and put under house arrest. ANBU can watch over him until his case has been reviewed."

"Our forces are depleted enough as it is. It's ridiculous to have men stationed to watch him when there are perfectly good cells available," Danzō said. "If he were anyone else, he'd be locked up in isolation. Instead we're here arguing over nothing, preparing to cave into the demands of an S-class criminal and pampering an enemy of the state."

When Itachi still refused to move and the Third remained silent, Danzō sighed. "He should at least have his chakra repressed."

"So he won't be able to defend himself?" Itachi said, raising an eyebrow.

"Defend himself from who?" Danzō said. "ANBU?"

Itachi said nothing.

"You don't trust me."

"No."

They continued to stare at one another: Danzō calculating, Itachi unrelenting. When a minute had passed, Danzō relaxed his shoulders in satisfaction. "As it happens, I know of someone with an extensive knowledge of defensive barriers. Sasuke can be put in lockdown within the confines of his home-"—Itachi frowned, and Danzō quickly amended his statement—"-within the confines of the Uchiha district until we are ready to deal with him. No one will be able to enter or exit while the barrier holds. Is that an acceptable compromise?"

"Hn."

"Very well," Sarutobi said. "We will take care of it from here, Itachi. Danzō, call your men here. Don't bring them in until Itachi has left the area."

Itachi nodded, stepping aside, and Danzō looked down at Sasuke's huddled form on the cot. "Can you walk?"

"Stay the hell away from me!"

Itachi turned his attention back towards his brother. "Sasuke, enough. You cannot keep doing this. You will go back to the compound, and you _will _cooperate."

"I'm not going anywhere with that murderer—"

Danzō folded his arms behind his back. "He doesn't need to be conscious for this, Itachi."

Sasuke flared up at the remark, whipping towards him before promptly clutching his head in pain. Moving his head too fast was not a good idea...

"Hokage-sama, I wish to speak with Sasuke alone for a moment."

"What for?" Danzō eyed Itachi warily, but the Hokage had already risen from his seat.

"That's fine. Danzō has preparations to make as it is," Sarutobi inclined his head towards Danzō, and the other man grunted lightly. "I will be right outside the door."

The Hokage exited with Danzō at his heels, leaving Itachi and Sasuke alone for the second time in as many days. The experience was unsettling—although not quite as unsettling as being in a room with three men who were supposed to be dead.

Two of which Sasuke had personally killed.

"What were you hoping to accomplish by leaving the village?" Itachi asked. "If power is what you are after, you are looking in the wrong place. When did Orochimaru approach you?"

Sasuke bit his lip and looked away. Hadn't they talked about this already? He very clearly remembered expressing his desire for revenge against the village. Verbally, and repeatedly.

"If he has offered you anything, it is a lie. Orochimaru only wants the Sharingan. I am too strong for him to take over, but you—he will try to take you as a vessel."

Yes, Orochimaru would try. And fail.

"I wouldn't let Orochimaru use me," Sasuke said. "I'm stronger than that. You wouldn't understand."

Itachi gave him a bland, unimpressed look. "No, you are _not_. You are still a child." He paused for a moment. "Activate your Sharingan."

"Why?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Do it."

Sasuke glared. "No." From the moment he had woken up, all Itachi had done was order him around. What happened to the whole 'letting him make his own decisions' spiel?

Without warning, Itachi advanced on him. His Mangekyō eyes spun threateningly, and Sasuke jumped in his skin, his only thought _Tsukuyomi _as he activated his own Sharingan instinctually.

Itachi peered into his eyes and then nodded to himself, evidently satisfied with what he found. "Your Sharingan tomoe are not even fully developed yet. I don't know where you got the idea that Orochimaru would train you—even if he _has _approached you with the offer—but he is _dangerous_. He is powerful, he is a sannin and he is looking for a new vessel. How have you managed to convince yourself that you could overpower him?"

"Because I—" Sasuke stopped, biting down on his tongue. "I don't—You don't—" _Because I've already done it_, he wanted to say. His eyes shifted from Itachi to the door, where Sarutobi was waiting; for all he knew, the Hokage could hear everything they were saying and Sasuke felt another burst of frustration. "This conversation is a waste of time. I don't even want to be here." He crossed his arms and diverted his gaze back once more to the wall. "Just get me out of here already. I'll go to the compound, as long as it's not with _him._"

Sasuke looked back at Itachi to find his brother frowning at him curiously. The image was odd, and Sasuke wasn't sure if he'd ever seen such an unusual mixture of emotions on his face.

"Nothing I said yesterday reached you. I asked you not to do anything rash, and instead you did exactly that," Itachi said, and Sasuke cringed—there it was again. Disappointment. " I still don't know who told you what you know. Perhaps if I had explained the truth to you yesterday, we could have avoided this mess entirely."

Itachi bent down until he was eye level with Sasuke. "I could tell you what happened, but I think I'll show you instead."

"What?"

The pinwheels spun, and Sasuke's world turned. For an instant, he thought he was going to be sick. Then the world righted itself, and Sasuke found that he was no longer in the Hokage's office. The moment he saw Itachi's back—younger, in clothes that were forever seared into his memory—Sasuke knew he was in a genjutsu.

No, not just a genjutsu.

"These are... Itachi's memories..."

Sasuke watched, dazed, as his brother's memories blinked in and out of existence, hand-picked and melded seamlessly together. The order seemed sequential, but highly disjointed. He listened in as Itachi spoke with Shisui. The words flew by:_ the coup can't be stopped_—_civil war will start_—_countries will inevitably attack_—_diplomacy no longer an option.  
_  
He heard Shisui's plea.  
_Please protect the village... and the Uchiha's name._

He heard Danzō's warning...  
_If the Uchiha coup takes place, they will be necessarily annihilated either way... regardless of whether or not there is a war. There's no stopping it._

...and his offer.  
_You can choose whether or not to accept this mission. You are the only one who can do it. You can join the Uchiha in their rebellion... or you can stop the coup before everything falls into chaos._

The memories skipped, and Itachi was speaking with Madara, making a tentative alliance to destroy the clan together...

_There, that man_. The last Uchiha. Unlike Itachi, he wasn't trying to protect the village—he wasn't trying to protect anything. There was only spite and hatred driving him. Out of everyone involved—the council, Konoha, Itachi—that man, without a doubt, deserved death.

There was another skip, and Sasuke was with them again. His mother. His father. He had replayed this scene so many times before, against his will—this same room, this same night—but every time there was only death.

This time, he heard words.  
_Itachi, promise me that you will take care of Sasuke. The way we think is different, but I'm still proud of you... You really are gentle._

There was blood and tears, and suddenly Sasuke was staring at Itachi again, his brother looking as calm as always.

The disorientation was too much for him. Sasuke's stomach heaved, once, twice, and he leaned over the cot and vomited. When the heaving stopped, Sasuke coughed up the last remnants of bile and tried to lift his head back up, but his neck felt weak again and all he could think was _stupid damned snakes. _

Itachi tentatively placed a hand over Sasuke's head. "When we spoke yesterday, you were right. You are following your own path now, regardless of what I wanted for you. I cannot control you. It is just another failure of mine I must accept. But Sasuke... No matter what you decide to do, I will always love you," Itachi paused for a moment. "If you want to hate the village—if this is the path you choose—then so be it, but please, do not throw away your life in search of power. Going to Orochimaru now, while he is in full strength, would only lead to your death. Everything I have sacrificed to keep you alive would be made meaningless."

Itachi removed his hand and took a step back. "If not for me, then do it for our parents. They would not have wanted this for you."

With that, Itachi departed.

* * *

The next events passed by in a blur. Sarutobi had taken Itachi's place in the room after his brother had left and at some point, Danzō had re-entered. With him were several ANBU agents, with faces masked and bodies hidden under dark cloaks. Kakashi was with them, too, looking travel-worn and weary. There was quiet whispering, followed by more disappointed looks in his direction until a new cloaked ANBU entered. This seemed to be who they were waiting for: as soon as the man stepped foot into the room, conversation temporarily ceased.

Minutes later, Sasuke was being hauled to his feet, an ANBU operative on either side supporting his weight while he regained his balance. To Sasuke's surprise, he was able to walk without support, and he was grateful that most of his muscle weakness seemed to be localized and was gradually disappearing.

He was also grateful—and surprised—that Kakashi had been brought down to escort him instead of Danzō.

Sasuke allowed himself to be led like a puppet by Kakashi and the accompanying ANBU to the Uchiha district without further resistance. His legs felt leaden, and he moved down the path mechanically, drained and unresponsive to the outside world.

When they reached the outskirts of the district, the two ANBU at his side grabbed his shoulders and nudged him forward before taking several steps back themselves.

The last ANBU operative retrieved a scroll from within his cloak and placed it on the ground. As he began performing a long string of handsigns, Sasuke took a closer look at the scroll and noticed that it was a map of the compound. Nearly fifty signs later, the man ducked down and placed both hands on the scroll. As his fingers touched the parchment, the air shifted. Suddenly, Sasuke was looking back at Kakashi and the other shinobi through a blue tint. He raised a hand to the barrier and pressed—as he edged closer, it became more and more difficult to move forward until his palm was forced back entirely.

Then Kakashi was speaking to him. His voice was formal, tired—Sasuke saw Kakashi's lips moving from beneath the mask, but only half of his words registered.

_The council__—__convening tomorrow morning__—__don't try anything__—__given you chances__—__the last straw.  
_  
A repeat of what he had heard earlier. Sasuke absently wondered if Kakashi knew about Itachi. Was he aware that Itachi was still loyal to the village? Did he know about the coup? Was he still in the dark?

Did it even matter?

Kakashi finished speaking and turned, walking away with the ANBU operatives at his side. They did not glance back.

Sasuke watched them leave, staring at their backs with unseeing eyes before eventually turning too. Robotically, he walked further into the compound, past the first set of buildings. His pace was slow_—_he saw his house ahead, but when he reached it, he walked past it and kept going until he neared the other side of the compound. He passed through an abandoned garden between houses and when he was surrounded by trees, he looked up as he walked, paying partial attention. The sky was bright with stars and all traces of clouds had vanished_—_even the weather hadn't been on his side. Maybe he would have gotten caught anyway.  
**  
**With that thought, Sasuke stopped in the middle of the clearing, a disconcerting feeling settling over him. His skin crawled, and he shivered. There was something there, itching at the back of his mind. Something that Itachi had said... What was it? Sasuke wracked his brain. It had been about...  
_  
"Going to Orochimaru now, while he is in full strength__—__"_

And then it hit him. Sasuke nearly jumped in his skin, startled by the sudden revelation. Orochimaru didn't have his arms sealed... and there was a very good chance that he hadn't yet taken a new vessel.

For a moment, Sasuke couldn't believe he had overlooked that fact. He had blindly assumed that if he sought out Orochimaru, things would proceed as expected: he'd stay there, he'd train, he'd get stronger, and he'd kill Orochimaru. Just like he had before_—_just like he had in his own time.

But he wasn't _in_ his time, and it chilled him to the bone to realize he had so hugely misinterpreted practically everything that mattered. Because Itachi_—__Itachi was right_. He could have been killed. Orochimaru just lost at least part of the Sound Four: his plans had been ruined, his ploy against Konoha had been foiled, and the snake sannin at his best was unpredictable.

Sasuke allowed himself to collapse onto the grass below and continued staring up at the sky. The stars twinkled: they were vibrant and bright, far away and untouchable. Five stars clustered together caught his eye, and he tried to remember the name of the constellation. A long-forgotten memory overcame him: he was small, sitting with his mother under the stars, with her pointing high into the air and him trying to memorize her words as she spoke. He tried to remember what her features looked like in the moonlight, but all he could see was her face on the night she was killed. Her face turned into his father's_—_stern, proud, bittersweet_—_as Fugaku spoke not to himself but to his brother:**  
**  
_The way we think is different, but I'm still proud of you..._

For the life of him, Sasuke could not wrap his mind around why. Why would their father have been proud of Itachi? Fugaku had been leading a rebellion. The clan wanted to revolt against Konoha... so why would they be proud of his brother's decision?

Sasuke scrunched his eyebrows together as a sharp pain in his head overloaded his senses. The more he tried to think about Itachi's memories, the more confused he became. He heard Shisui's voice again_—__Please protect the village... and the Uchiha's name__—_but in his mind, the words weren't coming from his cousin's mouth. They were coming from his father's.

Is that why his father was proud? Was it because Itachi wanted to protect the village, even if it meant going against his clan? Was that all that mattered?

Would he have been proud of Sasuke?

Sasuke clenched his hands, weaving the blades of grass between his fingers. What was so important about the village? What was so special about Konoha_—_why was protecting it worth sacrificing the lives of an entire clan?

He shifted, rolling over onto his stomach and planted his head face first into the grass. He closed his eyes and took a deep whiff: it was fresh and earthy and almost brought him back down to reality.

He didn't understand. He just didn't get it. The knowledge that he couldn't, just _couldn't _comprehend their logic_—_not just Itachi's, but his father's, his family's_—_threw him for a loop. And thinking just made his headache worse.

Angry and frustrated, he tried dismissing it from his mind_—_because what was the point in thinking about what he couldn't understand? It didn't accomplish anything_—_but his thoughts immediately latched back onto Orochimaru, and he felt stupid all over again.

Because staring him in the face was yet another prime example of something Itachi had realized that Sasuke hadn't.

In the end, he hadn't thought anything through_. _He didn't know enough. For the first time, Sasuke realized he couldn't trust himself_—_didn't trust his own decisions, because what else didn't he know? Every turn he made, some new piece of information would pop up that he hadn't considered. All he'd ever done his entire life was fail: he wasn't strong enough to save his parents, he couldn't make himself kill Naruto , he hadn't trained enough to beat Itachi without a handicap, , and when he finally _had _killed Itachi, it turned out that everything he thought had been a lie.

Even now, he had a chance to start over, and what had he accomplished outside of making a whole lot more mistakes, a whole lot sooner? The universe was fucking with him. It was some kind of test: what else could go wrong? How else would he fail? Because that's all he ever did_—fail.  
_**  
**Sasuke let out a low groan, and as he did he felt something warm and scaly slide across the skin of his exposed leg. Sasuke's head snapped up, his elbows propping up the front of his body as he twisted his neck to look behind him.

It was only a garden snake.

Sasuke shook his leg and the creature scuttled off. Sighing to himself, he turned to sit up fully... and noticed a much larger snake hugging the trunk of a nearby tree just across from him. The snake caught his gaze, and Sasuke saw awareness in its eyes. The creature's tongue flickered out, and as it slithered towards him meaningfully, the hairs on the back of his neck stood as a cold fear gripped him.

* * *

**A/N:** AU interpretation: Sasuke's at the principal's office. Sarutobi is the principal, Danzo is the teacher whose car got egged, and Itachi is the single parent/legal guardian who had to take time off of work to go pick his son up from school early.

Huge thanks to **Blackrazgriz **for offering to beta! An extra pair of eyes really helps a ton.

And another ramble about the manga…

Naruto forums after chapter 636: Could Obito beat Sakura without kamui?  
Naruto forums after chapter 637: OBITO IS THE STRONGEST NINJA TO EVER LIVE

On the plus side, Kakashi's still hangin' in there, although a disturbingly large amount of people wanted him to kick the bucket…


	20. Crying Wolf

**Chapter 20: Crying Wolf**

* * *

Sasuke swiftly rose to his feet and as he did the snake froze in its tracks, eyes still locked on his form. He stood still too, surmising that any further movements on his part might provoke another reaction out of the reptile. The snake wasn't within striking distance... but then, it wasn't the snake he was worried about.

Keeping eye-contact with the creature, Sasuke called out, "Show yourself!"

His call echoed throughout the clearing and at the sound of his voice, the snake feinted towards him in a half-strike. Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath of air in response but managed to hold his position without flinching. This seemed to be the desired effect—the snake retracted its tongue and closed its jaws. After giving Sasuke one more quick glance, it leisurely slid back towards the tree and wrapped itself around the trunk, seemingly no longer interested in his presence.

A peal of laughter rang out in the night, insidious and alarmingly familiar, as a figure stepped out from behind the corner of the nearest house. His former master's face was just as gaunt and pale as he remembered and his eyes just as snakelike. In spite of his sickly appearance, this Orochimaru seemed to possess a level of vigor that Sasuke hadn't sensed in him since their first meeting in the Forest of Death.

The sannin was smirking as he came into view, but a mocking pout quickly settled across his lips as he took in Sasuke's condition. "Pity. I had hoped to test you a bit, but it looks like you're in no condition to play."

Sasuke's muscles tensed. "Orochimaru..."

"So you recognize me, do you? Interesting," Orochimaru quirked an eyebrow. "Perhaps you can imagine my surprise when I found out Itachi was back in Konoha after disappearing without warning from an Akatsuki mission. And all just to pay his little brother a visit... Was it a heartfelt reunion? I imagine you had a lot to catch up on."

Sasuke remained silent. Orochimaru had spies in the Akatsuki, but how did he know..? Did the Akatsuki know that Itachi had talked to him, too, or had someone else told Orochimaru?

"I had hoped to run into you earlier, Sasuke-kun, but in spite of your supposed potential, you weren't at the Chuunin Exams," Orochimaru continued. "It's all very suspicious. My plans being exposed before they have a chance to take flight, Itachi suddenly returning to Konoha, the youngest Uchiha conspicuously absent from the exams... and then you, Sasuke-kun, knowing who I am before we've even met." The sannin paused and shook his head in disappointment. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Your dear older brother warned you about me, didn't he? He left you alive all those years ago and now he wants to keep you out of my reach."

Sasuke blinked and stared at Orochimaru in confusion. What was he talking about? Itachi hadn't made any move to stop Sasuke from approaching Orochimaru in his time. As long as Sasuke had still been set on revenge, Itachi had been more than willing to play the part of the uncaring, murderous older brother. The only reason Itachi had bothered to show up in Konoha at all this time was because the jig was up. Itachi hadn't even known that Sasuke had planned on joining Orochimaru.

..But Orochimaru didn't know that. From his point of view...

"And here I thought I would find a boy whose only goal in life was vengeance against his brother. Things certainly aren't going the way I thought they would, but that's what makes life so interesting, isn't it?"

"What do you want?" Sasuke's tone was clear and confident, and he was relieved he had managed to keep the alarm out of his voice.

Orochimaru gave a short cackle before sticking out his tongue and twirling it seductively through the air. "Your body."

Sasuke cringed. He knew what Orochimaru meant, but come on... Was that _really _necessary?

Gulping, Sasuke took a step back. "Aren't I a little young for you?"

"Normally, but since you're just my type, I'm willing to make an exception. Especially in light of my current predicament," Orochimaru smiled. His snake had begun moving again, circling the tree lethargically as it waited for orders from its master.

Sasuke didn't have a plan; he couldn't seem to come up with one that didn't end up with him in a very bad position. All he had managed so far was 'keep Orochimaru talking—he loves the sound of his own voice.' Buying time might not accomplish anything, but delaying the inevitable never hurt, right?

"What predicament?" Sasuke asked.

"Itachi," Orochimaru said. "With your brother taking an interest in your welfare, this could very well be my last opportunity to obtain a vessel with the Sharingan." **  
**  
Damn... What else...?

"How-how did you pass through the barrier? No one is supposed to be able to get in or out."

Orochimaru's grin widened briefly before he pursed his lips and feigned a thoughtful expression. "Hmmm... Maybe I've been waiting here for a while... or maybe there are certain people who find your presence troublesome. Maybe it would be better for those people if you were to disappear—who knows?"

Sasuke frowned at Orochimaru's evasive reply. Both scenarios were possible, but seeing as neither explanation boded well for Sasuke, it probably didn't make a difference... The only thing that mattered now was figuring out how to get away.

"You're thinking of running, aren't you? Where are you planning on going?" Orochimaru clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Out here, no one will hear you scream."

"You're wrong. We're in the middle of town," Sasuke pointed out. "People will hear. And—"

"Ah, but will anyone come for you?"

"—and even if you can pass through the barrier somehow, I can't. So if you're planning on taking me anywhere, you're out of luck."

"Hmmm, is that so?"

Orochimaru's eyes gleamed with amusement and Sasuke felt his bravado shatter. It was already wavering dramatically before, but Orochimaru's nonchalance was throwing him off-guard. He tried telling himself that Orochimaru had always been exceedingly arrogant—often to his own downfall—and that he had no reason to be that confident... but it wasn't true. Even if Sasuke hadn't been drained of chakra, he wouldn't have stood a chance against Orochimaru—with or without sealed arms.

With that thought, Sasuke bolted. He rushed through the garden and past rows of abandoned buildings without looking back, half expecting to feel the sharp sting of snake fangs piercing through his flesh with every step.

But no bite ever came, and Orochimaru made no move to cut off his retreat. Instead, the sannin let out a deep, hearty laugh and placidly watched as Sasuke fled. "There's nowhere for you to run, Sasuke-kun. You might as well try hiding from me too, while you're at it. I'll even give you a thirty minute head start. Maybe even an hour—or two, or three..."

Orochimaru's words faded as Sasuke sprinted away as fast as he could. His calf burned uncomfortably with each step and his head was still a little fuzzy: he could already tell he was going to be out of breath far sooner than normal.

Sasuke kept running until he reached the perimeter of the complex, where he saw the tell-tale blue hue of the erected barrier. Cursing, he continued running along the edge of the enclosure, eyes peeled and alert for any signs of life.

This was not good. He was still exhausted and out of chakra and—and how could they just _leave him_ like that?! They could have at least made Karin—damn it, fuck Karin! This was all her fault! And how the hell did Orochimaru get in? Where were those goddamn guards, and what kind of bullshit barrier did Danzō put up, anyway? Obviously, Orochimaru didn't need to set up an elaborate ruse with Sand to mount a sneak attack. He could probably just stroll through the gates and knock out the guards without breaking a sweat. Naruto had no problem breaking into the goddamn Hokage's private office and stealing a forbidden scroll, after all, so clearly security wasn't Konoha's strong suit. Honestly, if _he _were Hokage...

Rushing along the bend, Sasuke finally spotted Kotetsu's familiar head of black, spiky hair patrolling down the road with another chuunin. Both shinobi stopped walking at the sound of Sasuke's heavy footsteps and gazed at him curiously as he approached.  
**  
**Sasuke skidded to a halt in front of the barrier separating them, breathing heavily. "You have to let me out," Sasuke gasped. "Orochimaru is here!"

The unknown chuunin gave him blank look. "Orochimaru?"

"Yes. He's here, inside the barrier. I can't get out, but he can, and-" Sasuke stopped, frustrated. "He's coming for me."

Kotetsu was silent for several moments before he raised both eyebrows. ".._Right_. And I'm the Hokage."

Sasuke stared at him incredulously. "I'm telling you the truth. Why would I lie about this?"

"I don't know, maybe to get us to take down the barrier?" Kotetsu said. "Or maybe just for kicks? You already got me good tonight with that Kyuubi story. I'm not falling for that again, so forget about it."

"Then you come in! I'm telling you the truth!" Sasuke repeated. "Just come and see for yourself!"

"I don't have the ability to break through the barrier, so you're wasting your breath," Kotetsu said. "Just wait until tomorrow. They'll probably be meeting first thing in the morning... although I wouldn't be in such a hurry to get out if I were you."

This wasn't happening. Didn't Orochimaru warrant some kind of immediate response? Didn't he at least want to be sure? Kotetsu was just a damned chuunin; he didn't have the authority to...

"Bring the Hokage here," Sasuke insisted. "What if I'm telling the truth and you didn't do anything about it?"

After exchanging a few meaningful glances with each other, the unnamed chuunin shrugged and Kotetsu ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. "You're not gonna let this go, are you? We were almost done with the patrol for the night, too... Yet another errand for the messenger boy... Fine."

Resigned, Kotetsu and his partner turned back to continue on the road. Sasuke froze, suddenly worried that they'd disappear without coming back.

"Wait!" Sasuke said. "Don't leave me here alone!"

"You serious?"

Sasuke glared.

"I guess that's a yes," Kotetsu sighed. "Alright, Hiro. Stay here while I go... uh, get the Hokage or whatever. I'll be back in fifteen."

Hiro gave him a quick thumbs up, and Kotetsu departed, leaving Sasuke alone with the might-as-well-have-been-nameless chuunin. Sasuke waited skittishly next to him, skeptically sizing up his temporary protector. If Orochimaru could break through the barrier, killing this guy would be nothing. He wasn't much protection at all... Sasuke might as well still be alone.

Ten minutes later, Kotetsu returned."The Hokage says to go to sleep."

Sasuke blanched. "What?!"

"And I quote, 'I think we've heard enough from him for one night'," Kotetsu added.

Panicking, Sasuke stomped as close to the barrier as he could get without being repelled and planted himself there. "Then I'm just going to stay right here all night."

"Go for it," Kotetsu said. Giving his temporary partner another look, he waved a hand at Sasuke. "See you around, Uchiha." With that, Kotetsu and Hiro strode past him, resuming their walk around town.

"Hey! Where are you going?!"

Weren't they going to stay and guard him or something, at least? Didn't this barrier require anyone to hold it up, or had they just cast a low-level version designed to keep someone without much chakra in?

"We're going to finish our patrol and then head back to the guard post," Kotetsu said from over his shoulder. "Not that it's any of your business."

"But—"

"Just go to sleep, Sasuke."

Sasuke stood there, slack-jawed with disbelief as they walked down the path. Away from him. Away from Orochimaru.

"I mean it!" Sasuke called out once more, before they were out of hearing range. "I'm not moving from this spot!"

Without turning around or stopping, Kotetsu waved back at him. "I believe you!"

* * *

By 'I'm going to stay here all night' and 'I'm not moving from this spot', Sasuke actually meant 'I'll stay here for about five minutes before panicking and running around the perimeter again.' He circled the complex three times before realizing that Kotetsu and Hiro had been on the last patrol of the night. It took Sasuke another five laps for him to accept that the odds of him running into a random person wandering the streets at this hour were not in his favor.

That was it, then. Orochimaru was going to take him and no one would be the wiser. Would he take his body now—here? Or was he going to drag him to Sound first? Would he lock him up for three years and wait until he was older? That was unlikely, but who could really say...

Strangely, the realization that he stood no chance against Orochimaru didn't overwhelm him. Instead, his panic slowly abated until only a numbing sense of apathy was left. If by some miracle he found a way out—what then? The Hokage might throw him back in anyway. Hell, they might even be relieved that Sasuke was out of the picture... although fortunately, Orochimaru with the Sharingan was a scary thought, so that was probably unlikely. Looking at the situation from all angles, the best outcome Sasuke could see involved himself back in a cell with his chakra sealed.

Sasuke slumped in resignation. Taking one last look at the barrier, he turned and headed back to his house. If he was going to go out fighting and die, he was going to die in his home.

Where he should have died years ago.

* * *

Sasuke stared at his front door for some time before bothering to open it. Twisting the doorknob, he flinched as he flung the door open, almost expecting to see Orochimaru's face on the other side.

Orochimaru wasn't there, but someone else was.

Standing in his kitchen in front of a wide-open fridge, muttering to himself as he glanced from shelf to shelf—and, oddly enough, wearing a _very_ familiar short-sleeved blue shirt and long white shorts— was Naruto.

"What..." Sasuke paused, sputtering. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Sasuke!" Naruto spun around, frowning. "What d'yah mean 'what am I doing here?' What are _you _doing here?!"

"I _live _here, you dolt."

"You're supposed to be running away! Shouldn't you be hours away from here by now?" Naruto shook his head. "Geez, Sasuke. You're really slow."

Sasuke's eye twitched in annoyance. Striding into the living room, he said, "Why are you in my house, going through my fridge—"-Sasuke gave him a look-"—wearing my clothes?"

"Eh?" Naruto looked down at his clothes. "Oh, right. Hey, you're the one who threw these at me and told me to put them on. Something about masking my scent or something? I can't remember. It was really weird."

"Oh yeah." Sasuke vaguely remembered that... "That doesn't answer my other two questions."

"Well, you told me to hide somewhere, but I couldn't think of anywhere so I just went to Ichiraku's."

Sasuke nearly smacked himself in the face.

"But then I realized I didn't have any money on me, so I went home instead."

Oh, because that was so much better. "Naruto, I swear-"

"And _then _when I got there I realized I was completely out of food. But I thought, 'Hey! Sasuke probably has loads of food left in his kitchen!' I mean, It's not like you were gonna need it anymore, right?" Closing the fridge with one hand, Naruto looked around the house thoughtfully. "You know, this place is a lot bigger than my apartment..."

What the hell was wrong with him? Didn't Naruto realize how thoroughly, inordinately, one-hundred percent screwed they both were? Next he was probably going to say, 'Oh, your plan to run off failed, huh, Sasuke? That's too bad. And now some crazy guy's after you? Well, I know just the thing to cheer you up—Ichiraku's!'

"Hey Sasuke, where do you keep the ramen? I checked the pantry but nothing was in there."

It was just too much.

"I don't have any ramen!" Sasuke exploded. "I'm sick of ramen! I hate ramen! Why won't the ramen ever leave me alone!?" Snapping the pack off of his leg, Sasuke chucked it at the wall and when that did little to alleviate his rage, he proceeded to kick the nearby armchair with his good leg.

Naruto watched on, completely flabbergasted by the display. "Whoa, Sasuke... I think you need to calm down."

Sasuke stopped kicking the frame of the chair and looked up at Naruto; as he did, his anger immediately deflated, and he was left feeling just as empty and useless as earlier. The sensation was accompanied by a familiar yet simultaneously foreign feeling of guilt for yelling at Naruto, who really hadn't done anything wrong. Well, except for failing at hiding, but that was neither here nor there.

Sighing once more, Sasuke flopped onto the floor where he was standing and stared up at the ceiling tiles. "I'm going to die," Sasuke stated solemnly. "Orochimaru's going to have his way with me and I'm going to die."

Naruto paled in horror.

"I don't even care anymore," Sasuke added as he continued to stare up apathetically at the ceiling.

"Orochimaru's going to _what_?"

Sasuke let out a deep sigh."He's going to take my body and—"

"Uh, yeah, okay, I got that part, you don't need to go into detail—" Naruto cut him off, waving his hands pleadingly through the air.

Sasuke stopped looking at the ceiling long enough to glare at him.

The blonde didn't seem to notice. "But isn't Orochimaru that guy who almost attacked the village during the exams?"

Sasuke hummed noncommittally and gave a half shrug from his position on the floor.

"What's he got to do with anything?"

Sasuke sighed again. He had purposefully omitted Orochimaru's name when discussing their plan earlier. Naruto's punishment would have been much worse had he known Sasuke's exact destination. "That's who I was leaving to find... until I got caught."

"And you were gonna go train with him?!" Naruto exclaimed, bug-eyed. "When he said he'd train you, did you know he wanted your body for—for that?"

"Of course I _knew. _I just didn't think he'd be strong enough to take me," Sasuke frowned to himself. "I thought he'd wait until I was older before trying. I was hoping he'd train me first... I didn't expect him to want me so soon."

"That's sick," Naruto was starting to look a little green in the face. "You're only... you can't even grow a beard yet!"

"He doesn't care," Sasuke said. "He might even prefer it this way, all things considered. I won't be able to overpower him..."

Sasuke briefly wondered if Orochimaru knew that Naruto was in the complex. If Orochimaru had been there for any decent length of time, he must have been able to sense him, right? **  
**  
"Naruto, you should go. You're just going to die if—" Sasuke stopped, and abruptly shot up. "Shit. The barrier."**  
**  
"What barrier?"

"You idiot! Of all the places you could have hid..." Sasuke anxiously ran a hand through his hair and rose to his feet. "They placed a barrier around the entire complex. Nobody can get in or out," Sasuke explained. "And Orochimaru is in here with us."  
**  
**"Oh," Naruto said, not sounding particularly disturbed by the revelation. "Hey, maybe we can find some guards or something. If they see me they might let us out!"

Sasuke sighed. "I already tried asking for help. There's no one left around here. I looked. And even if there was, they'd just think I was henging into you to try to get out."

Naruto scratched his head. "Well then, I guess we're just gonna have to fight him."

"I can't fight. I'm injured and out of chakra."

"So what, you're just gonna give up?"

Naruto was really good at getting on his nerves today, wasn't he? And just when Sasuke had managed to stop caring, too... "Find somewhere to hide—I'll go back out and fight him alone. It doesn't matter anymore."

This got an immediate reaction out of Naruto. Angrily, he approached Sasuke and hoisted him up by the collar—Sasuke passively let him, mildly irritated but otherwise unmotivated to fight back.

"Shut up about hiding! Whoever this guy is, I'm not afraid of him. What kind of coward would just run away and let their friend be kidnapped by some sick pervert?"

"..Pervert? What-"

"So you can just forget about it because I'm not going anywhere!" That said, Naruto let go of his collar. "You might be out of chakra, but I'm not. Besides, ever since watching the finals, I've been wanting to test out my new jutsu."

"Naruto, I don't think you understand how powerful Orochimaru is. He's even stronger than the Hokage—"

"I don't care! I'm busting us outta the barrier no matter what, and I'll pummel anyone who tries to stop me! That's my nindo, my ninja way!"

Sasuke blinked. Since when did his nindo involve pummeling people?

...Well, whatever. His old nindo was stupid anyway.

And if Naruto wanted to come with him to fight Orochimaru, well... at least they'd go out with a bang. Naruto had surprised him before, and it's not like Sasuke could stop him.

"Okay," Sasuke said, and Naruto looked surprise at the lack of protest. "Let's go. He's waiting outside... somewhere."

"Wh-really? Are you ready?"

Sasuke shrugged. "As ready as ever."


	21. Take A Third Option

**Chapter 21: Take A Third Option**

* * *

"_Sasuuuke_, you said we didn't have time to eat, but we've been standing out here for _hours _and nothing's happening."

Sasuke stopped pacing and fixed Naruto with a glare. "It's only been thirty minutes. Quit whining."

Naruto groaned and idly stretched his limbs, sighing in satisfaction as each joint popped. Thirty minutes spent on the prowl, wandering through a creepily abandoned district—and on an empty stomach, no less—was about as much as Naruto could handle.

Choosing to ignore the signs of Naruto's dwindling attention span, Sasuke resumed walking, his eyes on a never-ending search for any signs of Orochimaru. "He's here somewhere, watching us. Waiting to strike when we least expect it."

He was probably watching them right then, somewhere in the trees... he'd wait until the two of them couldn't take the anticipation anymore, and just as they were about to snap—

"Geez, do you have to keep jerking your head every three seconds? You look like you're having a seizure."

"Shut up. And stop staring at me. You should be looking for the enemy, not watching the back of my head," Sasuke snapped. "When he kills you first, don't come crying to me."

"It doesn't look like anyone's even out here," Naruto yawned. "Are you sure you're not hallucinating? I mean, you're even more paranoid than usual today, Sasuke. You're always like 'Konoha's out to get me! Kakashi's out to get me!' And now it's 'Orokodoki's out to get me!' I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to go running off."

"First of all, it's Orochimaru and I _know _you know that,and secondly, they _are _out to get me—"

Naruto stretched again and Sasuke heard him give another exaggerated yawn. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Oh, hey, I forgot to call off the rest of my clones."

Pausing mid-step, Naruto made the hand sign to dispel his shadow clones, and his eyes widened in surprise as he completed the action. "Whoa! Holy crap, Sasuke!"

"What?" Sasuke whirled towards him, immediately battle ready. "What is it? Do you see him?"

"See who?" Naruto shook his head. "Oh. No, no. But one of my clones was _this _close to being drop kicked by some scary looking dude with a bowl cut before I dispelled them—oh man... I mean, some of my clones got caught already, but—"

Sasuke glowered at him briefly before becoming contemplative. "Were all of your clones being pursued? Did _any _get away?"

Naruto scratched his chin. "Nope, they got 'em all tracked. I probably could have lasted another half hour though..."

"Just a half hour?! That's pathetic—"

"What?!" Naruto said, looking affronted. "Jounin are really fast, okay! Like you could do better!"

Sasuke snorted. "As a matter of fact, I could."

"Says the guy who got caught, beaten up and tossed inside a _giant barrier_—_"  
_  
"That wasn't my fault, I was betrayed—"

"Oh, isn't this adorable?" A new voice called out.

Sasuke and Naruto both froze.

Naruto spun around and Sasuke quickly followed suit. Their eyes both locked on the third figure standing several dozen feet behind them on the path, and Sasuke broke out in a cold sweat.

"That scared the crap outta me," Naruto said, relaxing slightly at the sight of the newcomer. "You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that. Iruka-sensei says it's rude and that you can give old people heart attacks that way. And also, who the heck are you?"

If Sasuke wasn't busy trying to look as stoic as possible, he might have groaned. "Who the hell do you think it is?"

"How should I know?" Naruto took a step towards the newcomer. "Hey, you! If your name's not Orochimaru, then get lost!"

Orochimaru stared at them both in silence before very carefully raising one eyebrow. "Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke braced himself.

"Why is there an obnoxious child following you?"

Sasuke let his hands drop to his sides. "That is a very good question."

Naruto was moving his head to look behind Sasuke and around the area. "What are you talking about? I don't see any kids around here."

"..Are you wearing Sasuke-kun's clothes?" Orochimaru said distastefully, looking at Naruto's outfit up and down with a critical eye. "Do I even want to know?"

"H-Hey, it's nothing weird!" Naruto stammered. "I'm just wearing these to cover myself in his scent!"

"Ah, of course," Orochimaru nodded solemnly. "I understand completely."

This time Sasuke _did _groan out loud. "Can't we just get on with it already?"

"Get on with what?" Naruto said. "You mean, get on looking for—"

"Don't even say it, Naruto. That _is _Orochimaru."

"Right!" Naruto's chest puffed up and his face took on a fierce scowl as he took several long strides towards Orochimaru. Showing absolutely no signs of fear, Naruto raised his hand and pointed an accusing finger at the sannin. "Just who the hell do you think you are? You think you can just show up here and drag Sasuke to away to your creepy perverted layer, you sick child molester?! Well, it's not gonna happen. Not while I'm here! Nobody tells me what to do—I'm gonna be Hokage someday, and I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Orochimaru looked increasingly amused by the display—right up until the pedophile part. "Excuse me, but... a child molester?" Orochimaru sighed at Sasuke in disappointment. "Really, Sasuke-kun, what _have _you been telling people about me?"

"I don't even..." Sasuke faltered. "Don't look at me. He came up with that part on his own."

Naruto turned towards him, scowling. "You said he wanted your body!"

"Not like _that!_"

"Well what the heck else is that supposed to mean?!"

"You're quite the little pervert, aren't you?" Orochimaru interrupted.

"I'm not the pervert!" Naruto yelled back. "You're the pervert, pervert!"

"I—" Orochimaru stopped speaking and gave him a cold look, evidently realizing that Naruto was attempting to goad him into a name calling match. "Enough with the juvenile displays. I admit, the outfits _are _cute, but they're not quite matching yet, are they?" Orochimaru took a menacing step towards them. "Naruto-kun, tell me—do you like snakes?"

"Not really."

"Naruto," Sasuke said, "I think that was a rhetorical—"

"Summoning Jutsu!" With a dark chuckle, Orochimaru executed the technique, and a storm of what appeared to be hundreds of snakes covered the ground, all writhing and tangled together on the path before them. The creatures slithered over one another and spread out in an arc, moving to surround them on both sides.

At their approach, Sasuke unleashed a short volley of shuriken at the nearest snakes, each blow strong enough to decapitate them, and Naruto quickly followed suit. The snakes remained unphased by the attack, and for every one that fell, two more crawled over the corpses in a seemingly never-ending stream.

"This isn't working," Sasuke grimaced. What was Orochimaru playing at, calling a bunch of tiny snakes like that when he could summon monstrous creatures like Manda? Unless... was he afraid of drawing too much attention to the Uchiha complex? A summon like that would be hard to ignore.

Snakes of this caliber might be taken out with a fire jutsu, but after checking on his chakra reserves, Sasuke realized he wouldn't be able to pull something like that off. He'd consider himself lucky if he managed a handful of substitution jutsu.

"Naruto," Sasuke said. "I'm going to need you to-"

"-to summon shadow clones?"

"No, I-"

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" With one loud bang, dozens and dozens of Naruto clones popped into existence. They flew towards the sea of snakes blocking their path and halted just before hitting the first wave. "Wait, how the heck do I fight a snake? Should I just step on them?"

This was a terrible, terrible idea. Or... maybe it was a brilliant one? It _was _Naruto, after all. Shadow clones usually solved all of his problems, right? Sasuke glanced over at Orochimaru: his former master was silent but observant, intrigued by the display.  
**  
**The first clone to reach the snakes hesitated. With one foot, he attempted to stomp on the snake, only for it to lithely dodge his blow. The snake darted towards him, clamping its jaws around his forearm, and the clone howled briefly before vanishing.

"Wait, no. I got this!" The next clone zipped past its predecessor's previous spot. He proceeded to try the exact same stomping motion—and disappeared the exact same way.

"This time!"  
**  
**Sasuke backed up, choosing to watch the ensuing chaos from a safer distance. The Naruto clones had gone all out in one large wave. Sasuke could see snakes slithering up limbs, into pant legs and wrapping around necks, and the streams of cursing that emanated from the clones nearly drowned out the hissing of the snakes.

"Okay, new plan," Naruto announced, dismissing his clones.

Orochimaru and Sasuke both looked at him expectantly at the same time.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

All of Naruto's clones reappeared.

Sasuke stared back at them with a dumbfounded expression. "You _can't _be serious."

"I'm tempted to just kill you outright, but this is almost entertaining to watch," Orochimaru said. "So please, continue—and feel free to exhaust your chakra while you're at it. Try to hurry, though; I'm on a strict schedule here."  
**  
**"Ha! Just wait until you see my new jutsu. Then you won't be laughing!" Placing his hands together, Naruto performed several seals. As he finished, all of his clones vanished once more, and in their place stood dozens and dozens of... wait, what were those? Sasuke squinted: covering the floor of the path was an assortment of furry creatures with slender bodies and long, tapered tails.

"Is that... a mongoose?" Orochimaru said, both eyebrows raised as he stared at the weasel-like creatures.

Naruto grinned back at him, looking exceedingly pleased with himself. "It's my Multiple Shadow Clone Mongoose Summoning Jutsu!"  
**  
**Sasuke gaped at him—he had no idea that Naruto knew anything about animals. That was... new. "..Did you just string a bunch of random words together or—"

"They're not random!" Naruto interrupted. "When you create new jutsu, you get to name them. Isn't that cool?"

"That's not a new jutsu," Sasuke pointed out. "That's the same jutsu combined with a henge. And it's not even a summon, so why—"

"It _is _a new jutsu! Believe it!"As he spoke, the mongooses rushed towards the snakes, and the opposing creatures began circling one another. "Mongooses are badass, just watch," Naruto continued excitedly. "They have awesome taijutsu moves and wrestle with super poisonous snakes and bite their heads clean off!"

Sasuke sighed. "But you're not a mongoose. You just _look _like a mongoose. You're not actually any faster..."

"Oh crap, you're right."

Sasuke's observation was proven to be true as Naruto's mongoose clones proceeded to engage in strike matches with the snakes and failed miserably. Surprisingly, the mongoose Narutos _did _manage to take out quite a few more snakes than his human forms had, mostly due to the snakes being both wary and utterly confused. When about half of the clones had vanished, Orochimaru gave a curt wave, and the snakes began moving the snakes retreated, ignoring the presence of the mongooses, Naruto dispersed the remains of his clones. "Well, that didn't work exactly, but it was still pretty cool, right, Sasuke?" **  
**  
Sasuke blinked. Okay. Well. That happened. "Naruto, I'm... I'm not sure what that accomplished."

"Whaddya mean? Just look at him—he's called off his snakes! He must be intimidated!"

"He mostly just looks confused," Sasuke noted, pausing to look back at Orochimaru. "And... now he's laughing."

"It's clearly a laugh of desperation!"

"I don't—" Sasuke stopped as the snakes began converging together, melting into each other to form several larger serpents, morphing again and again until only one very large snake was left. It hissed once, and in one swift movement, the snake charged at Naruto.

Sasuke watched in frustration as Naruto shrieked and moved to dodge the hit, barely avoiding the snake's jaws. The snake proceeded to chase him off the main path, following Naruto as he winded around several trees in a clumsy attempt to lose his attacker.

"Arrgh!" Sasuke ran a hand through his hair. "Just use Rasengan already!"

"What's Rasengan?"

Oh yeah. That was way #53 Sasuke had managed to fuck up this timeline.

"Rasengan?" Orochimaru was looking at Naruto with a curious expression now. "Interesting..."

Sasuke grimaced: this was the worst day _ever_. Well, okay. Fourth worst day. First being, of course, the day his parents were murdered and he was psychologically tortured by his brother. Second being the day his brother psychologically tortured him _again_, and the third being the day he woke up in this godforsaken alternate world. There were some other crappy days thrown in the mix, too, of course—Haku beating him, Gaara beating him, almost being blown up by Deidara, having to run away from the majority of the Kage at the Summit, finding out Kakashi had the Mangekyō Sharingan, discovering that Itachi had been ordered to massacre his family—you know, the usual. Story of his life.

"Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke blinked once, re-adjusting his eyesight and he realized that he had been staring into two yellow, serpentine eyes. When had Orochimaru moved..?

Without warning, the sannin lunged towards him, and Sasuke scrambled to prepare himself for the onslaught. Sasuke met each of Orochimaru's moves blow for blow as the sannin tested him. He stayed on the defensive, attempting to conserve energy while also keeping a close eye on Naruto's location, wary of being separated from him. Sasuke considered making a break for the edge of the barrier, but he knew that Orochimaru would sense his intentions and put an end to the game. What exactly did he want? Was Orochimaru planning on knocking him out and lugging his body back to Sound? Or maybe...

Sasuke's thoughts were interrupted as Orochimaru's hits abruptly stopped. The sannin jumped away from Sasuke, and after landing, his neck elongated, stretching outward as his head twisted towards Sasuke with barred teeth.

The cursed seal.

A jolt of adrenaline hit Sasuke's system as Orochimaru sped towards him: his pulse skyrocketed and his breath caught in his throat as everything seemed to slow down. No, that wasn't right. Everything wasn't slowing down. Orochimaru wasn't slower, but his movements all seemed to be followed by a series of after images. Sasuke's eyes widened. Finally, his tomoe were fully developed. This was—

An agonizing spasm shot through his eyes, and Sasuke gasped, snapping them shut as the sensation coursed through him. Chakra exhaustion... of course any good news would be immediately followed by excruciating pain...And the head was still coming...

"Sasuke!"

Quickly, Sasuke looked up just in time to see Naruto jab his hand onto the ground. His teammate seemed different, somehow... There was a feral look in Naruto's eyes as his palm met the floor. "Summoning Jutsu!"

One second there was nothing, and in the next, an enormous red toad with a faded scar over one eye had appeared, landing directly on the snake with a loud _plop_; the summon towered over the nearby buildings and his head nearly collided with the top of the barrier. The toad opened his eyes blearily several times before his face settled into a deep frown, and he looked around the area in confusion.

"Whoa..." Naruto stared up at the toad from below in astonishment. "I didn't know I could summon something like that! That's.. that's huge!"

Gamabunta fixed two angry eyes on him. "Where am I? Who the hell are you?"

Orochimaru's head froze mid-journey, visibly surprised. And so was Sasuke, because that frog was monstrous, and there was _no way _nobody saw that.

"Toad summons," Orochimaru sneered, a glint of recognition visible in his eyes. "Naruto-kun... you must be a student of Jiraiya's." After a moment, his expression turned dark. "All of this is that imbecile's fault to begin with, and now a student of his is wrecking yet another one of my plans—I don't think so. Here's a little present for your sensei."

"Uh..." Naruto started, briefly taking his eyes off of the giant toad—who, for his part, still seemed to be waking up. "Present?"

"Consider your corpse a token of gratitude for Jiraiya's earlier interference, since I doubt someone of your caliber will survive. But on the off-chance that you do, well..." Orochimaru's words trailed off as he broke into laughter. His neck twisted sharply as he veered away from Sasuke and straight towards Naruto instead. Sasuke tried to call out to him, but his throat was paralyzed and Naruto didn't seem to be moving. Orochimaru was too close—and within seconds, he had latched onto Naruto's neck.

"What the—What are you doing?!" Naruto shrieked, grabbing a handful of Orochimaru's hair as he attempted to pry him off.

Orochimaru released his hold and retracted back as Naruto grasped at his own neck with both hands. Groaning in pain, he fell to the floor in a heap and Sasuke looked on in utter shock. Naruto continued to whimper, clawing at the newly form cursed seal and trembling as he tried to endure the pain wreaking havoc on his body. Sasuke could do nothing but stand there—couldn't seem to move, couldn't quite process what had happened. Naruto wasn't supposed to get the cursed seal—that... that was... Sasuke no longer wanted it, but...

The shock consuming him was broken as Orochimaru blocked his line of sight once again, all traces of amusement gone from his face. "As fun as that was, it's time for us to go."

From behind him, Sasuke could see the outline of Naruto's body on the floor. He heard the toad summon's deep-throated voice as he badgered Naruto with questions about who he was and why Orochimaru was there, and Sasuke heard as Naruto's whimpering stopped as he drifted into unconsciousness. He saw as snakes shot out of Orochimaru's arms, and he stood still, making no move to dodge as they sped towards him. The snakes slid across his body, encompassing his torso. As he was lifted high into the air, Sasuke continued staring past Orochimaru, towards Naruto... He felt sharp scales and thick muscles wrapping around his neck, cutting off his air supply. After a moment, Sasuke choked, struggling to breathe, but his windpipe was blocked off, and there was nothing he could do, nothing—**  
**  
Abruptly, the snakes disappeared. Sasuke dropped to the floor, gasping for breath. His lungs filled with cool air, and for a while he did nothing but breathe in as knelt down on all fours. When his head cleared, Sasuke realized that it was uncannily silent.

He looked up. Orochimaru was gone. So were the snakes... and so was Gamabunta. Sasuke awkwardly rose to his feet, horribly confused. Naruto was still on the floor, quiet and unmoving. Sasuke rushed over to his body, immediately checking on his breathing, and sighed in relief when it became apparent that he was just unconscious. "Damn it, Naruto..."

"Oh, don't worry about him. He'll be fine!"

Sasuke jumped, startled, and glanced wildly around. No one was there. But, that voice...

"He'll be more than fine, actually!"**  
**  
That _voice_. Sasuke's eyes widened. "Higurashi..."One second, there was nothing, and in the next, a cloaked figure stood before Sasuke, his hood drawn and face obscured in shadows. The man's voice was hoarse and gravelly, but Sasuke realized his tone was being intentionally altered, and as he spoke the second time it was almost instantly recognizable. With two hands, the man reached towards his head, and as his hood flew back, Sasuke took a good look at the man...

..and was met with the face of a stranger.

"Oh, heh. Right." With one handsign, Higurashi's disguise dropped in a flash of smoke.

The man was tall, with bright eyes and spiky hair, and was much younger than Sasuke had pictured. His form was engulfed in a deep red cloak, and although younger than anticipated, Sasuke could still make out fine age lines near the man's eyes... and the accompanying laugh lines near the whisker marks on his cheeks.

Sasuke stood there staring, beyond shocked, beyond words, and his voice was quiet when he finally spoke. "Naruto..?"

The man threw back his head and laughed. "You got it!"

Sasuke gaped at him, jaw left open. Naruto's? shoulders shook as he continued to laugh, and when he finally regained his composure, he approached Sasuke. Looking down at the younger Naruto's form on the floor, the older man said, "You can call me Uzumaki. Or Namikaze, if that's less confusing. Or, hell, Higurashi is fine. That's normally my traveling name—and penname..." Higurashi trailed off. He looked at Sasuke once more and smiled. "Wow, I'm taller than you. I could get used to this."

"You..." Sasuke's voice broke, and he took a wobbly step backwards. "Where... where's Orochimaru?"

"Oh, that creep?" Higurashi shrugged. "Heheh. I popped him to another dimension. One without shrimp, I think," He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Or maybe it was a world with nothing _but _shrimp? I can't really remember."

Sasuke looked at him—at his thick blonde hair, his blue eyes, bright with mischief—and then looked back at the small form of the other Naruto on the floor, who seemed dull and lifeless by comparison. It was becoming hard to breathe again. "What happened to the toad Naruto summoned?"

"Gamabunta? I zapped him away too. That punk didn't even try to help us, remember? He just kept blabbering on and on about how I woke him up while I was busy lying there in pain," Higurashi complained. "Good riddance, if you ask me."**  
**  
"You..." Sasuke stopped. How was he supposed to respond to something like that? Who _was _this Naruto? "You've been here this entire time? I can't... Why didn't you show up sooner?"  
**  
**"And ruin the fun? Are you crazy?" Higurashi chuckled. "We were having a blast! Weren't we, Sasuke-chan?" He raised his hands in a wide gesture, and his cloak loosened, just enough for the skin of his neck to be more fully exposed and Sasuke's eyes latched onto the familiar cursed seal on his neck.

The thick black markings popped out at him, horrifyingly magnified, and suddenly, Sasuke had a very bad feeling.

* * *

**A/N: Don't worry; all will be explained in time. Thank you ****Blackrazgriz**** for beta-ing!** **I was originally going to end the chapter like this and then post the real next section later (here it is omake-style):  
**

That _voice_. Sasuke's eyes widened. "Higurashi..."**  
**  
One second, there was nothing, and in the next, a cloaked figure stood before Sasuke, his hood drawn and face obscured in shadows. The man's voice was hoarse and gravelly, but Sasuke realized his tone was being intentionally altered, and as he spoke the second time it was almost instantly recognizable. With two hands, the man reached towards his head, and as his hood flew back, Sasuke took a good look at the man and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, 'Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabby, 'Yo, holmes, smell ya later!' Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air."


	22. Scry vs Scry

**Chapter 22: Scry vs. Scry**

* * *

**A/N: **The diagram Higurashi gives to Sasuke can be found here (after removing spaces) (http) albums / t17 / rikkuswirls / taba / ?t=1376846870 . It's also located in my profile.

* * *

There was only so much time a person could spend reeling from shock. As Sasuke mentally catalogued through everything that had happened to him since being thrust into this universe, he came to the conclusion that he had reached The Limit. Yes: he had officially lost the ability to be surprised. What's that? Orochimaru's secretly an Uchiha who hadn't inherited the famed Sharingan and was thrown out of the clan as an infant? Sasuke would buy it. An older, warped version of his childhood friend had materialized out of thin air and zapped him into an alternate dimension? No big deal. It happens.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"What?" Sasuke blurted out.  
**  
**"I _said_," Higurashi cleared his throat, "Is there any place you've always wanted to visit?"

Sasuke stared at him for a good ten seconds before he turned away and began surveying the area. Nothing had changed, except... "The barrier..." Sasuke murmured to himself. "It's gone."

Relief flooded his system, and the tension that left his body was quickly replaced with exhaustion. He could get out. Not that it mattered anymore. Shit, would he be blamed for the barrier being taken down? Did the Hokage even know about... Higurashi?

For the moment, it didn't matter. "We need to get him to the hospital," Sasuke said, inclining his head towards Naruto. He was probably in a lot of pain...

Sasuke took a step back towards his friend's body, but Higurashi quickly intercepted him. "Not so fast, Sasuke. I told you not to worry about him. He'll be okay."

"Don't you mean _you'll _be okay?"

"Sure," Higurashi shrugged. He placed his hands together and began making several signs.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"You like Suna, right?"

"What? No, I—"

"Ame?" Higurashi suggested. "Ame's nice and rainy. They're a bit of a mess politically, but—"

"I don't understand—"

"How about Yugakure? It's basically tourist central this time of year. Place's great, and..."

"I'm not going _anywhere_ with you," Sasuke interrupted. "You're crazy."

"Aww, come on, Sasuke. Don't be like that. We'll come back eventually, but first, we're gonna pull a disappearing act," When Sasuke just stared at him dumbly, he continued, "The Hokage's gonna freak out! It'll be hilarious!"

"_What?_ No, no it won't. It—"

"What do you suppose he'll think when he sees _me _lying on the floor with a cursed seal, after summoning Gamabunta, with the barrier broken and both you and Orochimaru missing?"

"What do _I _think?" Sasuke said incredulously, "I _think _they're going to call me a missing-nin and then everyone's going to try to murder me, that's what!"

"Can you picture the look on The Third's face?" Higurashi laughed, "And Itachi's gonna flip his shit. It'll be great!"

"You really _have _gone insane..."

"Hey, relax, Sasuke. Like they could do anything to us. It'll just give them a little scare, that's all. Come on, it'll be fun."

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but his words were abruptly cut off as his world tilted for a second time that night. One second, it was dark, and in the next, Sasuke found himself standing in a narrow alleyway between several nondescript buildings. In front of him stood Higurashi, and Sasuke could see the sun peeking out behind the top of a roof from over Higurashi's shoulder.

"Where did you take us..?" Sasuke asked.

"I dunno, I wasn't paying attention. Some kind of village, maybe?" Higurashi shrugged, glancing around with mild interest. "This place looks neat. Let's get ramen."  
**  
**Sasuke blinked. He wasn't... paying... attention? He was joking, right? Giving Higurashi a penetrating look, Sasuke felt his throat go dry. Higurashi probably _was _one-hundred percent serious. This was Naruto, after all...

"_Hello_? Did you hear me? I said I'm hungry. Do you want anything?"  
**  
**Sasuke looked up at him. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Cool, cool. We'll pick you up something bland, then."

"No, no food, damn it! Who the hell..." Sasuke stopped and took a deep breath. "I just... I don't understand. Where are we? Where are you from? Why did you bring me here?" Sasuke asked. "Are you... are you from the future of this timeline?"

"Well, no, not exactly," Higurashi said, absent-mindedly scratching his head. "More like an identical parallel universe of this timeline. Probably."

"Probably? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, I didn't invent time travel—well, okay, I _did _invent the jutsu, but that doesn't mean I know how it works."

"How can you even—of course you know how it works!"

When Higurashi only smiled sheepishly at him in response, Sasuke nearly bit the inside of his cheek in frustration. So Higurashi had physically traveled to this world too, and had been there the entire time, to boot. All this time, Sasuke had assumed that he himself had been responsible for every change that had occurred in the timeline, but apparently, that wasn't the case. Now that he thought about it, certain events were beginning to make a little more sense. At the time, he hadn't been able to figure out how he would have been responsible for what happened in Wave or how the Sand Invasion had been thwarted, but now... **  
**  
"So wait.. _you _told the Third about Orochimaru's plans? What else did you tell him?"

"Eh? Oh, well, I told him that I was Godaime in the future, that I found a way to inherit almost every bloodline in existence, that I was the Sage of Six Paths and the ten-tails jinchuriki, and that I was immortal and spent all of my waking moments sifting through the fabric of space-time." After a moment, Higurashi added, "Now that I think about it, what if the Third only appointed me as his successor because of what I told him? Ha!"

Sasuke stared at him. There were simply no words.

"Wanna know what happens to you?"

"No."

"After realizing the folly of your ways, you retreat to a quiet, isolated temple in the mountains and spend years meditating and repenting for your sins. Then you become a celibate monk and open an orphanage for abused and abandoned children, dedicating your life to-"

"I said _no_, you idiot!" Sasuke seethed. "And was that really the best you could come up with?"

"Hey, it's all completely true! Probably. In some universe... somewhere," Higurashi said. "And I really _was _Hokage for a while, but it's not as fun as you'd think. Apparently, other countries don't like it when you assist foreign resistance groups and help install a missing-nin as Kage of another Hidden Village. Who would have thought?"

"You _what_?"

"Bah, don't worry," Higurashi continued dismissively. "I retired. The Council kept bitching about 'strained foreign relations' and how it's 'inappropriate to select Kage candidates on the basis of who has the biggest sword—'"

"Please stop talking," Sasuke cut him off, "and take me back right now."

"Nah, not yet." When Higurashi saw Sasuke's quickly darkening expression, he continued, "What, you don't like it here? Well, tough. You didn't tell me where you wanted to go when I asked, so you lost your chance to complain."

"Where do I want to go?" Sasuke repeated back, glaring wildly at him, "I _want_ to go home!"

"Home?"

"Yes! Home! Back to my own damn time!"  
**  
**Higurashi tilted his head as he contemplated Sasuke's request. "Well, I _guess_ I could switch your souls back, if that's what you want. I mean, you're probably still alive..."

"Ye-wait, what?" Sasuke stopped. "What do you mean I'm _probably still alive_?"

"Oh, well, I haven't been back to check, so who knows. I mean, I _did_ send your twelve-year-old self there, after all..."

"You.. you did _what_?!" Sasuke's face went white. "Oh, God..."

"Yeah, it's pretty great, isn't it?"

Sasuke looked up at Higurashi—at _Naruto_—with wide, disbelieving eyes. The man seemed completely relaxed and not a damned bit repentant. "What is wrong with you?! Great? How is that GREAT?! I could be dead! You could be dead! Madara could have—"

"Geez, just calm down already. It's only one world, and you're here after all, so no harm done!"

"No harm..? Are you fucking kidding me? I can't even... why? What in the world was the point of doing that?"

"Why?" Higurashi shook his head. "Why not? Man, you should have been there! Sasuke-chan's reaction was priceless! Too bad I didn't have time to stick around for the aftermath."

"You're.. you're crazy," Sasuke declared. "Completely out of your mind."

"Oh, lighten up, Sasuke. You have to admit, it was pretty awesome. There's no way you're going to be able to top that prank. Now, for the last time... I'm hungry. The shop's right over here, so hurry up."

With that, Sasuke stood there and watched as Higurashi turned and walked out of the alleyway. As much as he would have liked to stand there and impersonate a statue as he pretended this was all some kind of horrible nightmare, Sasuke really didn't want to wind up getting lost. For all he knew, Higurashi had transported them to the other side of the world. Or to hell. Or worse, to some kind of Ramen Land._  
_  
As they walked through the town, Sasuke was slightly relieved to note that the architecture wasn't very different from Konoha's. He didn't recognize the location, but then again, he hadn't expected to. And when Higurashi led them straight to a nice-looking ramen stand, Sasuke realized that A.) They were at _least _on the same continent and that B.) Higurashi was a goddamn liar. He obviously knew exactly where they were.

Sasuke followed quietly as Higurashi went through the line, ordered something to go and finally led him to a park before taking a seat at a picnic table. He waited until Higurashi was halfway through the bowl before breaking the silence. "You're lying."

Higurashi blinked at him. "Eh?"

"I _said _you're lying."

"Possibly!" Higurashi said, slurping down another mouthful of noodles. "I've said a lot of things. You're gonna have to be a little more specific."

"You can't be Naruto. It doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does!"

"No, it doesn't," Sasuke stubbornly bit out. "Time travel is impossible. And if it makes sense, then explain it."

"Aha! I knew you were going to ask eventually," Higurashi said, dropping his chopsticks and reaching into his robe. After searching through his pockets, he pulled out a crumpled ball of paper and handed it to Sasuke from across the table.

Suspicious but somewhat interested, Sasuke hesitantly straightened out the sheet. It looked like a crude diagram depicting a theory of 'time travel.' "Why does this say 'Evil Sasuke'?" Sasuke said, frowning as he examined the diagram. "I'm not evil."

"Pretty sure you were."

"If I'm evil, I don't think they even have a word for you."

"Okay, okay, fine. We're not evil," Higurashi relented. "We're _tragically misunderstood_. Better?"

"No."

"Glad we agree! Anyway..." Higurashi began."Let's call me Naruto Y. In my timeline, a Naruto Z from a universe identical to mine traveled to my world as an adult and sent you, Sasuke—we'll call you Sasuke B—back in time, to my world, which changed the course of history. When I grew up and developed the jutsu—because it was an identical world—I traveled to another identical world, and met a young Naruto X, and sent a Sasuke C back in time to his world. And the cycle repeats itself, infinitely, in this set of connected universes. Get it?"

Sasuke stared at the paper with a blank expression. "No."

Higurashi sighed. "Okay, where did I lose you?"

"Right around the 'Naruto Y' part. Which isn't even on this paper, by the way."

"Oh, oops," Higurashi said. "Um... Okay, let's say that for every single 'world' that exists, there are an infinite amount of parallel universes that are identical to it. Now let's call the set of identical timelines that _you _came from 'Universe A' and the set of universes _I _came from 'Universe B.' Now, let's call the timeline we're in right now B3, the timeline you originally came from A2, and the timeline _I _came from B2..."

"Uh..."

"So, Sasuke from Universe A2—that's you!—is sent through time to Universe B3 by me, the Naruto from universe B2. Before that, the Sasuke from Universe A1 had been sent to Universe B2 by the Naruto from Universe B1—"

"Oh God, please just stop. I don't even care anymore. This is insane."

"Wait, wait, let me try one more time! I can make it simpler! Er, probably..." Higurashi took a deep breath and stood up from the bench as he looked around the area. His eyes lit up after spotting a handful of rocks, and after retrieving them, he dropped them on the table and divided them into two piles. "Alright! So, let's imagine that each of these rocks is a separate parallel universe. Uh, just pretend that there's an infinite amount of rocks in each pile, okay? Anyway—" He gestured towards the first pile of rocks—"this pile is _your _set of infinite universes, y'know, where you ran off with Orochimaru and killed Itachi and turned into a total asshat—"

"_Excuse _me_?_"

"And this other pile," Higurashi continued, ignoring him, "is my set of alternate universes, where _I _get the curse mark and end up as the super badass time-traveling retired Godaime and have a harem full of countless beautiful wives."

"Wait, what?" Sasuke glared. "That's complete bullshit."

"Oh, whatever. It could happen."

"No, it really couldn't."

"You think?" Higurashi frowned. "Well, I hope Hiruzen believed me at least. Otherwise he might start questioning the validity of my time-traveling-induced future knowledge."

"I hope you didn't actually tell him that. He's not an idiot," Sasuke said. "Unlike _you_."

"Back on topic!" Higurashi smiled momentarily, his frown returning after a few seconds. "Wait, where were we?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, I give up," Higurashi declared. "Good luck figuring it out on your own. Looks like you're gonna need it."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke looked back at the diagram. It's not that it was complicated, it just... didn't quite make sense. "If you're telling the truth..." Sasuke said slowly, "Where did the very first version of you come from? It's just.. not possible."

"Eh?"

"Where did the first Universe B come from? Look," Sasuke poked the paper with one finger, "If Higurashi was created because of '_Sasuke's_—" He cringed, irritated at the thought of having to talk about himself in third-person. Or did it not count in this case..? "—influence, the very first Sasuke would never have been able to switch dimensions, because there wouldn't _be _a Higurashi to have sent him there."

Higurashi smiled. "Have you ever heard of something called a temporal causality loop?"

"What..?" Sasuke glared. "And that's another thing! The Naruto I know wouldn't even know what the words 'temporal' and 'causality' were, much less how to use them in a sentence—"

"It describes a theoretical series of cause and effect events that loop circularly. 'A' causes 'B', 'B' causes 'C', and 'C' causes 'A.' See those arrows at the bottom of the diagram that point to nothing? Well, they don't actually lead to nothing. It's a loop, dummy!" Higurashi said. "Sasuke travels back in time, which alters the course of history and causes Naruto to change, which causes Naruto to develop dimension-traveling jutsu, which causes Naruto to send Sasuke back in time."

"That just raises even more questions!" Sasuke crumpled the paper in frustration. "_Something_ has to have come first."

"Oh?" Higurashi raised both eyebrows. "And where did the very first timeline come from? What came first, the chicken or the egg? Who created the world? What's the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. "Okay, fine. I get it. There's no answer."

"What's black, white, and red all over?"

"Shut up."

"Why did the chicken cross the-"

"I said shut _up _already_! God!"  
_  
Sasuke kept glaring as Higurashi chuckled to himself and resumed finishing his meal. As he ate, Sasuke was yet again struck by the utter _weirdness _of seeing an adult Naruto. Except this wasn't at all what Sasuke had pictured. Not that Sasuke had ever pictured Naruto as an adult before, but... So what, did this time travel explanation mean that Higurashi was a direct product of his influence on Naruto after traveling to the past? Because if so... who was really responsible for everything that had happened? Higurashi... or himself?

Sasuke's eyes locked onto the curse seal on Higurashi's neck once more, and he wondered if that was the missing link. After all, Sasuke wasn't _that _much of a bad influence, right? And maybe the curse seal had something to do with Naruto discovering space-time jutsu.

"I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no," Higurashi said. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Sasuke. You've been staring at my neck for like five minutes now. It's creeping me out."

Sasuke quickly looked down and resumed glaring at Higurashi's ramen bowl instead.

"I never figured out how to do anything with this dumb thing," Higurashi continued. "It's probably because of the ninetails chakra. It's basically just a tattoo at this point. I like to tell people I was drunk when I got it."

Sasuke frowned slightly and looked back up at the curse seal. That was plausible, but how was he supposed to know if Higurashi was telling the truth? At this point, his track record wasn't looking too good.

"How old are you now?" Sasuke asked.

"Two hundred and twelve."

Not good at all. "That is _not _funny."

"If you thought it was, I wouldn't be nearly as amused."

"Let me get this straight," Sasuke said. "You—_you,_ of all people!—managed to develop a jutsu that lets you travel through dimensions. You literally have the ability to alter time and space and transport anyone you want into another world, and instead of doing something useful with it, you spend your all time being a complete fucking asshole and thinking up the most catastrophic pranks you can to mess with people."

"Hey, that's not true. I don't spend _all _my time coming up with pranks," Higurashi said. "I also write erotic novels."

Remembering Jiraiya and the incident at the Hot Springs, Sasuke glared. "Write or steal?"

"..Both?"

"This... I can't..." Sasuke trailed off helplessly, at a loss for words yet again.

This was just great. He was stuck with a ridiculously overpowered Kage-level, dimension-hopping Naruto whose moral compass probably pointed towards the nearest ramen stand as opposed to anything resembling the words 'right' and 'wrong.' Going back to his old universe was probably out of the question, too. Thinking back, Sasuke was having a hard time remembering what he was like at twelve. What would he have even done if he had been thrust into the future? His thoughts would probably have been something along the lines of: "Itachi's dead? And I killed him? Wow, I'm awesome! Wait, where am I? Why can't I see?"

Assuming he was smart enough not to actually say anything to Madara or Kabuto and competent enough to get away, twelve-year-old Sasuke would probably try wandering back to Konoha. He'd have no idea how to even use his EMS and would most likely get completely annihilated by the first ANBU he ran into.

So long, old timeline. That was officially a lost cause. And _this _timeline? With Higurashi basically kidnapping him and Danzo wanting him dead?

He was so screwed.

"I don't want to live in this world anymore," Sasuke stated after a moment. "I think I'm going to kill myself."

* * *

**A/N:** Hopefully that clears… some things. But not everything. Yet. If you have questions… well… if I can answer them, I will! Also, not sure if you can get ramen to go, but since you can get soup to go, I went with it. Plus, I'm sure Naruto would find a way.


End file.
